Thinking about quitting!

[BassJuju]

Probably said somewhere in here…

I’d take a break and wait for like minded people to jam with. Find your joy again.

 

[T Bassman]

Every single project I have gotten involved in since about 2016 has fallen apart due to…

lack of commitment from members
Inexperienced players
Clashing attitudes
Or all 3 if convenient!

I have gone through drummers that hit so light he had to mic his kit just in a basement setting

a keyboard player that just started playing that apparently knew everything about every instrument and how to run a band. Now she is a tax expert in one year!!!

a guitarist that wanted to use his looper pedal to record his solos and play them back live and just do his rhythms and get mad at the rest of us for not being at the right spot when he hits his playback button

we found a great guitarist and had 2 sets down in 2 practices when he let us know that he sold his house and was moving away

And this latest one! The new guitarist is a music teacher and has a habit to do songs in different keys and change the progressions while at the same time slowing it down considerably. Think Higher Ground at the same tempo as say Can’t You See and change it to Am and not follow the progression but make up his own! Today he mentioned that he is going to also seek out other musicians to play with. He was upfront so not a big deal to me. Lots of people have several projects on the go at the same time. But then the drummer that has to have all the songs in the same order as a set list flipped the other day because a song was out of order. Well he quit today because he got mad at what the guitarist said!

mall this plus stress at work because I do piece work and my expenses are up and profits are down!

I am just about ready to just quit and sell everything! This relaxing thing called music is stressing me out too much! Plus I get no sympathy or support from my wife, she just says that she don’t want to hear me talk about it!!!!

I don’t know! Am I alone or are there others like me lol?

Lethbridge is a tough one mate. I suppose it's tough everywhere this way. At least you have The Owl venue to play! Those guys are great to work with. Lots of cool younger players hanging around the shows there too, to interact with.
I play with some wonderful players who book decent shows down there, but I consider myself very fortunate.
Since there's not more than a handful of serious bass players in the area, if you can groove, have great gear, positive vibe and learn material quickly there should always be a bass chair open at least. It's just about finding that right combination of folks.They are out there

 

[oysterphish]

Lethbridge is a tough one mate. I suppose it's tough everywhere this way. At least you have The Owl venue to play! Those guys are great to work with. Lots of cool younger players hanging around the shows there too, to interact with.
I play with some wonderful players who book decent shows down there, but I consider myself very fortunate.
Since there's not more than a handful of serious bass players in the area, if you can groove, have great gear, positive vibe and learn material quickly there should always be a bass chair open at least. It's just about finding that right combination of folks.They are out there

You bring up a good point. Lots of talented youngsters. Sometimes I'm too shy to suggest jamming with twenty-something year olds, on account of my age (40).
That said, I'm a high school teacher and am seriously considering doing a School Of Rock club after school, for selfish reasons like Jack Black. I'll get my band that way! Lol.

 

[MAJOR METAL]

The only thing that's ok to quit without being called a quitter is cigarettes'.

 

[themickster]

Every single project I have gotten involved in since about 2016 has fallen apart due to…

lack of commitment from members
Inexperienced players
Clashing attitudes
Or all 3 if convenient!

I have gone through drummers that hit so light he had to mic his kit just in a basement setting

a keyboard player that just started playing that apparently knew everything about every instrument and how to run a band. Now she is a tax expert in one year!!!

a guitarist that wanted to use his looper pedal to record his solos and play them back live and just do his rhythms and get mad at the rest of us for not being at the right spot when he hits his playback button

we found a great guitarist and had 2 sets down in 2 practices when he let us know that he sold his house and was moving away

And this latest one! The new guitarist is a music teacher and has a habit to do songs in different keys and change the progressions while at the same time slowing it down considerably. Think Higher Ground at the same tempo as say Can’t You See and change it to Am and not follow the progression but make up his own! Today he mentioned that he is going to also seek out other musicians to play with. He was upfront so not a big deal to me. Lots of people have several projects on the go at the same time. But then the drummer that has to have all the songs in the same order as a set list flipped the other day because a song was out of order. Well he quit today because he got mad at what the guitarist said!

mall this plus stress at work because I do piece work and my expenses are up and profits are down!

I am just about ready to just quit and sell everything! This relaxing thing called music is stressing me out too much! Plus I get no sympathy or support from my wife, she just says that she don’t want to hear me talk about it!!!!

