Chiming in with everyone else, tell them now, offer to do the gigs that are on the books and offer to help get the new bassist up to speed quickly. Bonus points if you can recommend somebody.
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Smoothest process for leaving a band
- Thread starter Govner22
- Start date
Yeah, agreed. Inform them that you're leaving ASAP, and offer to play the shows if needed. Do it in person, too. The text thing sucks and tends to breed resentment.
My thought is you’re done….now if there is nothing on the book until then. If your intention is leaving in October, that is a long time to find a suitable replacement. Like if they find the guy next week you may be done sooner than you think.
I would word it in the present term. “ I’m sorry but there is too much on my plate so I’m leaving the band. I will play the July gig if the replacement isn’t ready to go.” I would avoid and details about the why, but stick to how much you enjoyed your time in the band, the hang, and that will be missed.
Best wishes.
Tell them now, they can decide on immediate replacement or search while you fulfil your obligation.
The bass player I replaced was asked to leave, the band gave him the option to finish out the month - he opted to leave right away. I went from never in a band to a rehearsal/audition on a Wed to playing back2back that weekend and many weekends after. Now I'm stuck. I'm being a bit facetious but for band benefit I've offered to leave (long story) and they won't let me.
The bass player I replaced was asked to leave, the band gave him the option to finish out the month - he opted to leave right away. I went from never in a band to a rehearsal/audition on a Wed to playing back2back that weekend and many weekends after. Now I'm stuck. I'm being a bit facetious but for band benefit I've offered to leave (long story) and they won't let me.
In my experience, any band that tries to make you feel bad for quitting was getting more outta your involvement than you were.
Thanks everybody! Lots of great advice for me to reflect on. (And the funny replies are helpful in their own way too. Humor cures many ills.) You all rock.
I was in a similar position. I told them I will leave but will be available for the committed gigs UNLESS they would prefer to find a bassist and get him/her up to speed. I also told them I would be happy to be their sub bassist which I have subbed a few times already. They weren't happy with my departure, but had no hard feelings either.
I got fired from a band once in my life via a text message. That was smooth departure as well
I got fired from a band once in my life via a text message. That was smooth departure as well
There must be 50 ways
Just tell em today, Ray
Play the gigs planned, Stan
Offer a sub, Bub
And set yourself free
Just tell em today, Ray
Play the gigs planned, Stan
Offer a sub, Bub
And set yourself free
Say you resign but will cover what is booked. Id also say if you find a replacement, happy to step aside sooner
If I'm done, I want out. I don't think you should feel obliged to play out the remaining gigs and since they seem so far apart, what is the point for both parties.
If they work so infrequently, who is going to join them.. so you might be stuck there, but personally I wouldn't be keen.
I wouldn't want to bring the other guy up to speed either. Never had that done to me.
If you are leaving because you havent got the time...you u dermine that reason by sticking around.
No one is burning bridges here..the next gig is July...???
If they work so infrequently, who is going to join them.. so you might be stuck there, but personally I wouldn't be keen.
I wouldn't want to bring the other guy up to speed either. Never had that done to me.
If you are leaving because you havent got the time...you u dermine that reason by sticking around.
No one is burning bridges here..the next gig is July...???
Jazzdogg
Less barking, more wagging!
I was in a six-piece band for about a decade, playing weekly gigs in several venues, plus weddings and the occasional corporate gig.
Our leader had problems with alcohol that got progressively worse. I saw the handwriting on the wall and amicably gave him 60 days notice, with an offer to help find my replacement. No recriminations, accusations, or rage quitting.
After our next gig, the following week, our leader paid me and said "We're done. No need to stick around for a couple months." We parted company calmly and amicably - as far as I could tell.
I ran into the drummer and few weeks later and asked how the band was doing. He gave me a confused look and told me that the band had broken up the week after the last gig I'd played with them.
The band leader had never told the rest of the band that I had given notice, or that he had dismissed me after our last gig together.
Life can be very unpredictable among musicians.
Our leader had problems with alcohol that got progressively worse. I saw the handwriting on the wall and amicably gave him 60 days notice, with an offer to help find my replacement. No recriminations, accusations, or rage quitting.
After our next gig, the following week, our leader paid me and said "We're done. No need to stick around for a couple months." We parted company calmly and amicably - as far as I could tell.
I ran into the drummer and few weeks later and asked how the band was doing. He gave me a confused look and told me that the band had broken up the week after the last gig I'd played with them.
The band leader had never told the rest of the band that I had given notice, or that he had dismissed me after our last gig together.
Life can be very unpredictable among musicians.
If you want to leave now, leave now. Tell the others in the most considerate way you reasonably can, but there's no need to apologize for leaving or be made to feel bad about it. People change, situations change, stuff happens.
You could offer to cover the upcoming gigs if they don't have a replacement in place by then, as many folks have already said, but you're not really obliged to IMO, given that the gigs are so far off and you're giving more than enough notice. It can be a nice gesture, though.
I also don't think you're really obliged to spend any of your own time getting the new player up to speed. If they're good enough to be worth recruiting, then they ought to be able to get themselves going without needing you to hold their hand, especially with this much lead time. Or, as in an example above, they might be not very good but also not very interested in being helped. Either way, you have no actual obligation IMO. But if you really feel you want to, then do what you wanna do.
You could offer to cover the upcoming gigs if they don't have a replacement in place by then, as many folks have already said, but you're not really obliged to IMO, given that the gigs are so far off and you're giving more than enough notice. It can be a nice gesture, though.
I also don't think you're really obliged to spend any of your own time getting the new player up to speed. If they're good enough to be worth recruiting, then they ought to be able to get themselves going without needing you to hold their hand, especially with this much lead time. Or, as in an example above, they might be not very good but also not very interested in being helped. Either way, you have no actual obligation IMO. But if you really feel you want to, then do what you wanna do.
If it were me, I would simply tell them the truth now. This gives them time to plan and find a replacement.
If they replace you before then, that's the breaks, but I'm never sorry for telling the truth or doing the right thing.
Plus, I'd be damn tired of carrying it around with me like some dark secret until October(!?!). I'd do the right thing and get it off the table
If they replace you before then, that's the breaks, but I'm never sorry for telling the truth or doing the right thing.
Plus, I'd be damn tired of carrying it around with me like some dark secret until October(!?!). I'd do the right thing and get it off the table
Let them know as soon as possible. Gently, yet with clarity and openness. Then fulfill your commitments for the gigs you booked while in the band. If they find a new bassist in the mean time and want to sub them in a little, then so be it. But, being available and engaged during your signed on time would mean a lot to most bands.
A person is not much of they don’t honor their word. Bandmates come and go, but relationships, honesty, trustworthiness etc are forever.
In your OG post you seem to know what the best option is. Best of luck!
A person is not much of they don’t honor their word. Bandmates come and go, but relationships, honesty, trustworthiness etc are forever.
In your OG post you seem to know what the best option is. Best of luck!
Do you want to play the remaining gigs through October? If so, and knowing they won't have gigs past that until the spring, I would wait until about August or September and tell them. If you want to get out now, I would let them know as soon as you can but still offer to play all gigs until October.
Easy peasey.
Easy peasey.
buldog5151bass
Kibble, milkbones, and P Basses. And redheads.
Do it like Bernie Leadon.
Pour a beer on BL’s head while saying, “Dude, you need to chill.” And then leave.
Pour a beer on BL’s head while saying, “Dude, you need to chill.” And then leave.
