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Stupidest thing you've done while being intoxicated?

#41
1SHOT1HIT said:
using neighborhood streets as a bumper car arena.
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Oh, I did that! About 30 years ago, coming home from a rehearsal of my Top-40 band, the guitarist, drummer, and I in our three separate cars, after having consumed way too much beer to make the rehearsal valuable much less get behind the wheel of an automobile...11:30PM heading west on Storrow Drive in Boston, and somehow we all spontaneously decide to play bumper cars. Definitely absolutely the stupidest thing I've ever done drunk. It's a freaking miracle no one was killed. Or even injured. Or even perturbed by the body damage to their respective vehicles, apparently.
 
#43
(20 years ago when I was young and stupid) Going home from a party, I walked out to my car, set my half-full beer on top of the car to open the door, got in and drove off. Sitting at an intersection a few minutes later, the guy in the car next to me starts waving and gesturing furiously. I roll down the window to try to figure out what the heck he wants, and he says "Dude! There's a beer on top of your car!"

Good thing the cops didn't see that.

Even better, I got home safely and did not injure anyone. Please don't drink and drive.

(edit: that was actually almost 30 years ago. damn I'm old)
 
#44
Strat-Mangler said:
I'll stick to Coke.
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You really go balls to the wall eh ;)

Here's one I can share.

Awhile back I started seeing this young lady who was very into group encounters, namely of the female ratio being higher than the male ratio type. One night she texted me very bluntly looking for company for a very specific activity. Unfortunately I had 2 20 page papers due two days from then (damn grad school) so I informed her I couldn't swing that night but I would have tons of time the next week. We agreed to postpone our core strengthening exercises until then.

Fast forward a week to Thursday night went I went out with friends to 80's night (ie cheap beer and cheap pool). One of these friends was another young lady I had been seeing for awhile who was also interested in ladies. We had discussed the possibility of a certain thing happening often but never found a friend.

After about 8 or 9 PBR pounders I recall this fact and inform my friend that my current companion enjoys female company. My friend enthusiastically agrees and I proceed to text the chick I'm seeing "I think I found us a third". Thirty minutes pass, which to my drunken self feels like 3 hours so I text "Oh not appealing to you anymore eh?"

At this point it's last call so my friend (different friend) and I walk back to our apartments and get home about an hour after leaving. At this point I remember my romantic companion's query from the previous week and text her "I'll see you tomorrow night" (but in far more specific and blunter terms).

The next morning I wake up and check my phone to see if I got any texts and spy the ones I had sent the previous night. At this point I realize I mad a grievous error.

A few weeks prior to this my friend surprised me by visiting from Korea. During his stay he was using his dad's cell phone, I never added him to my contacts so the texts just came up as the phone number in my phone. Well I also didn't add my current romantic partner's number to my contacts, instead just texting her phone number. In my drunken state I sent all of those texts to my friend's dad (who is quite homophobic and had thought for many years that my friend and I were both bi). Sadly my friend saved my number in his dad's phone so he knew exactly who they came from.

That is one of the very few times in my life I've been embarrassed.
 
#46
:hmm: I don't recall ever doing ANYTHING stupid whilst inebriated... :D

KIDDING of course. My wife once said- in all seriousness- *I don't remember passing out*

ON topic- probably going to SF to wander aimlessly/drunkenly about. Got hammered, couldn't find our ride back to Vacaville(60 miles away), dude that drove LEFT US... wandered, hitch-hiked(stupidest part I think), tried to walk home. I think I was 17- got halfway across the bay bridge when a CHP picked us up and got in touch w/my folks. The memorable part was watching the freeway lanes move around- having not ingested anything for 7-8 hours, I was hallucinating from sheer exhaustion.
 
#50
carlos840 said:
I was around 17 or 18, got really drunk with a bunch of mates and ended up sleeping on my best mates bedroom floor.
Around 8 in the morning i wake up with a furious need to throw up, knowing i was not going to make it to the bathroom i jump on his bed to make it to the window, open it and throw up something horrible!

His window was just over a conservatory in which his parents where having breakfast.

Not nice!
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I spit-taked.
 
#51
1SHOT1HIT said:
I really don't drink often, almost never.
It's just never been my thing.

So I unfortunately don't have a ton of great stories of blackouts and using neighborhood streets as a bumper car arena.


My dumbest thing kinds has a more morbid ending and honestly I know well enough today that my actions that night probably had little to do with the end result, unfortunately I'll never know and it'll always be in the back of my mind posed as a "what if" question.

As I'm sure many have seen me discuss my uncle's & his victims murder/suicide a few years back, some will also recall I discussed an evening just before his death where him my brother and I all went to Hooters for a late dinner.

Well at that dinner that evening the three of us finally talked in detail about his current situation and he showed my brother and I emails from the man that was threatening him.
Due to the alcohol that was in all of our system my brother and I both encouraged my uncle to handle the situation with violence. We both offered to arrange for this guy to have a visit from some rather unfriendly acquaintances we know, and offered to "take care" of this guy for our uncle.

Long story short, this guy was sleeping with my aunt and trying to move in on my uncles family in a very screwed up kinda way,, as if sleeping with another mans wife wasn't bad enough.
Never the less, the man had made multiple antagonizing threats towards my uncle via email and phone calls and after they were brought to our attention that night there was a huge feeling between my brother and I to "teach this guy a lesson"
Much of what was discussed that night was said in pure heat of the moment anger, and had sober minds been at work there's absolutely no doubt more creative, less violent and wittingly intelligent alternatives would have been suggested.
But as liquid courage and our toxic tough guy tonics would have it, we discussed getting this guy back.

