Thinking about walking away

[LT131]

Not even a slight chance. I might be disenfranchised with bands, but that doesn't diminish my love for bass in the slightest.

You can buy it all for 1,000,000

Bah! Foiled again in my quest for discount instruments! Curses.

Don't be discouraged by flakey bandmates, just try not to be one.

 

[cerrem]

Once you realize how much time you are wasting playing with A$$-CLOWNS then the sooner you will be off to another venture...
Your playing will suffer as well....
Life is short and there are all sorts of opportunities out there to go after...
I would rather stay home and work on my technique then to play with a messed up band... use this time to work on your bass playing chops, so you will be prepared when a good opportunity happens..
I have no idea why musicians stay in bands they hate....just like the girl that gets beat up by her boyfriend and refuses to leave him....

 

[bdeaux]

I was in this position many times back around 2000 - 2007. There were numerous times that I put my live playing on hold (due to frustration w/ other musicians being either slackers or too uptight) just to woodshed and explore new genres. I tried to make sure my personal practice time was with a metronome or beat machine of sorts. To stay sharp. It wasn't until fall of 2007 that I agreed to sub for Neon Trees. This was pre record deal or radio hits. But they were rad people with a huge drive for making this a career. I'd soon join the band and help direct the business affairs towards a publishing deal and then a recording contract. It was a dream come true. But then the real work started. It would be nearly 3 years before we made honest income (advances or tour support don't count). And honestly, the band drama doesn't go away. But I always say:
the worst day on tour is still better than the best day in an office

 

[james condino]

"....the worst day on tour is still better than the best day in an office...."

+1

Three times in life I've quit everything, sold everything I owned, and left the country for an extended period of time. Within a couple of years I was always back to a similar place. It took quite a while to realize it was not because of the instrument I was playing or the people I was in a band with.....

 

[alaskaleftybass]

You can be a one man band. All you have to do is learn a bit about looping and controlling effects. Here's where to start:

Ambient/Post-Rock/Textural bass playing thread

 

[interp]

Don't walk away from playing music. Go to the woodshed, hone your skills (including vocals) to the point where you can walk on to any stage and hold your own in a variety of genres.

Then let it be known you are available as a hired gun.

 

[sratas]

-Frustration-laden Rant Warning

I've posted a couple threads in the past about how my current band is a slow moving one, how frustrating it is etc, etc. But something happened today that really is making me reconsider moving forward with bands in general.

In an effort to alleviate some of the anxiety associated with a slow moving band, I put word out that I was looking to audition for a side project. I got hit up relatively quickly for a three piece band that had currently a guitarist / vocalist and a drummer, and were looking to flesh out the line up with a bassist. We arranged a date to get together, all was well.

Fast forward to the day of the audition (about a week after setting the date) and he texts me to tell me that the drummer can't make it because he's working OT. I thought, fine. No big deal, it happens. We set up a new date.

I saw the guitar player at a local gig that weekend and we talked for a few, and decided on today for the audition. Both parties expressed excitement at the potential for jamming with new people.

Messaged him today to make sure we were still on and he told me that a relative had just passed yesterday, but over the weekend (same weekend I saw him) that they tried out another bassist and "for the sake of time" were going with him instead.

I wished him condolences for his loss and deleted his number.

I mean, ***? I'm sorry he suffered a loss, but that has little to do with my audition as it happened after they tried someone else out. He went behind my back after telling me for two weeks we we're going to jam. I understand if after I auditioned they went with someone else, that's just the way the game works. But to do it the way he did it really left a bad taste in my mouth.

This, in conjunction with the fact that I'm having trouble even getting my current band mates to communicate on basic stuff and I'm pulling all the weight really has me considering packing it in. I'm going back to school in August for Industrial Engineering and I can make time for a band, but I'm really struggling to see the purpose right now. I'm sick of being tethered down and held back by other people's lack of ambition or drive to do something. I'm sick of having my time wasted. I'm sick of shouldering all the weight.

I feel like I need to pursue something that isn't so dependent on other people, because lately other people have been sources of immense frustration and let downs.

