Smoothest process for leaving a band

[Govner22]

I’m currently in four projects which has become too many. The band I’m intending to leave after over ten years has gigs in July and October, which I plan to play since I committed to them.

In this position, would you inform the group now that you’re planning to leave in October? This would give them lead time to find a new bassist but it could be a bit awkward. Or would you make a clean break after the gigs? They won’t be scheduling gigs after October since the guitarist snowbirds until spring.

I’m on good terms with the members. They won’t be happy but it’s a very good band that I think would attract interest from good bassists. I’m leaning toward the first option but might be missing something.

Thoughts appreciated, especially from folks who have dealt with this in the past.

 

[ArtechnikA]

'I will be leaving; I will be available to play the scheduled gigs as agreed if you want.'

 

[gidbass]

I’m currently in four projects which has become too many. The band I’m intending to leave after over ten years has gigs in July and October, which I plan to play since I committed to them.

In this position, would you inform the group now that you’re planning to leave in October? This would give them lead time to find a new bassist but it could be a bit awkward. Or would you make a clean break after the gigs? They won’t be scheduling gigs after October since the guitarist snowbirds until spring.

I’m on good terms with the members. They won’t be happy but it’s a very good band that I think would attract interest from good bassists. I’m leaning toward the first option but might be missing something.

Thoughts appreciated, especially from folks who have dealt with this in the past.

I’d do it now and reiterate that you’ll honor the already committed gigs

Good luck!

 

[Hundred proof]

I found my on replacement

 

[Killing Floor]

Toss a stone into the corner and when they look that direction you make your getaway.

Or rob a liquor store and the departure is out of your hands.

Or tell them you are leaving by X date and honor commitments.

 

[RandomKaren]

Blame the drummer then rage quit. It's the only way.

 

[ShadowGroover]

You're ready to leave now, so leave now. Offer to sub their next 2 gigs, if you're wanted or needed.

 

[Turnaround]

Talk it over with the band now. Maybe they would prefer to get someone in and up to speed for the July and October gigs. Or maybe they'd prefer for you to stay on board until after October. or until after the July gig. Just be up front, but talk it over now.

 

[JazznFunk]

I did not leave my last full-time super busy band by choice. They wanted to tour too much without proper financial compensation to justify it, I hated the road, and they wanted their friend in the band so they could tour and maybe break even touring. I got it, but it was a slap in the face the way they went about it with me after just shy of 10 years making music together. They basically told me 'we're moving on regardless, but you get to decide when you want to leave.' I told them from a purely business standpoint, I counted on all the gigs booked through the end of the year (public and private) for planning and financial reasons, and that I would expect they would honor all of those dates as booked with me on board. Any NEW dates I would get right of first refusal. If I couldn't/didn't want to do them, the other guy could do them and I was fine with that. My absolute last date was the CD release show for the album we had just recorded. What a whirlwind of a year that was.

 

[FugaziBomb]

Tell each member you're leaving because you don't like what the other members say about them behind their backs.

 

[gln1955]

The only reason to not tell them now is if you think you might change your mind. Otherwise, let them know, offer to play the booked gigs and they can handle it how they choose. Helping them find your replacement and getting them up to speed would be a nice gesture if everyone is so inclined.

 

[el murdoque]

Tell them now.
If you're on good terms, you might even help train your replacement and maybe get someone ready before those gigs.
If the terms turn sour, they need you more than you need them.

 

[pepj]

I’d do it now and reiterate that you’ll honor the already committed gigs

Good luck!

I'd say leaving now but if you get really stuck covering those dates, I will see what I can do.
I'm not keen in stringing these things out. I'm leaving...so asap, for me.

 

[Jefenator]

I like to keep things classy & treat them as I'd like to be treated, which means being as open and giving as much advance notice as possible.
Paradoxically, the less I trust people to respect my wishes & carry on amicably, the more imperative it is to get the heck out!

 

[Reedt2000]

'I will be leaving; I will be available to play the scheduled gigs as agreed if you want.'

Pretty much. Tell them this is your last year and you won't be available after the gigs in October. You'll do everything you've committed to, unless they find someone else before that and want you to step aside sooner.

 

[BigJohnAZ]

I believe in Karma, so, tell them now. Then no one can ever say you left them high & dry.

 

[TheReceder]

I'd just do what you think you'd want if you were in thier shoes.
I was in a similar situation... what I did.
1. Gave notice as far in advance as I could, was honest about why I needed out.
2. Played every gig that they needed me to
3. When they found my replacement, I gave copies of my charts, and spent time with him to show him the more complicated parts (this was pre youtube and back in the day when people wore out the rewind button)
3a. The guy was a putz and claimed he already knew the tunes. Didn't take help well, and he really didn't know the tunes at all.
3b. I warned the band. He was fired after 3 gigs. They ended out passing the bass between the two guitarists and keyboardist.
40 years later I'm still on good terms with all of them, and have been asked to fill in with multiple groups over the years.

No matter what... don't burn bridges.

 

[WI Short Scaler]

I’m currently in four projects which has become too many. The band I’m intending to leave after over ten years has gigs in July and October, which I plan to play since I committed to them.

In this position, would you inform the group now that you’re planning to leave in October? This would give them lead time to find a new bassist but it could be a bit awkward. Or would you make a clean break after the gigs? They won’t be scheduling gigs after October since the guitarist snowbirds until spring.

I’m on good terms with the members. They won’t be happy but it’s a very good band that I think would attract interest from good bassists. I’m leaning toward the first option but might be missing something.

Thoughts appreciated, especially from folks who have dealt with this in the past.

4 projects is alot, to me anyway.

When I left the last band I just told them it wasn't open to discussion and didn't want hurt feelings by arguing. I was out after the committed gigs we had on the books. There were multiple follow up messages and emails to discuss more. Politely said my decision was made up and the discussions would only cause hard feelings.

If it was me I'd tell them now, with 3 other bands you probably have enough to keep busy.

 

[ProbablyTooLoud]

Dulcolax

 

[mrjim123]

Tell them now. It's not always easy to find a new band member.