Suicide and those quietly considering it

[i_got_a_mohawk]

I don't claim I know because I do. I do hate myself.
Hate is a good thing those who tell you it isn't are liars you should use what you hate to push you to do things you love.

What am I doing to try and change things to be better in my life?

I'm trying to become a Medical Assistant so maybe one day I can save somebodies life and that person will go on to do something that'll save another persons life.

I am always trying to do things that'll help others. Everything I do in life is to give others who feel like they are alone and have nothing to feel wanted and not alone for feeling this way. I admit I am a bit of a walking contradiction someone fuled by hate but, wants to give hope but, this is me. I can't change who I am I've spents my entire life running from who I am I'm sick of it.

I question your friends for causing you pain and you question me for questioning your friends.

Your standing up for a person who is leaving a hole that'll never be filled again.

You need to ask yourself this: What friend would do this to me? To his familiy?

Let me tell you someone who is selfish. Life is what you make it.

I've made mine dark and I'm partly okay mostly to blame for it.

But, your friends' suicides are their doing there's nothing you or anyone can say that can deny the fact that life is what you make it.

I flunked out of college my dreams of being a childs psychologist is dead what can I do? Here's what I decided throw out the pee and make lemonade. Suicide wasn't even on the list!

So I made a decision to help people in the medical field using the skills I have to offer a Medical Assistant.
Does that sound like I'm doing enough? To caare enough about my family and friends not to cause them pain? Well I think it is.

I refuse to be a statistic people read about or hear about on the suicide hotline. I am better than those so called "victims" because instead of trying to end my life I'm trying to give others a reason to live.

Oh yeah, sure I'm not doing enough?

I said claim because it was a post on an internet board, followed by self-righteous judgement of people you don't even know. Hating yourself while making out you are better than others, yes, I said claim.

Hate can have it's place, but for the most part is counter productive. I love the search for knowledge and love what I do. Doesn't mean I hate ignorance, dislike it, yes, find it distasteful, yes, but not hate.

Helping others is a good thing, also something that you'd find most people do. Helping others also makes us feel better about ourselves. Being an MA is a great thing to do. I never went that far, though I do keep my first aid up to scratch and have used it on a couple of occasions to help people (and more than just a cut or scratch). Hopefully you'll find a more positive outlook in that line.

I question you for questioning people you didn't know. I'm not standing up for their final actions, I wish there had been another way. You started studying psychology and suffer mental problems yourself, you should know the depths and you should know that it isn't the same for everyone. You saw another way out, not everyone does, not everyone can.

I never said you weren't doing enough, I simply asked you what you did and if you were, it was your choice to presume that was some kind of attack. I'm also doubting your self hatred claim, aggression is the most evident thing from your post, but self hatred? Nah, you seem far to happy to mark yourself as better than others.

 

[i_got_a_mohawk]

All 5 are gone. It is a HUGE impact on the friends and families. All seemed to be stable. It's never easy.

**** man, sorry to hear that

When you said they were close, I didn't realise they had gone through with it.

 

[nickbass79]

**** man, sorry to hear that

When you said they were close, I didn't realise they had gone through with it.

I do hate the fact they went through with it, but I refuse to remember them with that stigma. I would rather recollect the good times we had and keep their memory alive by remembering their life while they were here. Look back but don't stare.

 

[chuck norriss]

Suicide is a moment of weakness,

I disagree: it's clear & concise, and requires commitment & steadiness.

 

[fourstringdrums]

I disagree: it's clear & concise, and requires commitment & steadiness.

I agree. You have to have a strong frame of mind to take your own life.

 

[1958Bassman]

Suicide is a moment of weakness,

And you know this, how? Have you known people who did this? Did you consider them to be weak people? Did they have major problems to deal with, or was it just a drug/booze-induced act?

It's rarely done with only a moments' thought- it's usually considered over a fair amount of time but most often, it involves not being to see a better way out of a situation.

 

[1958Bassman]

It's still too soon to see with her but she's making good progress. She had surgery, but I think it was to manage the brain swelling. I believe the bullet is still lodged in her brain.