I don’t know! Am I alone or are there others like me lol?

I'd rather have a drummer that needs miking than one that thinks the kit only works if he hits it as hard as he can and gets angry at being asked to quieten down. There's nothing you can do about those. I hear you on everything else.

 

[Engle]

Every single project I have gotten involved in since about 2016 has fallen apart due to…

lack of commitment from members
Inexperienced players
Clashing attitudes
Or all 3 if convenient!

I have gone through drummers that hit so light he had to mic his kit just in a basement setting

a keyboard player that just started playing that apparently knew everything about every instrument and how to run a band. Now she is a tax expert in one year!!!

a guitarist that wanted to use his looper pedal to record his solos and play them back live and just do his rhythms and get mad at the rest of us for not being at the right spot when he hits his playback button

we found a great guitarist and had 2 sets down in 2 practices when he let us know that he sold his house and was moving away

And this latest one! The new guitarist is a music teacher and has a habit to do songs in different keys and change the progressions while at the same time slowing it down considerably. Think Higher Ground at the same tempo as say Can’t You See and change it to Am and not follow the progression but make up his own! Today he mentioned that he is going to also seek out other musicians to play with. He was upfront so not a big deal to me. Lots of people have several projects on the go at the same time. But then the drummer that has to have all the songs in the same order as a set list flipped the other day because a song was out of order. Well he quit today because he got mad at what the guitarist said!

mall this plus stress at work because I do piece work and my expenses are up and profits are down!

I am just about ready to just quit and sell everything! This relaxing thing called music is stressing me out too much! Plus I get no sympathy or support from my wife, she just says that she don’t want to hear me talk about it!!!!

I don’t know! Am I alone or are there others like me lol?

Well you're not alone. I have had a couple of points in my life where I had to quit a few things to restore some balance.
One of my bands has gotten to the point where we spend more time scheduling than we do actually rehearsing.

 

[T Bassman]

You bring up a good point. Lots of talented youngsters. Sometimes I'm too shy to suggest jamming with twenty-something year olds, on account of my age (40).
That said, I'm a high school teacher and am seriously considering doing a School Of Rock club after school, for selfish reasons like Jack Black. I'll get my band that way! Lol.

You're young dude. Ive got years on you yet! Lol

In the past Ive gone out and 'scouted' for perspective future projects at 'The Slice' or 'Owl', just to see what's out there, and look for weak links in rhythm sections.
I take note of this where I see it, and consider where I could possibly help/fit in down the road, if their bassist leaves, which happens all the time.

I also have a couple busy local drummer pals who keep me in the loop as far as cool pick up gigs or sub opportunities when they come up, that might suit my style of playing. Not sure who you roll with locally, but having a few busy playing mates has helped translate into some fun playing opportunities as well!

 

[Hevy T]

You're young dude. Ive got years on you yet! Lol

In the past Ive gone out and 'scouted' for perspective future projects at 'The Slice' or 'Owl', just to see what's out there, and look for weak links in rhythm sections.
I take note of this where I see it, and consider where I could possibly help/fit in down the road, if their bassist leaves, which happens all the time.

I also have a couple busy local drummer pals who keep me in the loop as far as cool pick up gigs or sub opportunities when they come up, that might suit my style of playing. Not sure who you roll with locally, but having a few busy playing mates has helped translate into some fun playing opportunities as well!

I check out The Slice occasionally but after working 12 hours and getting fed there is no fuel left in the gas tank to go out again. I have gone on occasion and had some fun though. The Owl! Never been inside the door! Maybe its me but there seems to be too many hipsters there and people I dont really get along with for various reasons lol. I should try it sometime though, I could be wrong.

I have said with each opportunity that I have had that I am too busy to commit but end up doing it anyway. So yeah lots of the extra stress is very much self induced. But music is my stress relief and if I could find solid players and not flakes I think I could make it work.

 

[MrLenny1]

Take a break. Every issue you just mentioned happens all the time.
Prior to Covid I went thru 5 different bands in 4 years with the same issues mentioned.
They have all folded. Now I'm 70 & still looking for a gig.
Personnel issues are a constant problem.

 

[T Bassman]

I check out The Slice occasionally but after working 12 hours and getting fed there is no fuel left in the gas tank to go out again. I have gone on occasion and had some fun though. The Owl! Never been inside the door! Maybe its me but there seems to be too many hipsters there and people I dont really get along with for various reasons lol. I should try it sometime though, I could be wrong.

