The Top Ten Things I Learned From Talkbass

[Humbled]

Who you callin' a maroon?

Reported.

 

[Humbled]

4. Shortscale basses are the awesome-est.

 

[leonard]

tortbass.com

 

[Humbled]

5. I Like Big Hair.

...umm... hope this is OK with you, JWF...

 

[leonard]

11. who gets lemmy's basses?


12. why is nobody banned?

 

[Humbled]

6. Rics usually have four strings, and should be black.

 

[Danomo]

Here's my list:

10) There seems no middle ground: You drink/smoke/422 too much... or not enough.

9) Stay away from #10 themed threads, except to watch in morbid fascination.

8) Having mid level gear gets your opinion ignored on love/hate threads for expensive/cheap basses.

7) Conversely, posting pics of same mid level gear gets you likes from the most surprising folks in "show your ---" threads.

6) Even if your gigging days are long past, most folks here feel your gigging advice is still pertinent.

5) You are more likely to get picked apart for your amp & pedals, than your bass.

4) If you find something funny (that's not an insult), it's ALWAYS best to post it, even if it derails a thread. It usually stops things from becoming too serious.

3) Strings: Your choice of strings in one thread will be cursed, and a month later will be worshipped equally in another thread.

2) While spelling and grammar are (for the most part) out the door here, you'd better spell Lakland, Squier, and Fodera correctly.

1) It's still one of the best bass resources on the innerwebs.

 

[carl h.]

12. Your bass lines will lack soul of you know music theory.

13. Your performance lacks energy and passion if you use a music stand to hold music that you can read.

14. A HLF 410 is louder than a HE410, except it isn't, except it is, but not really.

 

[Nev375]

What do you use? Please describe your rig.

<--- as seen in Avatar:

$200 Squier Jaguar bass with $1000 of upgrade parts including Bart pups, badass bridge, graphite fan fretted neck, Hipshot detuner etc...
---> Fender Sublime ---> Kern IP-777 tube pre ---> Boss SE-70 Multifx (w/custom purple Mission expression pedal)
---> SWR Amplite Power amp
---> Hartke 112 Hydrive (for gigs)
or ... Hartke 410XL (for studio work)
or ... Ampeg PR1832HE 1200w [118+210+2x6.5+tweeter cab] "the Victor Wooten cab" (for bedroom practice and cat scratching post)

...By the way, that's not a joke, that's my actual rig and how I use it.

It's hardly relevant though. I don't even play metal. I play Jazz-free Fusion!
... It's just like Jazz Fusion but without all the horrible Jazz in it.

 

[toddbooster]

No one in America ever seems to run the bass through the PA.

Also, some people think short pants are a no no. Others wear them defiantly on stage.

 

[Metalbasspro]

Metal players can't play and they can never be anywhere near pro level.

 

[Mantis Tobaggan]

No one in the band knows anything and it is up to the bass player to explain things like music theory and sonic space.

Sound guys and engineers spend zero time on bass tone. You have to do it yourself and fight everyone if necessary.

We have the hardest and most important job all the time.

You do not have enough bass guitars until you have at least eight, including a fretless jazz bass and of course a p-bass with a tort pickguard and flats.

Real bass players can read sheet music and smile while playing and also singing along.

If you get married, you will have to lie and be very sneaky about buying bass guitars.

Someday i will retire and have a pile of bass guitars in my man cave and play in a church band.

 

[interp]

Arguing semantics is ALWAYS a good reason for a thread derail….

You should have put three dots, not four, at the end of this post.

 

[Nev375]

I learned that despite what my history teacher said, the Nazis were never defeated at the end of WWII.
They just became grammar enthusiasts. And frankly, I think that's a good thing. The internet needs better grammar.

Also, I've learned from other websites (because politics isn't allowed here):
Almost every successful politician, regardless of their party, turns out to be a Nazi according to someone!
If Ghandi or Mother Theresa were alive today, I'm sure someone would reveal them to be Nazis too!

So congratulations all you Nazis for turning things around and finding a productive place in modern society.
Way to go! Kudos.

 

[BigBobbyBass]

I learned that despite what my history teacher said, the Nazis were never defeated at the end of WWII.
They just became grammar enthusiasts. And frankly, I think that's a good thing. The internet needs better grammar.

Also, I've learned from other websites (because politics isn't allowed here):
Almost every successful politician, regardless of their party, turns out to be a Nazi according to someone!
If Ghandi or Mother Theresa were alive today, I'm sure someone would reveal them to be Nazis too!

So congratulations all you Nazis for turning things around and finding a productive place in modern society.
Way to go! Kudos.

I know you're joking... But Ghandi was a hardcore racist and a child molester to boot..

 

[Need Gigs]

Tortloaf and carrots are a match made in heaven.
Off Topic is an interesting place for a holiday but I wouldn't want to live there

 

[Humbled]

I know you're joking... But Ghandi was a hardcore racist and a child molester to boot..

Two dots after boot ? What's up with that?

 

[tifan]

Rule #501: Why pruufrede?

 

[knumbskull]

I'll never forget someone on here arguing that inflation doesn't exist. Great trolling.

I did genuinely learn something about starved plate tube circuits... But I forgot it.

Stupid brain!

 

[bassdude51]

The top 10 things that I've learned on TalkBass since I joined?

Great place to troll.
A place to buy and sell.
A great place to waste time.
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