They fired me.

[XCincyBassMan]

I've e-mailed some of those people with the news that I won't be there. The word will go around. Like with your ex-guitarist, I'm sure the two stories of what happened will be markedly different, so I told the fans closest to me what happened from my POV.

I also told the people at the ice house. Had to. Hubby was already there, ranting about it and making some pretty nasty comments, so I figured a calm relation of the tale was in order. I also told the drummer that the people there know about this, so he wouldn't be shocked or upset and think I went behind his back.

It was good to able to tell him, "I've got a gig on Friday already." Lets him know I won't spend any time at home crying over this! He seemed pleased...he must feel "off the hook" for this. Whatever. No skin off my nose! While they are at their gig, having to field questions from shocked fans, I will be at my new gig, making new fans and having a new experience.

Cherie

I am sooo glad things have suddenly taken off!! (I knew it ) It's like the flood gates opend up! I'm sure you felt pretty good tellin' the old drummer about the Friday gig! kind of like a great weight has been lifted...

Good for you! I know you'll keep us all posted on your new projects...

Russ

 

[buckminster]

I ran into a somewhat similar problem about two years ago. I was hired to be the "full time" bassist for a local band that had had some moderate success. Mostly low paying local gigs, but some choice gigs out of town - rooms, food, booze, party favors , and good pay ($200-300/night).

What I failed to realize is that they had a revolving door of bassists since the original bassist left. They had a "go-to" guy, but he would often bail for more high profile gigs and leave them to find a sub. I was under the impression that this guy was out of the picture, as the band leader told me that they wanted someone full time and that I had all of the gigs on the calendar for the foreseeable future.

So I bust my ass and try to learn all of the tunes - they had a ton. I had to transcribe most of the chord charts during rehearsals. We get to my first gigs, and I'm still using charts because there are so many songs and just not enough time to get them all down, but I had a good feel for most of the stuff. The problem comes when the band leader doesn't want to write down set lists. He gets the idea in his head that he's some sort of conductor - dude you're in a jam band, not Count Basie's orchestra - and he wants to call everything out on the spot. He would call out a song and then start immediately, so that if it was a song that I still needed a chart for, I'd be scrambling through my charts to get to it.

The first gig I got through O.K., because the tunes were simple and I didn't need the charts too much. The second gig went O.K. as far as I was concerned, but after that he said he wanted to use someone else for the next gig. He said my tone was bad, my time was bad, and that I didn't have the tunes down well enough. He said he had a "reputation to uphold" and insinuated that my playing was so bad that it would put the band's future in jeopardy. Well, I had some friends, including fellow bassists, in the house that night and they said my tone was great and the band sounded good.

What it all came down to was the fact that the drummer was pissed at the "go-to" bassist because they were friends. He wanted the "go-to" guy back in the band, but he was too busy going off and playing the higher profile gigs.

Because the band leader told me he was using someone else for the upcoming gig, I fired myself. I had a bunch of people coming to the upcoming gig - friends, coworkers, etc. Extremely embarrassing. He handled it poorly. If I had known they were just giving me a go to see how it worked out for the first couple of gigs, that would have been fine. But he had led me to believe that I was the bass player. Period. No subs. I could have continued with the band, but I wasn't about to let him boot me off of a gig any time because he felt that I wasn't up to snuff.

 

[john_g]

Jeez, and all I got when I left a band on here was...buck up Johnny! Just kidding. Its actually very cool to get the support we do on this forum.

And, I had the bait-and-switch happen to me years ago. I was the youngest member of a band that...ahem..."was going places". And when I finally stopped being led around by the nose and questioned some of the brain-trusts decisions, I got the "practice is canceled because of...uh...lightning. Yeah, lightning, that'll work" shtick. Of course I knew better...(there wasnt a cloud in the sky...)

Good luck, it sounds like you are already hitting the ground running.

 

[Basseroni]

They feel that I need a *lot* of improvement as a bassist. That I don't put in enough fills, and I don't know how to play chords like their old bassist did, and yada yada.

Yeah. Ok. I don't see them taking regular lessons, and they have plenty of room for improvement, too.

Honestly, I think they just used that one as an excuse to get rid of me. The new bassist is male. The Queen Bee won't be threatened by another female who can play and sing being on the same stage as her, anymore.

Cherie :scowl:

From your initial post it appeared that the drummer was pretty upfront with you and didn't lie to you at all. He said that you not being able to do a ten-day or more tour, requesting a sub for 7/4, and not taking more lessons is not acceptable so you had to be replaced. The part about grooming the bass player behind your back is messed up and it appeared to be their way of protecting your feelings while possibly "toying" with the idea of replacing you before they actually did it. Is it fair? No. But there is no such thing as fair in this industry. ESPECIALLY, if you're a female musician.