I hope it goes well. It's never a good thing to deal with but once in a while, the outcome can be surprising.

 

[Skitch it!]

I disagree: it's clear & concise, and requires commitment & steadiness.

In the context of the original post, yes, I should have clarified that 'a moment of weakness', I meant in regard to the affects of cognitive function impaired due to the effects of a mental disorder/mental breakdown/anxiety disorder etc.

If cognitive function and perception are severely impaired/affected by those conditions and greatly distorted as a result, then choice may well be heavily biased by the effects created by that condition obviously. If it could be recognized, diagnosed, referred and given the correct treatment, that perception may well be very different to that held under the condition.

 

[Skitch it!]

And you know this, how? Have you known people who did this? Did you consider them to be weak people? Did they have major problems to deal with, or was it just a drug/booze-induced act?

It's rarely done with only a moments' thought- it's usually considered over a fair amount of time but most often, it involves not being to see a better way out of a situation.

Yes, I have known quite a few folk and friends who succumbed to perspective affected by different mental conditions. Self medication with illicit drugs and alcohol before diagnosis and treatment/clarity/self awareness is very common, I did the same, bipolar type 1. As far as weak, not at all, they were quite the contrary in fact.

 

[1SHOT1HIT]

I can see where labeling it as a moment of weakness can apply.

Maybe not weak in the sense that over the coarse of their dark moment it probably is their most well thought out and calculated act.

But in the overall picture of their lives yes it's a pretty weak moment.
I mean before they were suicidal they dealt with their turmoil in much better ways and came out okay in the end.
But the time they decide there just is no other choice they cave in and succumb to their feelings of hopelessness and desperation.
That's definitely not the strongest I think think they've been before.

I guess it depends on how you look at it.

But yes most are correct, a person committing suicide is definitely thinking things out and has been for some time. They are determined and not much if anything is going to stand in their way.

However there are so many different classifications of suicide that it's really hard to generalize any of it.
All do it for different reasons, all use different methods, and all have unique situations.

And as far as calling people who commit suicide cowards, pretty low class man.

There are ways to say things with respect and there are ways to say things that just shouldn't be said.
Who are you to call then cowards? Seems to me you and them all have something in common, you all hate life so much that you feel like its not worth living.
You said yourself you've attempted suicide but never went through with it. Who's the coward?
Youve spent your entire life miserable, fantasizing about something you don't have the balls to go through with. Who's the coward?
How disrespectful is that to say some stuff like that?
Who the hell are you to judge ANYONE you don't know?
Even if you believe it's a cowardly act or selfish or both, your talking about someone's loved one.
Have some respect and decency.
Not everyone that commits suicide does so because their too weak to face life. Some do it because they feel like they're helping other people.
They get so wrapped up into one fixation of thought and become obsessed with it until they feel that there is but only one option.
And yes whether you want to agree or not they are victims. Some are victims of life, some are victims of mental disorders, some bullying, some of chronic illness, some of heartache, some of stress, some of just a lack of will to survive etc.
Yes the family are living victims of suicide as well as victims of the leading cause behind teir loved ones decision.

This way of thinking that there can only be one victim is ridiculous. Situations like this are loaded with victims including the deceased.

It never fails in any discussion about suicide two types of people ALWAYS pop in.
Those that feel the need to insult and degrade the deceased by calling them cowards.

And the religious ones who feel compelled to make sure everyone knows their beliefs are that your loved one is currently burning eternity in hell for their actions.

Either way both pretty disgusting opinions that really should never be shared.

 

[Skitch it!]

I can see where labeling it as a moment of weakness can apply.

Maybe not weak in the sense that over the coarse of their dark moment it probably is their most well thought out and calculated act.

But in the overall picture of their lives yes it's a pretty weak moment.
I mean before they were suicidal they dealt with their turmoil in much better ways and came out okay in the end.
But the time they decide there just is no other choice they cave in and succumb to their feelings of hopelessness and desperation.
That's definitely not the strongest I think think they've been before.

