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Small Jam - Assorted Egos: What I learned last night.
- Thread starter DianaBass
- Start date
it even happens to killers. my buddy was hosting a happening jam night and a girl wanted to play drums but they put her with the hands down worst dudes in the jam. so she started having fun playing a super simple beat but doing a lot of fancy stick twirls and just acting really goofy while laying it down. well one of the hosts didnt like that and walked up halfway through a took her sticks. i could not believe it. it ruined the entire night for everyone but her. she brushed it off like a pro.
"Had an experience last night at a new jam for me, being thrown in with one of that type, a guitarist, barking out the changes (which I already knew) then get frustrated with me, and GRAB my bass neck and start fingering the pattern in the middle of the song!!! Unforgivable. I left the stage at the end of that song, as he said " you REALLY need to PREPARE next time!""
If someone did that to me I'd take the neck of HIS guitar and stick it someplace else.
If someone did that to me I'd take the neck of HIS guitar and stick it someplace else.
A truly savvy performer will roll with variations rather than telegraph apparent ‘mistakes’ to the audience.
Well there you go; that's an A-hole. I am so glad others stepped up to act like normal human beings and welcome you to the crowd. SUCH an ass.
This raises a question to me, coming from the classical world, where one's hand would be stricken from one's wrist if you touched another person's instrument. When I started playing pop/church gigs, I had to learn not to squirm when sound guys and BLs clamped sh*t onto my cello bridge or f-holes, or moved me around by grabbing my bass and expecting me to follow. I always did wonder if they only did it because of my gender, or if that was just how it was done.
No matter, I would be way pissed if someone started fingering notes for me. Please.
This raises a question to me, coming from the classical world, where one's hand would be stricken from one's wrist if you touched another person's instrument. When I started playing pop/church gigs, I had to learn not to squirm when sound guys and BLs clamped sh*t onto my cello bridge or f-holes, or moved me around by grabbing my bass and expecting me to follow. I always did wonder if they only did it because of my gender, or if that was just how it was done.
No matter, I would be way pissed if someone started fingering notes for me. Please.
Can’t say if it’s gender-related but you really have to wonder…
Always try to make the other players look good even if they are an a-hole when there's an audience.
Their actions toward you reflect solely on them as your rection to them reflects on you.
You'll never have to play with him again if you don't want to. Just say "Sorry I'm not prepared enough for you."
...and they DO tend to come asking again eventually.
Their actions toward you reflect solely on them as your rection to them reflects on you.
You'll never have to play with him again if you don't want to. Just say "Sorry I'm not prepared enough for you."
...and they DO tend to come asking again eventually.
Glad to hear the "cool kids" Came out to play. Some people have a very difficult time handling their own perceived fame...
Preceded by "Hey whatsa madda you"
Makes me think of how some people need to be warned ahead of time. Maybe this sign would help
Seriously though, you handled it better than most would. Nothing worse than having a combination of pride and insecurity, (also taking too personal what many others besides you have probably experienced with this guy) cause one to react in a way to make a negative experience more memorable to themselves and everyone else that was there.
Incidents like this make me very grateful that the group I play with now is totally over themselves and something like this wouldn't even be on the radar.
In the past, I've never had something like this happen... then again, I am kind of a leviathan lol.
In the past, I've never had something like this happen... then again, I am kind of a leviathan lol.
Glad you got support from the other players. I’ll bet none other players will be so “generous” the next time this guy show up.
To you your point about being “musically generous” , it’s something critical a bassist needs to adhere to. When you get down to it, a band should be about giving up things for the good of the whole. If my players can’t be free to bring out their best art, we all lose. Also, it helps to pass out bones now and again.
I do wonder if that plays a part, as well. He sure would not have touched any of the other guy's stuff.
Thanks for all of the support! These jams here tend to have a big number of players who are there on their night off, to network, and play with people they don't get to play with often. I FORGOT to add the best part! After I walked off stage so someone else could play, I heard him say "she doesn't like me." I just kept walking. The guy had a wireless for his guitar, at a blues jam. And as I sat with the local pro players, it was bugging him from the stage. So he started walking off stage to stand next to the most popular of the musicians I was with.. and he was trying to get their attention, even sitting in a chair near us, while playing, trying to get their attention. It was the best. lol