You have to use this experience to be honest with yourself as well. While they obviously feel that you were standing in the way of progress they were standing in the way of yours. He did you a favor by replacing you because now you are free to get into other situations where not only you are more appreciated but where you will grow more as a musician.

Unfortunately, we as female musicians have to work a lot harder to prove ourselves in this male-dominated music industry so any situation that you can get yourself into that can help you grow will only be to your benefit. For example, I don't know about your practicing habits but I would practice everyday and continue to challenge yourself by learning music that is very difficult for you. It really doesn't matter where you are as a musician. You can have the chops of Tal Wilkenfeld, Marcus Miller, etc. but you never stop growing. There is ALWAYS room for improvement.

Also, I would not limit myself to one band. Try to become a freelancing bassist as well--playing for anyone that calls you. This way you could make more money, have more flexibility to turn down gigs when it conflicts when your other plans, and reap the rewards by growing from different musical situations.

I wish you GREAT LUCK in your musical endeavors and consider your dismissal from your former band a blessing while using the experience you gained in that situation to move forward.

 

[txbasschik]

Yep. You, and plenty of others, did tell me so. So did my hubby's lead guitarist, who used to be in CW. I just finished writing him a "You Were Right All Along" e-mail.

And so were you, and everyone else. That couple never did really include me as an equal. They only pretended to until they could replace me.

They tried to say that they were just training the guy for a sub position, and decided they wanted to keep him. But, if that were truly the case, they would not have had to lie to me. They would have said that practice was cancelled because they were training a new sub. But they lied. They intended to replace me all along.

Y'all were all utterly right.

I PROMISE I will *never* rejoin that band! I will never be available to sub, either. "Nope...I got a gig." "Nope...family night." "Nope...date with the hubby." "Nope. I gotta wash my hair!"

I'd rather clean a moldy bathroom, or wash out garbage cans, or clean the cat box, than sub for them.

Cherie

 

[Bassic83]

I'd rather clean a moldy bathroom, or wash out garbage cans, or clean the cat box, than sub for them.

Cherie

Why didn't you say so? I got some work for you at my house! ...I pay decent, and I won't sub you out behind your back!

 

[Blah114]

The thing they did most wrong was lie about rehearsals.. I believe that is really the thing they did wrong.. If a band does not find a person worthy to be in it.. then they need be upfront about it rather than lying about it. I would think an ax was "grinded" for other reasons.. like the singer being a drama queen.. I have seen over the years too many factions.. too many backstabbing.. and that's not just in bands (seems worse with musicians, imo).. Good luck to you. You truly are better off without people like that, irregardless of where/when they are playing.

Comically, there are so many bands needing bass players, you will land a job likely by the time I post this. Stories like the above are ones to which I can relate.. not because of my playing ability.. just because bands wanted a change of pace.. from bassists to drummers.. all it takes is one person's opinion and then a scapegoat mentality. Unfortunately, we all have to sift through that type of stuff to find REAL friends, bands, and all else in life ("take the good with the bad"). Best to you.

 

[txbasschik]

From your initial post it appeared that the drummer was pretty upfront with you and didn't lie to you at all. He said that you not being able to do a ten-day or more tour, requesting a sub for 7/4, and not taking more lessons is not acceptable so you had to be replaced. The part about grooming the bass player behind your back is messed up and it appeared to be their way of protecting your feelings while possibly "toying" with the idea of replacing you before they actually did it. Is it fair? No. But there is no such thing as fair in this industry. ESPECIALLY, if you're a female musician.

You have to use this experience to be honest with yourself as well. While they obviously feel that you were standing in the way of progress they were standing in the way of yours. He did you a favor by replacing you because now you are free to get into other situations where not only you are more appreciated but where you will grow more as a musician.

Unfortunately, we as female musicians have to work a lot harder to prove ourselves in this male-dominated music industry so any situation that you can get yourself into that can help you grow will only be to your benefit. For example, I don't know about your practicing habits but I would practice everyday and continue to challenge yourself by learning music that is very difficult for you. It really doesn't matter where you are as a musician. You can have the chops of Tal Wilkenfeld, Marcus Miller, etc. but you never stop growing. There is ALWAYS room for improvement.

Also, I would not limit myself to one band. Try to become a freelancing bassist as well--playing for anyone that calls you. This way you could make more money, have more flexibility to turn down gigs when it conflicts when your other plans, and reap the rewards by growing from different musical situations.

I wish you GREAT LUCK in your musical endeavors and consider your dismissal from your former band a blessing while using the experience you gained in that situation to move forward.

