TL
R Booking agent slighted the band based on size and now the band doesn't want the gig.
As the primary person who books our gigs, I spend a lot of time finding places, making contact, establishing rapport, and then negotiating for the best possible outcome on both sides. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't. The other guys in the band have asked me to start pushing into a larger metropolitan area to see if we can expand our footprint and get into better venues. So, I've spent several months finding the appropriate venues, sending out teasers, follow-up calls with the venue, more follow-up calls/emails with the venues, all in an attempt to get that lucrative booking person's contact info. It takes a ton of time and when one finally bites, it's pretty exciting.
Anyway, I've also learned through booking gigs that many venue managers, booking agents, bar managers, etc. do their darndest to talk you down, belittle you, come up with reasons why they shouldn't pay what I'm asking, etc, etc. They have a vested interest in managing the expenses on their end of the equation so I understand it's how they choose to negotiate...and, I must say, I've gotten pretty good at not taking any of it personally. Most of the time, the resulting gig goes great, we end up with future bookings, and my bandmates are none-the-wiser.
...Until last night. I've been courting a metro area bar, known for booking mid-to-upper tier bands (we're a low-to-mid tier band, depending on the night but that's another thread!). In the conversation/negotiation, he hesitated once he found out we were a trio and actually asked me if we ever considered adding a fourth member. When I asked him why that would matter, he said they have a fairly large stage and trios and duos look pretty small on the stage. At that point, many things run through my head but I tell him that we've played many large stages (which we have) but we've yet to be told we come off as small or that our sound doesn't fill the room (we can be, uhm, LOUD!). He get's past it and we set up a tentative date for in October. Tentative because of how he wants to structure the comp, which is what concerned me so I wanted to discuss with the other guys.
Now, what comes next, has me completely bamboozled. I get ahold of the other two guys via text and tell them what's what. They're excited as it's another metro bar and are ok with the price. I then, for some reason, tell them about the comment on adding a fourth member and the guy being concerned about filling the stage. For some reason, this sets them both off and they go all in on what a d-bag this guy is and who is he to say that yadda yadda yadda. Up and to the point where they say they don't want to do the gig.
Now I'm p'd off. So I called them soft if that comment was enough to offend them. I also reminded them that, as the person who's doing 99% of our bookings, I hear all sorts of things from booking agents, bar managers, owners, etc. and it's part of how they negotiate the price down but if this comment has them so defeated that they feel they couldn't play the gig, I'll tell the venue we're a no go on the date and close that door and let the months of effort go to waste.
What would you do? Let it sit for a couple days until they get over themselves and reconsider or shut the door knowing it will be an uphill battle regardless?