I have said with each opportunity that I have had that I am too busy to commit but end up doing it anyway. So yeah lots of the extra stress is very much self induced. But music is my stress relief and if I could find solid players and not flakes I think I could make it work.[/QUOTE

Yeah check out The Owl for sure man! Great folks running that place too. It even sounds pretty good onstage in there.

It's definitely a younger haunt though, which I love personally, but sounds like you may run in a different scene than myself, which of course is super cool too!

Possibly the 'Honkers' jam on the Northside would be a good spot to meet some more mature players as well? Certainly no hipster types over there! lol

 

[gazzatriumph]

I have gone through drummers that hit so light he had to mic his kit just in a basement setting

Can I have his phone number.

 

[Indiana Mike]

Backing tracks !
All the rest of the band and no lips

 

[juancaminos]

Don't sell anything. I have "taken a break" a few times in my 50+ years of playing but always come back. I'm now retired and enjoy playing every week end. Even spent a few thousand on lighter equipment.

 

[Chris Laarman]

Backing tracks !
All the rest of the band and no lips

Louis "the Lip" Prima is dead...

 

[Wasnex]

I'm not a fan of loopers, sequencers, clicks, or any other "tracking" when playing live, but I worked, as a keyboardist) with a great guitarist in duo situations for years and he used a looper occasionally. He was an absolute wizard with it; never any issues with timing or tempi. He almost converted me.... ... almost. It can be done well, but like anything it has start with a lot of practice and skill.

AFAIK, Pretty difficult, if not impossible to use a looper pedal in full band. I can work great and pretty impressive for a solo guitarist who performs a capella.

 

[Wasnex]

Just got back together with a couple of lifelong buddies I've played with over the years. One of them called me up about a month ago and said he met a girl at his church who's a singer and she's pretty good and would like to start up a cover band with her. So we pick some songs and learn them and we all get together and see how it goes. The girl is 30. She can sing...in pitch,time etc.. but....her voice sounds like she's 10. We were doing some Pretenders,Sheryl Crow,Kelly Clarkson,Pink, Meredith Brooks etc. and it just wasn't cutting it for me. Her voice just doesn't fit the music. The other two guys...drummer and bass player...think she's fine and she'll get better. Well as I said her singing voice is that of a 10yr old....thats something thats not gonna change and doesn't do any justice to the rocking female vocal tunes she's trying to pull off. I don't want to keep on with this. We've gotten together 4 times and I don't see anything changing with her. Shes not gonna go from a Disney Princess voice to Janis Joplin. My buddy who introduced us and thought this would workout seems he doesn't haven't have the heart to tell her this probably isn't gonna workout cause he goes to church with her and she sings there and he plays in the band. I'm at a crossroads. I like playing with these guys. Like I said were all good musicians..been playing together off and on for years,get along great,read each others minds when playing etc.. but...I know this girl ain't gonna cut it. Knew it from day one. Oh well. Maybe I'll ride it out for their sake till the wheels fall off.

It's not unusual for the singer's strength to drive a band's repertoire. Any chance you guys could find tunes better suited to her voice.

 

[Wasnex]

Embrace this....Minnie Mouse after sucking on a helium balloon singing Celebrity Skin by Hole. Timing,pitch etc ain't gonna help if it sounds like she's two octaves high. Lol!

IMHO it's okay to let her go, but in this case I would suggest being kind about it. I don't think you are saying she sucks...I think you are saying she is not well suited for the type of music you want to play.

Other options besides the can job.
1. Play something she is well suited for...that could include cool adaptions of existing songs.
2. Quit and let her and your buddy continue doing what works (for them).

 

[CryingBass]

Honesty, effort, skills.

Typically you get 1 or 2 of the above. Unfortunately we need all 3.

 

[DirtDog]

Gigs almost never give you what you think they should. A lot of people don't learn this till it's too late.

Yup, so true.

And some players just don’t have what it takes to gig at a halfway decent level.

 

[tb-player]

I am just about ready to just quit and sell everything! This relaxing thing called music is stressing me out too much! Plus I get no sympathy or support from my wife, she just says that she don’t want to hear me talk about it!!!!

I don’t know! Am I alone or are there others like me lol?

I quit. It's been great. Of course, now that I've decided to hang it up, offers are coming from everywhere. Maybe I should quit more often.