The "I'm a bonehead" thread.

[Thor]

http://www.shianews.com/hi/americas/news_id/0000107.php

Takes two to do the cello tango
That is priceless!

Who says that the plank boys are the only stupid ones ...

 

[Bob Lee (QSC)]

There is a yearly party in the Black Rock Desert (Nevada) that some friends throw, and my band plays at. I was going out to the spot to meet everyone and set up a little later than the rest. I didn't have the info on where it is, but I figured I could find it. The black rock is about 8 miles by 35 miles, all flat. I drove a couple hours out there, got onto the desert, couldn't find it. Started doing a search pattern type thing, couldn't find it. Running out of gas, sun going down, me getting pretty pissed (at me!). I headed for home. Apparently, right after sundown, they started shooting off fireworks and flares as part of the fun. 10 minutes makes all the difference sometimes.

You're not talking about Burning Man, are you?

Before they started putting up a perimeter fence around Black Rock City (the Burning Man encampment), some people used to go wandering out onto the playa and, to their surprise, got lost. It is a dry lake bed, and extremely flat except for the curvature of the earth. When you get out a few miles from BRC, the curvature can be enough to obscure your view of all but the tallest structures. Combining that effect with the heated playa surface bending light, as in a mirage, BRC can become invisible, making it difficult to find one's way back.

 

[Flanders]

You're not talking about Burning Man, are you?

Before they started putting up a perimeter fence around Black Rock City (the Burning Man encampment), some people used to go wandering out onto the playa and, to their surprise, got lost. It is a dry lake bed, and extremely flat except for the curvature of the earth. When you get out a few miles from BRC, the curvature can be enough to obscure your view of all but the tallest structures. Combining that effect with the heated playa surface bending light, as in a mirage, BRC can become invisible, making it difficult to find one's way back.

Same desert, not burning man (although, I go to BM every year) This is an anniversary party in June for some friends that got married out there and throw themselves a big party every year. It's a good time, except when you can't find the damn thing. To make it even more boneheaded on my part, they go to the same spot every year......

 

[miccheck1516]

This one takes the cake. My cake, anyway.

Turns out the $3.5 million Stradivarius cello that was recently stolen in Los Angeles was swiped by a guy riding a bike through the cellist's neighborhood in the early morning. How is that possible? Because the cellist left it sitting on his porch overnight.

I have to say it again because it's so boneheaded: the cellist left a Stradivarius cello sitting on his porch overnight.

-M

You'd need to be a bonehead to spend $3.5M on a cello.

 

[mycranium]

You'd need to be a bonehead to spend $3.5M on a cello.

The question is, how does a bonehead get that much money?

In this case, the LA Philharmonic owns the intrument, the cellist just gets to... um... take care of it.

-M

 

[Gia]

You'd need to be a bonehead to spend $3.5M on a cello.

you obviously aren't a cello/violin player

 

[Stephen S]

The head butting the cap incident actually made me laugh out loud.

If you knew me, you'd know I'm a bonehead in the purest sense of the word. I do soo many stupid things everyday that it is hard to pick which ones to post about.

The most recent ones had to be the following:

1) My band is currently working on it's demo, and we do all the recording at my house. Well, on wednesday the drummer came over to do the last 2 drum tracks, and we miced everything, hooked everything up, I tested the some levels coming out of the mixer, all sounded well. I then ran it to the recorder. He counted off, I hit record, he records two flawless drums tracks. Begins packing his stuff up, and I realize I forgot to turn up the input on the recorder, so we had a little under ten minutes of recorded silence.

2)I'm currently working on Chromatic Fantasy. I have been working on it, off and on, for about 5 months. Well Thursday night I'm working on it, and I came to a high E, one step above my basses range which is D#, I began to panic, and I wanted to cry, I was so frustrated, angry, all around messed up. So I just played that E an octave lower, and all was well.

EDIT: It wasn't untill I made this post that I realized I was playing everything an octave too high anyway.

 

[Hategear]

I actually had to stifle a scream when I read that.

For some reason, I had no indication that I was using bleach to clean my bum (no burning, itching, irritation). Maybe I've developed a callous "down there."

Ewwwww!

 

[Lloyd Christmas]

Got out of the shower, threw my towel in the sink and spit on the floor.

 

[Smokey]

I put the cereal in the fridge this morning, put the milk in the cupboard, before i smacked my head and switched them.

