I think I see your point. Yes, it does seem often that the lead singer, guitarist, other instrumentalists, and even the audience DON'T seem to notice the bass. They would notice it if it wasn't there (as many have already said). The problem is that if you play too much or don't play enough, they'll simply replace you with a bassist who does what they believe a bassist is supposed to do.I've been playing bass now for 15 years. Though in my later years, I've been playing a lot more guitar. Recently, I've been picking it back up for this or that project. Maybe this isn't a new realization, but it is for me. After all my years practicing scales, watching videos on slapping, tapping, harmonics, developing speed etc, essentially trying to be like all my bass heroes.
In the end no one cares. Unless you're in a prog or funk band. Most people do not care about the bass. Keep time, with the root, toss in a fill here and there but most of the time, just stay out of the way. In fact, if you're paired with a prideful guitar player, they'll will actually resent your skill, taking the spotlight where it doesn't belong.
It kind of sucks because I feel like a wasted a lot of time. I can do a lot of cool stuff on the bass and it took me a long time to be able to do them. In the end, it doesn't really matter.
If you want your bass playing to be appreciated by someone other than the other bass players, you have to do a few things.
1) Play in a genre that values the bass line. Prog Rock and Funk are not the only "open-minded" genres; however, Country and Blues are probably NOT the place to be if you want artistic freedom on the bass.
2) It's not enough to know HOW to do lots of cool things on the bass. You have to know WHEN and WHERE to do them. Above all else, you must make the music FEEL GOOD. You absolutely MUST be groovy no matter what genre or song you're playing. Usually, it doesn't take much embellishment on a bass to make the mood of the music change. You can make it sinister or sexy or cool simply by which notes you select when (you know this already).
3) If you play live, have some stage presence. Make yourself a character that the audience will remember...someone they feel they "know" (like Bootsy or Flea but you don't have to be that extreme--just examples of memorable characters). Move around and interact with the audience. Make some eye contact and some non-verbal communication...in essence, PUT ON A SHOW! If the frontman can't deal with you having ANY character then you simply need to change bands. Don't waste your time with no-talent hacks and cowards. You don't have to upstage the frontman but you also don't have to be like Entwistle. You're a performer--perform. The guy at the party who sits by himself with a beer doesn't go home with a girl, doesn't have fun, doesn't get remembered, doesn't get invited to the next party. He's soon forgotten. If you don't want to be forgotten then Invalid Link Removed. If you are someone the audience likes and looks forward to seeing, it won't be long before they start screaming for a BASS SOLO during your shows...the frontman can't do a damned thing about that, can he?
Last week a friend of mine who's played guitar for over a decade and decided to buy a cheapo little bass at a pawn shop was talking to me in the grocery store and said, "Well if you can play guitar, you can play bass." That's the attitude that many...TOO MANY people have. The bass has the 4 lowest strings that the guitar has so they assume that it's the same but easier and is only supposed to play the basic, roots and stuff. Leo Fender both blessed us and cursed us at the same time. If you were to go back in history and put a double bass next to a spanish guitar, no one would automatically assume that they're the same. Fender meant to help bassists, which he did, but in the process he also kind of cheapened our instrument in the eyes of the world. Truth is the bass is a different instrument than guitar just like the drums and the piano are. They aren't the same and being a guitarist doesn't mean someone understands the bass. The bass is unique in the band...there's usually only one and it sounds different than the other instruments. Embrace that and make it noticed as being unique...and make YOURSELF noticed as being unique on the bass.
So in the end, does it matter?
I don't know...do you MAKE it matter?

