The Top Ten Things I Learned From Talkbass

[Bodeanly]

1. It is okay to put a Fender waterslide on anything, as long as you are only doing it to increase resale value.
2. Real bassists never use a pick.
3. When you play punk rock, you do not need to have good timing.
4. Active basses are pointless.
5. All band members should be roughly the same age.
6. Nobody can tell the difference between tube and solid state.
7. Everyone uses flats.
8. No one uses flats.
9. Everyone knows what bi-amp means.
10. If you have zero stage presence, hide behind your music stand.

 

[Eric66]

The no.1 pedal for bass players is a volume pedal in the signal cable of the guitar player.

 

[MegaSwing]

What I learned from TB:

1) Have no reservations about deconstructing and re-assembling these things until you understand them (or at least until you get one you really like).

2) The most important tool in your kit is a ruler.

 

[Nev375]

7. "Which strap-lock system do you use" is a contentious topic.

The amount of rabid passion and zeal for a persons preference in bass part is reversely proportional to the importance of that part.

This is known as the Law of Anti-Necessity Emotional Rationale.

Pickguards ........................Least Important, Most Zealotry.
Straplocks
Body (tone wood)
Fingerboard wood
Bridge (mass)
Capacitor
Pot
Jack
Frets
Pickups
Tuners
Neck ..............................Most Important, Least Zealotry

(For the purpose of this law, Strings are considered a separate entity)
Also... People will argue over the precise order of the list because people are stupid.

 

[neckdive]

1. If you're at a jam and don't know what to play, just start slapping. Everyone will think you know the song but are just choosing to play it much cooler.

2. When trying out a bass in GC, apply rule 1 above.

 

[Pyrat]

Be happy. Glad for this gift of wisdom...good AND bad information. Since the beginning we had to learn from grumpy old players who had lost their way and thems' that had found it and spoke from a mountain. We now have a forum to speak...hopefully from our hearts. Just PLAY. Play from down deep and let your music be heard. That's the story...oh, and humour...please have some. Much love and God Bless~

 

[Michael B]

10. Don't contradict a luthier
9. There may be 2 or more correct POVs but not yours
8. Originals are a waste of time
7. Cover bands are the only bands worth your time and better than getting signed
6. Lead Singers are all drunk devas
5. Guitarists think they are God's gift to music and mankind
6. Bassists make better singers than lead vocalists
5. Drummers don't play well until bassist buys a better amp
4. Fender P's are the best
3. Fender J's are the best
2. Fender is overrated
1. Sarcasm doesn't come across in a forum
0. I am the only one that thinks Torts, 50s pastel car colors and artificial relicing make your instrument look old and blah. (See #9)

 

[MJ_Sotti]

it doesn't matter that Adam Clayton, Duff, the goofs from blink 182 and greenday suck...they're in successful bands and I'm in a bar band so I'M the one who really sucks even though they only know 3 or 4 notes

oh and...there are these things called "P", "J" and "PJ" basses. Back when men were men and sheep were scared there were these strange species of electric basses (now extinct) called "Precision", "Jazz" and "Jazz with a Precision pickup on it".

Only the rare Telecasterus Bassius was allowed to be called a nickname, that being "Telly".

All reissues were made in a evil scientist's lab.


You can't play upright bass in a "Americana" band without a lumberjack beard, flannel shirt and a pair of bib overalls. If you do, you'll forget the 3 notes you learned.

 

[Spectrum]

Guitar Center is always closing soon, and has been for many years, now.

 

[Jay2U]

Number 0 on the list:
GAS is a perfectly normal phenomenon. Intelligence and musical exceptionality inevitably cause GAS.

 

[Slevage]

Fender is the best geetar maker, no matter what.

What do you think of their basses? ( see OP #9)

 

[gln1955]

No matter how good or bad a Fender bass was coming out of the factory, after thirty years it magically transforms into a portal for tone from the heavens that practically plays itself.

 

[Humbled]

8. A wider strap is the #1 cure for a sore back.

 

[BurningTheAltar]

This....

...and this

Are easily confused.

 

[FrenchBassQC]

And that lots of people can't spell Squier...

 

[Slinger]

People here don't take the p*ss out of your bass just because it's short.

 

[leonard]

An active 24 fret lefty Ibanez is confusing!

 

[Killer Canary]

I see everything twice!

 

[Humbled]

I see everything twice!

Maybe cut back a little bit ?

 

[Killer Canary]

Smokestoomuch?