Hehehe, well, if you're just looking for what your first Fuzz should be, I'd suggest an inexpensive Muff or Super-Fuzz variant. If you can't decide which to go with, then why not both? You can get a Behringer SF-300 for about $30, and a Moen Fuzz Moo for about $50. Those are the cheapest way into the two basic "families" of fuzz that I know of (but that can discussion get really off into the weeds), and you can figure out if you need anything besides those later (like when the SF-300 finally breaks, it's in a plastic case).
Because if I could have only two forms of dirt, it'd be a Big Muff variant of some kind and a Super-Fuzz. Most of the suggested pedals are a variant of one of those, or a Sola Tone Bender, which is a lot like the Super-Fuzz, if not exactly related.
Apropos of nothing, I'm gonna go to Dark Lord Day at Three Floyds as part of a trip to Chicago in May! High on Fire is headlining this year! I'm not super familiar with the rest of the lineup, but it is an interesting mix. I'm flying, so five days without a bass or guitar, but I can tote a keyboard with me. I'll probably bring the Micro Freak. If anyone has anything they suggest eating while in Chicago, let me know!