I guess it depends on how you look at it.

But yes most are correct, a person committing suicide is definitely thinking things out and has been for some time. They are determined and not much if anything is going to stand in their way.

However there are so many different classifications of suicide that it's really hard to generalize any of it.
All do it for different reasons, all use different methods, and all have unique situations.

I agree, fortitude weakened to the point of planning and carrying out suicide, that under a different circumstance, could have been treated and alleviated enough to provide some clarity before enacting those plans made under extreme duress.

I also agree that the reasons for that action cannot be generalized to a large extend, for everything a different reason. I'm aware of long term cases who made several attempts before succeeding with taking their own life due to a depressive condition, and cases that were seemingly decided and enacted on the spur of the moment. Two relatively recent incidents come to mind where that decision was enacted within weeks of relationship breakdowns, without any time to recover from the effects of that situation, decisions made quickly and under extreme duress.

As for XtheDeadPawn, I do consider that his perspective would be very different if not influenced by his own condition that he has related here. For everything a reason so to speak.

 

[1958Bassman]

One of the people I knew who ended their own life wasn't the first in his family to do it, and also used a gun. His mother did the same thing less than 20 years before.

Do any of you know if this was a factor in the suicides of a friend/family/acquaintance?

 

[Skitch it!]

One of the people I knew who ended their own life wasn't the first in his family to do it, and also used a gun. His mother did the same thing less than 20 years before.

Do any of you know if this was a factor in the suicides of a friend/family/acquaintance?

Genetically inherited predisposition and environmental factors are recognized as a major aspect of many conditions in regard to mental and physical health.

 

[1SHOT1HIT]

One of the people I knew who ended their own life wasn't the first in his family to do it, and also used a gun. His mother did the same thing less than 20 years before.

Do any of you know if this was a factor in the suicides of a friend/family/acquaintance?

I knew of a guy that killed himself and I THINK his father did also when he was young.

I'm not sure though if it is true or rumor.
I didn't know this guy very well so I don't know enough about the details.
But yeah I'm pretty sure it happens often.

I sometimes worry about my oldest son, he has it on both sides.
My uncle killed himself April 19 2006 Self inflicted gunshot wound to the head.
And my sons grandfather on his moms side killed himself in 1998 same way.

I also worry about his mom, she found her father who shot himself through the roof of his mouth with a 357 and needless to say it wasn't a clean suicide.
Well 911 or the responding officers screwed up and failed somewhere along the lines, leaving my ex at 17 years old for over 1-1/2 hours with her father And his mess before she finally called a second time and got an immediate response.

My son wasn't born when my ex's father did it but his mother has shared the story with him against my wishes.

But he was alive to witness my uncles situation first hand.

The whole thing makes me very nervous about how he will handle stress in life.
He was also abused as a young child so needless to say ill have a very close eye on him as he grows.

 

[Skitch it!]

The whole thing makes me very nervous about how he will handle stress in life.
He was also abused as a young child so needless to say ill have a very close eye on him as he grows.

I'm sorry to hear of this and empathize with everyone here affected by suicide or other traumatic events.

Due to the frequent co-morbidity of mood disorders, they can be very difficult to recognize. Research and awareness with the signs and symptoms of a mood disorder is an invaluable help. If there is a medical record or history of family mood disorders evident, it also helps to be aware of that, although that in itself can be difficult. Many sufferers do not seek help for personal reasons/fear of stigma/do not recognize it as a disorder and therefore are never properly diagnosed.

Recognition is the key, unless you are aware of what you may be/or are dealing with, those issues can be exacerbated to a highly damaging degree.

 

[XtheDeadPawn]

Who are you to call then cowards? Seems to me you and them all have something in common, you all hate life so much that you feel like its not worth living.

You said yourself you've attempted suicide but never went through with it. Who's the coward?
Youve spent your entire life miserable, fantasizing about something you don't have the balls to go through with. Who's the coward?

