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Thinking about walking away

#23
Wolfenstein666 said:
This should be on a tshirt.
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[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]:

preview_t-shirt (1).png


:laugh::thumbsup:
 
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#26
Sorry to hear about that audition drama, but that's par for the course unfortunately. I feel that it's safe to say that we've all dealt with BS and flakiness from musicians hiring, but the nice thing is that sooner or later they'll need a bassist again and will likely remember you for your professionalism. I'd also suggest a jump into the hired gun world for a while...I did it and don't think I could ever go back to being in a band without some rules and agreements written out first. Oh, and buy yourself some new gear, just 'cause!

Whether or not you accept any gigs from them is another story. Went back and forth with a guy for two years after my first audition. He'd be all about me being "part of the band" and then I wouldn't hear from him for several months at a time before he'd text out of the blue, asking if I still wanted to play with him. Two rounds of this and suddenly I was completely booked out a few months in advance (I truly was, no BS) when he needed me to step in immediately to save his butt for some shows (also hear through the grapevine about some rockstar drama he pulled while opening for friends of mine). Ain't got no time for that nonsense!
 
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#27
Milo Spleen said:
How about starting your own band. Cherry pick the good, like-minded musicians of YOUR choice, and proceed in the direction and speed that you ALL want to go.
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Wolfenstein666 said:
This is something I could see myself doing after a hiatus. *snip* I'd for sure want some time to recharge my batteries.
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Nothing wrong with stepping back a bit... and then coming back on your terms! That's a dang good plan.
 
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#29
Being a multi instrumentalist (Bass being#1)I had a ten year span where I wasnt involved in a band setting so I took my sweet time putting my own music together with just bass,drums and keys with effects. Its so rewarding to listen back to what can be accomplished on your own, its like having your very own band of individuals creating the exact material only your brain can dream up. The band Im in right now is amazing and Im so happy to be a major contributor to our sound but they would never touch the material I do on my own, and I wouldnt want them to.
 
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#31
Wolfenstein666 said:
This is something I could see myself doing after a hiatus. I don't think I have the mental fortitude to dive into that right now. The past year or so has been pretty soul-crushing from a progress standpoint, so I'd for sure want some time to recharge my batteries.
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Have thought about separating your progress as a musician from the progress of the band?

Creating your own song book and learning to be an efficient sight reader may get you further along in your career.:thumbsup:
 
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#32
I was a founding member of an all originals band for 4 years, we were moving ahead and doing alright but the lack of vision and ambition of other members was a downer. Especially the drummer and his attitude, in fact it was a fallout with a drummer that made me quit which ended the band because they can't play without me. First thing that came to my mind was I have the freedom to study theory, spend time on advanced practices, and work on recording my own songs which weren't appropriate for the band because they were too technical and melodic for some of the other members to fully grasp. Last night was my first chance since I quit the band to play with someone else. I went to a local free Jam, and I was the only bassist there. I played for almost three and a half hours straight as others rotated In and Out playing guitar and drums . And I had such a great time I mean I killed it, applying all this theory I had been studying, as well as advice I've seen here on TB about how to use chord tones and passing tones and that kind of stuff, everything they threw at me I was able to come up with a solid bassline. If your gut is telling you it is time to move on maybe you should listen.
 
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#33
Ellery said:
I was a founding member of an all originals band for 4 years, we were moving ahead and doing alright but the lack of vision and ambition of other members was a downer. Especially the drummer and his attitude, in fact it was a fallout with a drummer that made me quit which ended the band because they can't play without me. First thing that came to my mind was I have the freedom to study theory, spend time on advanced practices, and work on recording my own songs which weren't appropriate for the band because they were too technical and melodic for some of the other members to fully grasp. Last night was my first chance since I quit the band to play with someone else. I went to a local free Jam, and I was the only bassist there. I played for almost three and a half hours straight as others rotated In and Out playing guitar and drums . And I had such a great time I mean I killed it, applying all this theory I had been studying, as well as advice I've seen here on TB about how to use chord tones and passing tones and that kind of stuff, everything they threw at me I was able to come up with a solid bassline. If your gut is telling you it is time to move on maybe you should listen.
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Next time FIRE the drummer about 3.5 years ago and don't quit.:roflmao:
 
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#34
Wolfenstein666 said:
That's the source of my frustration, is I feel that I've done of good job of being reasonable. I don't think it's unreasonable to expect open communication regarding band issues and accountability when auditioning new musicians. Unfortunately that seems to not be the case where I'm at.
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Exactly.