Oh, I hate it when I make a long post, then edit it, and then the danged forum times me out!!!

I had this whole big thang. Shoot.

Cherie

 

[txbasschik]

The thing they did most wrong was lie about rehearsals.. I believe that is really the thing they did wrong.. If a band does not find a person worthy to be in it.. then they need be upfront about it rather than lying about it. I would think an ax was "grinded" for other reasons.. like the singer being a drama queen.. I have seen over the years too many factions.. too many backstabbing.. and that's not just in bands (seems worse with musicians, imo).. Good luck to you. You truly are better off without people like that, irregardless of where/when they are playing.

Comically, there are so many bands needing bass players, you will land a job likely by the time I post this. Stories like the above are ones to which I can relate.. not because of my playing ability.. just because bands wanted a change of pace.. from bassists to drummers.. all it takes is one person's opinion and then a scapegoat mentality. Unfortunately, we all have to sift through that type of stuff to find REAL friends, bands, and all else in life ("take the good with the bad"). Best to you.

Exactly. If they'd been honest with me, it would be much easier for me to see them at the bar and think "these are my friends". That's going to be very difficult, now.

I had to fire a friend from a band once. She was a percussionist. She didn't practice, she ran off drummers because she threw them off the groove, and she had become very confrontational.

The band voted, 4-2, to let her go. Since she was my friend, they appointed me to fire her.

I could have just e-mailed her, or phoned her, or found a replacement behind her back. That would have been the easy way.

But also, the dishonorable way to treat a friend!

So...I fired her to her face, as kindly as possible, but direct. She was really mad, and it was one of the most awful things I have ever had to do. I didn't want to hurt my friend, but I knew it would hurt more if I didn't face her.

But, she *respected* the fact that I came to her face-to-face. Honor and honesty, even in the face of doing the hard thing, counts for a great deal. We are still the best of friends!

I wish my old band had treated me with honor. It would be much easier to remain friends, that way.

Cherie

 

[txbasschik]

I am sooo glad things have suddenly taken off!! (I knew it ) It's like the flood gates opend up! I'm sure you felt pretty good tellin' the old drummer about the Friday gig! kind of like a great weight has been lifted...

Good for you! I know you'll keep us all posted on your new projects...

Russ

I knew things would be ok when that gig just fell into my lap like a ripe peach falls off the tree. It was like, "Oh, here's the opportunity you thought you lost, right here, ready for you!" And so FAST!!! Things will be ok now.

My husband did a not-nice thing. Its really very funny...but not-nice. I had nothing to do with it. No really, I SWEAR!!!

He works across the street from where they're playing. He rearranged the letters on the marquee sign. It now announces...

Jud & The Crow Heels.

Ooooooooooh, he's a baaaaaad boy!!!

Cherie

 

[txbasschik]

I ran into a somewhat similar problem about two years ago. I was hired to be the "full time" bassist for a local band that had had some moderate success. Mostly low paying local gigs, but some choice gigs out of town - rooms, food, booze, party favors , and good pay ($200-300/night).

What I failed to realize is that they had a revolving door of bassists since the original bassist left. They had a "go-to" guy, but he would often bail for more high profile gigs and leave them to find a sub. I was under the impression that this guy was out of the picture, as the band leader told me that they wanted someone full time and that I had all of the gigs on the calendar for the foreseeable future.

So I bust my ass and try to learn all of the tunes - they had a ton. I had to transcribe most of the chord charts during rehearsals. We get to my first gigs, and I'm still using charts because there are so many songs and just not enough time to get them all down, but I had a good feel for most of the stuff. The problem comes when the band leader doesn't want to write down set lists. He gets the idea in his head that he's some sort of conductor - dude you're in a jam band, not Count Basie's orchestra - and he wants to call everything out on the spot. He would call out a song and then start immediately, so that if it was a song that I still needed a chart for, I'd be scrambling through my charts to get to it.

The first gig I got through O.K., because the tunes were simple and I didn't need the charts too much. The second gig went O.K. as far as I was concerned, but after that he said he wanted to use someone else for the next gig. He said my tone was bad, my time was bad, and that I didn't have the tunes down well enough. He said he had a "reputation to uphold" and insinuated that my playing was so bad that it would put the band's future in jeopardy. Well, I had some friends, including fellow bassists, in the house that night and they said my tone was great and the band sounded good.

What it all came down to was the fact that the drummer was pissed at the "go-to" bassist because they were friends. He wanted the "go-to" guy back in the band, but he was too busy going off and playing the higher profile gigs.