By the middle of that week my uncle had shot the man and killed him, and then hours later turned the gun on himself. I know from certain facts in hind sight that my uncles plan was well thought out for quite a long while before that night at Hooters, however I will always question if we more or less blew the only opportunity we had to talk some sense into him, suggest other methods of dealing with his problems besides violence.
But instead, thanks to being slightly inebriated and stupid, my brother and I felt like we were showing our uncle that we cared and were willing to have his back.
We really had no way of knowing where his head really was that night and there's certainly nothing now anyone can do about it, but it will always leave me wondering if maybe he'd still be here, and maybe the guy he shot would still be with his family.
Valuable lessons were taken from this experience and never again will alcohol be the driving force to any advice giving on my part w/o the reality of the possibilities being a very real threat.


Sorry so long, I'm sure this is filled with typos, and grammatical errors.
As usual I'm typing on my phone and well sorry.
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Was your uncle an "uncle" as in Goodfellas "Uncle"?
 
#52
Not drunk. Takes a chain saw and says I wonder what it feels like to cut your finger with a chainsaw.

Judgeing by the sounds he made it hurts.




Truktek2 said:
Not me thankfully, but in college a couple of the guys went out for a few drinks. (We had a couple of hours free). The class we had next was metallurgy, and for those of you who don't know, there's a machine called a brinell hardness tester that determines how hard a metal is by taking a pintle, and under thousands of pounds of pressure, squishes the sample. Well, one of the guys decides he's going to put his finger in there and press the button. I won't tell you what happened, but I often wonder what ever became of stubby. :rollno:
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#53
rr5025 said:
You really go balls to the wall eh ;)

Here's one I can share.

Awhile back I started seeing this young lady who was very into group encounters, namely of the female ratio being higher than the male ratio type. One night she texted me very bluntly looking for company for a very specific activity. Unfortunately I had 2 20 page papers due two days from then (damn grad school) so I informed her I couldn't swing that night but I would have tons of time the next week. We agreed to postpone our core strengthening exercises until then.

Fast forward a week to Thursday night went I went out with friends to 80's night (ie cheap beer and cheap pool). One of these friends was another young lady I had been seeing for awhile who was also interested in ladies. We had discussed the possibility of a certain thing happening often but never found a friend.

After about 8 or 9 PBR pounders I recall this fact and inform my friend that my current companion enjoys female company. My friend enthusiastically agrees and I proceed to text the chick I'm seeing "I think I found us a third". Thirty minutes pass, which to my drunken self feels like 3 hours so I text "Oh not appealing to you anymore eh?"

At this point it's last call so my friend (different friend) and I walk back to our apartments and get home about an hour after leaving. At this point I remember my romantic companion's query from the previous week and text her "I'll see you tomorrow night" (but in far more specific and blunter terms).

The next morning I wake up and check my phone to see if I got any texts and spy the ones I had sent the previous night. At this point I realize I mad a grievous error.

A few weeks prior to this my friend surprised me by visiting from Korea. During his stay he was using his dad's cell phone, I never added him to my contacts so the texts just came up as the phone number in my phone. Well I also didn't add my current romantic partner's number to my contacts, instead just texting her phone number. In my drunken state I sent all of those texts to my friend's dad (who is quite homophobic and had thought for many years that my friend and I were both bi). Sadly my friend saved my number in his dad's phone so he knew exactly who they came from.

That is one of the very few times in my life I've been embarrassed.
Click to expand...

That's not too bad. How do you face your girlfriends mom after you accidentally asked her to show you her jigglies, and her response is, 'you're going to need to get me drunk first.' :eek: :D
 
#55
when younger my partying antics were almost legendary. If projectile puking had been an olympic sport. I could have been a gold medalist, and milked it for the rest of my life.

instead of designating a driver, we designated a thinker. Once someone showed the appropriate level of excessive intoxication, he could be the designated thinker. Then everyone else had to do whatever idea the thinker suggested.
I was an adrenaline junkie anyway, so add alcohol, and I would do anything. Funny thing was that I always suffered worse injuries when I was sober
 
#57
Got arrested trying to jump off a freeway overpass... if you've seen the movie Dark City, and the building-morphing craziness, well, that was the reality that eight days without sleep brought and it seemed like flopping in front of a semi would bring me back to the real world... That was a very, very vivd and memorable week that ended in five point restraints and a shot in the ass of Thorazine.
 
#59
TOOL460002 said:
Got arrested trying to jump off a freeway overpass... if you've seen the movie Dark City, and the building-morphing craziness, well, that was the reality that eight days without sleep brought and it seemed like flopping in front of a semi would bring me back to the real world... That was a very, very vivd and memorable week that ended in five point restraints and a shot in the ass of Thorazine.
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My best friend did the same thing (kinda) and fell then got hit by a car on I75...Sad!
 
#60
Dancing madly around the kitchen to Pink Floyd while cooking an insane thai curry.

All present agreed it was one of my best (and the other people round the table weren't particularly drunk) so evidently I managed to discover that I have a cooking ability spike which comes after half a pint of gin.
 

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