Your standards don't sound unreasonable to me. You just need to hold out for people who share them.
 
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#35
Wolfenstein666 said:
-Frustration-laden Rant Warning

I've posted a couple threads in the past about how my current band is a slow moving one, how frustrating it is etc, etc. But something happened today that really is making me reconsider moving forward with bands in general.

In an effort to alleviate some of the anxiety associated with a slow moving band, I put word out that I was looking to audition for a side project. I got hit up relatively quickly for a three piece band that had currently a guitarist / vocalist and a drummer, and were looking to flesh out the line up with a bassist. We arranged a date to get together, all was well.

Fast forward to the day of the audition (about a week after setting the date) and he texts me to tell me that the drummer can't make it because he's working OT. I thought, fine. No big deal, it happens. We set up a new date.

I saw the guitar player at a local gig that weekend and we talked for a few, and decided on today for the audition. Both parties expressed excitement at the potential for jamming with new people.

Messaged him today to make sure we were still on and he told me that a relative had just passed yesterday, but over the weekend (same weekend I saw him) that they tried out another bassist and "for the sake of time" were going with him instead.

I wished him condolences for his loss and deleted his number.

I mean, ***? I'm sorry he suffered a loss, but that has little to do with my audition as it happened after they tried someone else out. He went behind my back after telling me for two weeks we we're going to jam. I understand if after I auditioned they went with someone else, that's just the way the game works. But to do it the way he did it really left a bad taste in my mouth.

This, in conjunction with the fact that I'm having trouble even getting my current band mates to communicate on basic stuff and I'm pulling all the weight really has me considering packing it in. I'm going back to school in August for Industrial Engineering and I can make time for a band, but I'm really struggling to see the purpose right now. I'm sick of being tethered down and held back by other people's lack of ambition or drive to do something. I'm sick of having my time wasted. I'm sick of shouldering all the weight.

I feel like I need to pursue something that isn't so dependent on other people, because lately other people have been sources of immense frustration and let downs.

I don't really need advice, just needed a place to vent. It's all extremely discouraging.
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You: I'm going back to school in August for Industrial Engineering

Me: Good

My grandpa put it best: "why you want be a musician?"
 
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#36
Ellery said:
I was a founding member of an all originals band for 4 years, we were moving ahead and doing alright but the lack of vision and ambition of other members was a downer. Especially the drummer and his attitude, in fact it was a fallout with a drummer that made me quit which ended the band because they can't play without me. First thing that came to my mind was I have the freedom to study theory, spend time on advanced practices, and work on recording my own songs which weren't appropriate for the band because they were too technical and melodic for some of the other members to fully grasp. Last night was my first chance since I quit the band to play with someone else. I went to a local free Jam, and I was the only bassist there. I played for almost three and a half hours straight as others rotated In and Out playing guitar and drums . And I had such a great time I mean I killed it, applying all this theory I had been studying, as well as advice I've seen here on TB about how to use chord tones and passing tones and that kind of stuff, everything they threw at me I was able to come up with a solid bassline. If your gut is telling you it is time to move on maybe you should listen.
Click to expand...
 
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#37
I dont know why but drummers are some of the most ridiculous f**k's I have ever met, or not. Trying to get a band started was a serious downer when putting out an ad looking for one as they all get excited and they all back out because they all have excuses and you pull your ad off out of frustration only to repost it at a later date and the same clowns respond with the same scenario's all over again. When you finally get one you have to tread softly as they can be like delicate flowers.
 
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#39
Wolfenstein666 said:
This is something I could see myself doing after a hiatus. I don't think I have the mental fortitude to dive into that right now. The past year or so has been pretty soul-crushing from a progress standpoint, so I'd for sure want some time to recharge my batteries.
Click to expand...
Take a year off and spend some time improving your own playing. Learn new styles or learn another instrument even. Rediscover why you like music in general.

That or just roll with the punches like everyone else does. If you read about a lot of musicians it takes a few tries to find that perfect band.
 
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