Smoothest process for leaving a band

[getrhythm]

So Anyway, I'd tell them now that I was no longer available as a regular member. No rehearsals, etc. Having made that clear, I'd treat them like any other band who wanted to hire me as a sub.

They should have time to find someone else for the July/Oct. gigs.

Good Luck with your decision.

This is fine…and I wouldn’t take on the responsibility of getting anyone “up to speed”. You’re done and if your replacement can’t handle it it’s not your problem. Good luck.

 

[Pet Sounds]

Another reason to tell them now is, if there are snowbirds in the band, not everyone will be in town over the winter to rehearse with the new bassist, which could make it difficult for them to play out in the spring. Better for them to work with the new guy before then.

 

[sean_on_bass]

I’m currently in four projects which has become too many. The band I’m intending to leave after over ten years has gigs in July and October, which I plan to play since I committed to them.

In this position, would you inform the group now that you’re planning to leave in October? This would give them lead time to find a new bassist but it could be a bit awkward. Or would you make a clean break after the gigs? They won’t be scheduling gigs after October since the guitarist snowbirds until spring.

I’m on good terms with the members. They won’t be happy but it’s a very good band that I think would attract interest from good bassists. I’m leaning toward the first option but might be missing something.

Thoughts appreciated, especially from folks who have dealt with this in the past.

Depends on how badly you want out. If i really wanted out, i'd actually consider leaving right now, well before the July gig. That is plenty of time for them to find a sub or new permanent bassist. Keeping the band in my head space until October seems to be a bit much.

 

[lokikallas]

I wouldn't wait, because they will continue to book gigs based on the assumption they have a bassist.

 

[pepj]

not highly probable with only two gigs in the diary. Either booking starts late or regular venues are done for the year.

Around here, regular bar venues book Oct/Nov for the next year.
Every 3 years bars openly want new bands as people are bored with same old rota.

 

[Plain Old Barry]

A person is not much of they don’t honor their word. Bandmates come and go, but relationships, honesty, trustworthiness etc are forever.

Yup. Music is a relatively small community. How you leave others can make or break you from good opportunities in the future.

 

[Pocket Dave]

So many good recommendations along the same lines.

I'd do the same with only a slight add/change: "I'll to be leaving the band. I'll play out the two dates you've got on the books, though if you think it'll help you fast-track finding a replacement, I'll step aside sooner - Your call; Just let me know."

Sure, this will no longer be your problem once you're gone, but it's been my experience that bands usually need a strong sense of urgency before fully committing to finding a replacement. Wording it this way might get them to start thinking about it and possibly cut things off sooner.

IOW, they're not likely to start looking until the very end of your run, hoping against odds that you might change your mind.

 

[pepj]

Yep, I'm still of the opinion that they need to aim to get someone for July.
But I'm not sure who would find 2 gigs a year as anything to actually join. That just doesn't compute, imo.
So if you give them that opportunity, they aren't going to really be looking...they'll just play out those gigs so be prepared you are 95% doing them.

 

[Pocket Dave]

Yep, I'm still of the opinion that they need to aim to get someone for July.
But I'm not sure who would find 2 gigs a year as anything to actually join. That just doesn't compute, imo.
So if you give them that opportunity, they aren't going to really be looking...they'll just play out those gigs so be prepared you are 95% doing them.

The two gigs a year didn't really compute for me either. Even a full-time commitment is likely to really be seen like a sub or pickup gig. Sure, most pro-level players will come to the gig prepared, but around here they won't likely agree to any unpaid rehearsals unless there's either a 4/1 ratio of gigs/rehearsals or the per-gig rate pushes well north of $250/player.

 

[KenSmithFan]

Maybe I’m too businesslike, but with the next gig four months away, I’d just quit. You’re not married, it’s not “til death do us part,” a band is a business relationship that lasts as long as it’s mutually beneficial.

 

[51PRI]

'I will be leaving; I will be available to play the scheduled gigs as agreed if you want.'

Yeah, I agree. They SHOULD be able to find a replacement by July, and they probably would want to move on with a new member as well.