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Thinking about walking away

#41
I've always had trouble with other people when it comes to anything where something needs doing - forming a band, starting a business, just having any kind of solid, reliable relationship.

I long ago came to the conclusion that the common factor in all these things was myself. Which is fine. But whatever I try to do, I find that I either do it myself or I take charge and find people that are willing and able to do what is needed as I request it. Anyone else who tries to take charge of the situation will invariably want to go in a different direction and derail what I'm trying to achieve.

Which is sometimes cool, but musically has left me 36 years old treading water in various bands trying to find a fit.
 
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#43
jeffbassguy said:
Why not explore the idea of just being a sub/hired gun. When I got tired of the band dramas I gave my notice, hit up a couple open mics, spread the word I was available for sub work and got calls right away. It has been a breath of fresh air to not get all emotional about people not doing what you need, picking and choosing if and when you play, and honestly I have had to learn way more tunes and styles which has made me a better player.
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This! There is no rush like taking the stage with a bunch of guys you just met playing four hours of music you just heard about three days ago!

Put out an ad for fill in bass player. If you sing some too (even backups) you'll be busier than you want to be in no time. Leave the drama for the kids.
 
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#45
Hit your local jam session opportunities for awhile. Keeps you in the game, keeps you on your toes improptu, keeps you learning new material, exempts you from responsibility to anyone but yourself. And if your chops are good, and your head is in the right place, it will get you on a lot of people's lists as a go to player. You'll eventually get calls to play. And, if you don't like it, you can just can just walk away....no strings....

Downside is you aren't gonna get paid, but you'll still be in the game and will make many new contacts. In six months to a year, if you have the chops, you'll be able to choose your next serious association.

Hope this helps.

Koog
 
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#46
This is all great stuff guys, I appreciate it. It's good to know other people have gone through the same stuff at various points. One gentleman said that I could be the common denominator, and I think he might be right but not in a negative sense. I'm a pretty self motivated individual, I like working and being busy. It's hard to find a matching level of commitment.
 
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#50
ProgressiveDoom said:
I dont know why but drummers are some of the most ridiculous f**k's I have ever met, or not. Trying to get a band started was a serious downer when putting out an ad looking for one as they all get excited and they all back out because they all have excuses and you pull your ad off out of frustration only to repost it at a later date and the same clowns respond with the same scenario's all over again. When you finally get one you have to tread softly as they can be like delicate flowers.
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At least I know it's not just me. I should just shift gears and play industrial music so I can use a drum machine!
 
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#52
Wolfenstein666 said:
This is all great stuff guys, I appreciate it. It's good to know other people have gone through the same stuff at various points. One gentleman said that I could be the common denominator, and I think he might be right but not in a negative sense. I'm a pretty self motivated individual, I like working and being busy. It's hard to find a matching level of commitment.
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I didn't mean it to be negative. If you can't find people dedicated to following your path, and you're not enjoying the scenery on their path, then walk it alone until you catch up to people on the same path as you.

Or something.
 
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#55
The suggestion to try to get sub work is a good one - gets you out of your rut and (potentially) out of your comfort zone, which in turn can only make you a better player.

...and I'm probably sounding like a broken record by now but: GO JAZZ! (I'm only half-kidding) You'll find more driven / serious cats there IMO. Whatever it is, it could be good to try something different from the genre/format you're used to. Undisciplined guitarists? Play with a keyboardist and/or horns instead. Flaky singer? Go instrumental.

After about a decade and a half of playing only in guitar-centric rock bands, I was about ready to sell all my gear and never play again. I experienced frustrations similar to yours. Eventually I tried something different...turns out funk, jazz and R&B are more my speed. I jam and gig more now than I ever did. Not saying this is the answer to your problem, but keeping an open mind genre and format-wise can create opportunities for you.
 
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#57
I think we need to lighten the mood, and nothing does it better than this...

images(2).jpeg


... Wolfie, $5 says you don't make this exact face to your band mates, the next time you get frustrated with them...
 
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#58
Wolfenstein666 said:
*grabs said drink and downs it*

Been thinking about that, I just don't really know what I'd want to do or how I'd want to go about it. I have no intentions of walking away from bass at all, but thinking maybe I can just take some time off and study some theory and learn some of my favorite songs for fun.
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Sometimes a break is an awesome thing.

Back in the day, I was a full time pro. The market died, and I stopped playing because I went back to school. I got full time job. I went to grad school. Then I went back to music. I hadn't touched a bass, hadn't thought much about it even, in 4 years. When I went back, I was twice the player I was when I left. My perspective had changed and for the most part I liked it more, but without question I was better. These days I even have better chops.

Taking time off off was the best practice i could have done.
 
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