How disrespectful is that to say some stuff like that?
Who the hell are you to judge ANYONE you don't know?
Even if you believe it's a cowardly act or selfish or both, your talking about someone's loved one.
Have some respect and decency.
And yes whether you want to agree or not they are victims. Some are victims of life, some are victims of mental disorders, some bullying, some of chronic illness, some of heartache, some of stress, some of just a lack of will to survive etc.
.

Those that feel the need to insult and degrade the deceased by calling them cowards.

Either way both pretty disgusting opinions that really should never be shared.

Ones a victim only if they look at it that way. Suicide as others have pointed out takes planing and the desire to end it all. I stated I almost took my own life so I feel I can serve as a a judge for lack of a better term to these so called victims. I find them as cowards because I see their death as a cheap way out. Suicide causes pain it leaves broken hearts and I have no sympathy for these victims only those they left behind.

If you do good than for you I admit your a better human being than I am but, from how I view humanity that isn't saying much. It just means too me anyways that you feel sorry for fools. I for one have never felt sorry for those who hurt themselves on purpose I'd advise you to do the same however, it appears by your post you find my advice disgusting. Don't worry I find tomatoes disgusting.

As for your belief that the cowards are victims here's a newsflash we're all victims IF WE CHOOSE TO BE. I suffer from mental disorders so many in fact that I'm declared "Mentaly handicapped" aka "Mentally ********". Instead of going to trade school to make something of myself I could say "Oh, I failed at college silly me I should have known a mentally ******** person couldn't be a Doctor oh, well guess I'll collect wellfare for the rest of my life." No you see I expect more from myself and I don't expect a ounce less from anyother human being who suffers from mental disorders either.

My rule on the victim thing is we all got problems. I don't feel sorry for you if you commit suicide because you couldn't find the intestinal fortitude to pull through them (your problems).

Also I do not consider myself a coward because yes I did try to end my own life but, I didn't because I even at 11 or 12 had more b@LL$ than most adults I've met in life. I refuse to be a statistic as I said and your right just like them I hate the world and at times think about ending it all but, I never do. That isn't because I'm a chicken that's because I have more respect for my parents than to put them through burying their son. I'm not coward you see because while they yell I QUIT I yell out to life IS THAT THE BEST YOU GOT?

I judge the people I don't know because I almost commited suicide and you wanna know what goes through someones mind before they attempt it "LIFE ISN'T WORTH IT"

You proabaly never even attempted it yourself so let those who almost did judge those that did.

You wanna call me a coward go ahead.

But, answer me this who is the real coward a person who ended their life or a person that almost did and made himself better because of it?

If you can answer that and still call me a coward I'll give my psychatrists' number to ya'.

 

[sandmangeck]

What about people with terminal illness?

 

[XtheDeadPawn]

That isn't suicide that's Youthanasia.

Old Roman word for "Good Death" those people are still cowards to me but, what they commit isn't called suicide should be though because that's essentially what it is.

You wanna hear a man facing death hear the Lecture of a famous professor the Last lecture on Youtube. That guy faced death with joy and prepared his wife and kids for his passing and to top it off he inspired many with his courage. If anybody could have been a statstic he by all means could have been. He wasn't though. Neither am I.

 

[musicman281]

*Yesterday, someone I knew from my hometown ended his own life, back in February an old school friend also took his life, the place only has a population of about 8,000.

Both guys were always outwardly happy and upbeat, but clearly something wasn't right deep down.

So if you are feeling that way, be honest, don't cover it up and talk to someone.

I know how you feel my best friend and band mate shot himself in March. Nobody knew anything was bothering him.

It happened about a half hour after rehearsal and 5 minutes before it happened he texted me and the rest of the band saying he loved us and gonna miss us. We all freaked out (btw all of us were living together but him)

We all immediately drove to his house but it was too late the ambulance was already there That 10 minutes will stick with me along with this question: we didn't he talk to anybody, for as long as i live

 

[1958Bassman]

Genetically inherited predisposition and environmental factors are recognized as a major aspect of many conditions in regard to mental and physical health.

I was asking for anecdotal replies, not something that reads like it came from a book, as most of your comments in this thread do. Have you known someone who did this?