Because the band leader told me he was using someone else for the upcoming gig, I fired myself. I had a bunch of people coming to the upcoming gig - friends, coworkers, etc. Extremely embarrassing. He handled it poorly. If I had known they were just giving me a go to see how it worked out for the first couple of gigs, that would have been fine. But he had led me to believe that I was the bass player. Period. No subs. I could have continued with the band, but I wasn't about to let him boot me off of a gig any time because he felt that I wasn't up to snuff.

AAAGGGHHH!!! What jerks!!!

Why do people feel the need to lie about things like this? Simply being honest from the *beginning* would prevent so much anger, ruined friendships, severed work relationships...so much b.s. What makes lying easier? Don't they realize the lie always catches up? If they'd been honest, you would have known what to expect, and prepared accordingly!

They bought themselves more hassle by lying!

Cherie

 

[Ric5]

master your instrument ... once you become a highly accomplished bassist then you will have more opportunites that you can handle. Then pick the one that best suites you.

 

[txbasschik]

Jeez, and all I got when I left a band on here was...buck up Johnny! Just kidding. Its actually very cool to get the support we do on this forum.

And, I had the bait-and-switch happen to me years ago. I was the youngest member of a band that...ahem..."was going places". And when I finally stopped being led around by the nose and questioned some of the brain-trusts decisions, I got the "practice is canceled because of...uh...lightning. Yeah, lightning, that'll work" shtick. Of course I knew better...(there wasnt a cloud in the sky...)

Good luck, it sounds like you are already hitting the ground running.

Oh, you've had that lightening-storm-on-a-clear-day practice cancelled, too, huh?

I just don't get why people do that. Its harder sometimes, to do the right thing and tell the truth. But, in the long run, you always have less hassle from the truth. Are people really so gutless and self-serving? I guess some are.

We just *have* to find honorable people to play with!!!

I know, I know, that's like looking for a virgin in a sorority house. But we can dream!

Cherie

 

[bassbrock]

Where can I hear some song samples of this "Queen Bee" vocalist so I can make fun of her? ;-)

 

[Ewo]

I think I'll take some time to work up material that I really, really like, then bring that to the local jam in order to attract other musicians with like tastes.

Cherie

Good plan!

Often, hurt feelings can be transformed into motivation for new accomplishments.

When you're woodshedding, get in touch with your inner Tal Wilkenfeld. And for ear training, imagine the sound of the Bronx Cheer you'll have for your former bandmates. (A very hip sound, with a Texas accent...)

 

[txbasschik]

Where can I hear some song samples of this "Queen Bee" vocalist so I can make fun of her? ;-)

myspace.com/thechromewheels.

My husband said she sounds like a "dying hyena". But, you know, he's all mad on his honey's behalf.

Cherie

 

[txbasschik]

Good plan!

Often, hurt feelings can be transformed into motivation for new accomplishments.

When you're woodshedding, get in touch with your inner Tal Wilkenson. And for ear training, imagine the sound of the Bronx Cheer you'll have for your former bandmates. (A very hip sound, with a Texas accent...)

LOL!!! Highly motivational!!!

Hmmmm...Bronx Cheer with a Texas accent...

Oh! That'd be a razz-berry with extra juice! LOL!

Cherie

 

[buckminster]

master your instrument ... once you become a highly accomplished bassist then you will have more opportunites that you can handle. Then pick the one that best suites you.

Seriously... Wow, I wish life was that easy. I've been playing for 24 years and I still haven't mastered my instrument. There are very few who have.

Becoming a highly accomplished bassist involves playing experience and along with playing experience comes dealing with other personalities in bands. Picking a musical situation that suits you is easy, but it's not always cut-and-dried when it comes to finding people that you truly enjoy playing with.

 

[txbasschik]

master your instrument ... once you become a highly accomplished bassist then you will have more opportunites that you can handle. Then pick the one that best suites you.

It'll be a while before mastery is achieved. But I do alright, and I'm always trying to play stuff that's too difficult for me, looking towards the time when it is no longer too difficult.

In this new project, everyone is WAY more experienced than I am. By decades! But that's really good, because that'll make me have to work all the harder and make me a better player.

Cherie

 

[txbasschik]

Seriously... Wow, I wish life was that easy. I've been playing for 24 years and I still haven't mastered my instrument. There are very few who have.

Becoming a highly accomplished bassist involves playing experience and along with playing experience comes dealing with other personalities in bands. Picking a musical situation that suits you is easy, but it's not always cut-and-dried when it comes to finding people that you truly enjoy playing with.

I have decided to look at potential bands the way I would view a potential beau, were I still single and dating.

Meaning that I need to really get to know them before I make a commitment. I like the idea of being a local gypsy for a while, playing here and there, joining no one unless being around them makes me really happy.

Cherie