 

[Gabu]

yes, and i conclusivly did not spend 5 minutes shouting at my friends for stealing my vodka, when i was holding it in my other hand.

"I"?? What did you do with your other self?

 

[Mike Money]

I was sitting at lunch, and noticed that my girlfriend was wearing Laura's wooden sandles...

So I said "Hey, why are you wearing wooden shoes? Are you dutch or something?"

"Mike, shut up!"

"What? It is not like there is anyone here to offend!"

Then she pointed at Jennifer and said that she was born in Germany...

So since it was jennifer, i disregarded and continued to ridicule the dutch, and I was still being told to shut up.

Then I caught on.

Our german foreign exchange student was right acrossed the table. (I didn't even know we had foreign exchange students.)

So then I said "But, the dutch are very beautiful people and have great cheese."

Then I left.

 

[BIg O]

OK, so I thought this thread was about everyday life - I must be a terminal bonehead:

1.) Lose glasses - at least once a month I arive at work, think I've left my glasses at home, drive home, and then find them in a pocket, on the seat of my car, etc...

2.) Lost Wallet - I once left my wallet in a restaurant after lunch, not realizing it was missing until the next afternoon when I stopped for gas and couldn't find the wallet. After negotiating with the gas station attendant that he would get paid eventually, I went back to the office to rethink when I had last used my wallet. Took about an hour to remember the restaurant - called them and they still had it - hadn't called me because the only phone numbers they found were long distance...

3.) Leave instrument on porch - earlier this year, the morning after a gig which ended at 2AM, I got up, had breakfast and then opened the front door to go grocery shopping - there was my F Bass Gig bag with my new custom BN5 sitting on the porch. Fortunately the rain that fell all night didn't penetrate the bag!

4.) My keys, my keys - who the f*** took my keys this time - oh yeah, there they are in the ignition....

5.) I have 3 daughters ages 14, 18 and 20. They all look very different. I only use the wrong name with them about 40% of the time - that's not so bad is it?

6.) I've been playing this tune for 2 years, almost every gig - why this time did I think the head started on the 5?

etc, etc, etc....Welcome to my bonehead life!

 

[mycranium]

you obviously aren't a cello/violin player

IMO, you could get an instrument that sounds as good as a Strad for about $100,000. Beyond that, I think you're just paying for the brand name.

-M

 

[Erlendur Már]

I was in Norway to see Red Hot Chili Peppers and Mars Volta and decided to check out a record store. I saw Deltron 3030 and decided to buy it. I handed over the cd and money, walked out the door and the salesperson ran after me with the change and the cd.

I do stupid things everyday. But this was just on the top of my head.

 

[bloodandwhiskey]

ok this has nothing to do wiht music at all but it happened at a concert. i ran into a firend i haven't seen in roughly 8 months at a concert last thursday and i worked up the crouge to ask her for her email so we could stay in touch and 5 mintues after talking to her i forgot it, form now on i'm going to carry a pen and a small note pad with me where ever i go.

you may start laughing now

 

[Matthew Bryson]

I was sitting at lunch, and noticed that my girlfriend was wearing Laura's wooden sandles...

So I said "Hey, why are you wearing wooden shoes? Are you dutch or something?"

"Mike, shut up!"

"What? It is not like there is anyone here to offend!"

Then she pointed at Jennifer and said that she was born in Germany...

So since it was jennifer, i disregarded and continued to ridicule the dutch, and I was still being told to shut up.

Then I caught on.

Our german foreign exchange student was right acrossed the table. (I didn't even know we had foreign exchange students.)

So then I said "But, the dutch are very beautiful people and have great cheese."

Then I left.

Is there some reason that it would be considered taboo to mention the Dutch and wooden shoes to a German person? I don't get it?

 

[Stephen S]

That is punk rock yo, lay off the Mary J.

 

[Tom Crofts]

Last week I conducted a certain capacitor experiment on my '74 J. I came to the conclusion I liked it better the way I had it originally. Took me a couple hours of soldering, wiring, and tone testing.

Today I read a post of mine from January of this year. In that post I detail having done the same experiment and having come to the same conclusion.

Even after reading it, I still have no recollection of having done it before.

The only logical explanation is that the first time I was posting from the future.

You win.

 

[Frank Martin]

You people are funny.

I am King Bonehead. Fortunately there aren't often witnesses to my amazing feats of stupidity.

Ok, ok, me too I am, but like Fuzz, it rarely gets witnessed