I don't really need advice, just needed a place to vent. It's all extremely discouraging.

MY EXACT CONDITION AT THE MOMENT.

exact.

I'm too old to think that changing people/band can erase all probs. The fact is that bands are made of persons, and persons can be problematic by nature. When they interact, other problems arise. To join or not to join, that's the problem

Anyway, my frustration is poisoning me, and I would have gone away far before, but I have to move to another city in 8 months from now, so I think I may just repay those dudes with the same coin. I will stay till we gig this summer, I have a strong desire for this even if it is only 1 or 2 gigs, usually at an outdoor party with friends, and then goodbye

 

[ThinCrappyTone]

I feel like I need to pursue something that isn't so dependent on other people, because lately other people have been sources of immense frustration and let downs.

I can relate. I played in one band, decades ago, with great friends, and everything came easy. Ever since then it has been one dysfunctional situation after another.

One avenue to possibly try is some sort of a solo loop project. Lots of people seem to be able to make an entertaining solo act using that technology.

 

[Steadfast]

I decided to home grow my own band. Literally.

My daughter and now I adopted two boys--in about 5 years they will be ready to play drums and keyboards and I will just be about pre-walker aged......

idk--maybe I should clone some musicians in the garage....they don't have to be that talented--just show the **** up and don't fidget during rehearsal.

 

[StudioGC]

Wouldn't dream of it. Not walking away from music, I'm only thinking about hanging it up with bands for awhile.

Maybe it's a UK thing, but now that I've moved over here I've become a member of two bands and both bands are (mostly) punctual and professional.

In the States (D.C. area) it was hot or miss with the bands I was part of.

 

[Steadfast]

Maybe it's a UK thing, but now that I've moved over here I've become a member of two bands and both bands are (mostly) punctual and professional.

In the States (D.C. area) it was hot or miss with the bands I was part of.

That is very telling. Perhaps that is why there are so many good bands coming out of the UK.....and soooo many crappy bands in the US. I think the good to crap ratio in the US is like 1,000,000 to 1.

 

[StudioGC]

That is very telling. Perhaps that is why there are so many good bands coming out of the UK.....and soooo many crappy bands in the US. I think the good to crap ratio in the US is like 1,000,000 to 1.

Also, my observation after watching local bands at the various pubs in my area are that you get a better eclectic mix of music and not the same old boring....Sweet Home Alabama, Mustang Sally etc. The locals seem to appreciate when bands branch out a bit into unknown territory.

 

[rtslinger]

That is why I learned early on I call the shots, I have always been the founding member of all of the projects I am involved in. BL can be a pain, but you get what you put in to it, "You" decide who you want to work with, if things don't work out with someone in "your band" they move on not you. Personally I like being in control not for everyone, but it works for me. Only advise on BL is treat members with respect, understand life can get in the way of any project, so even in my band today family comes first. Be fair with everyone and as my members past and present have become long lastly friends. good luck RTS

 

[AshInAmsterdam]

Maybe it's a UK thing, but now that I've moved over here I've become a member of two bands and both bands are (mostly) punctual and professional.

In the States (D.C. area) it was hot or miss with the bands I was part of.

Definitely not a UK thing. You've struck gold.

Though there are many interesting bands out there in the uk, and they must find a way to work together. I guess maybe I just never found them (apart from that one band I started with friends which could have been awesome except everyone else went off to uni and forgot about it).

 

[Kevorargh]

+1 to everything being said here.

I, too recently ran into the dragging band problem. Looking back, my problem was...me. I had spent too much time playing with people who had it together and the band I was in had two guitar players who did not have it together and whose visions for the band were far different - it was like nails on a chalkboard dealing with nice guys who were hacks. One finally quit because he could not deal with my need to get songs right. At least I think that's why he quit, he never told me.

When I was in grad school, I found I had no one to play with and it was pretty depressing, so I started writing solo pieces, eventually getting into looping. Put on a fair number of shows either by myself or putting together my own band, with fair to middling results. But I had a blast doing it.

I also have spent time at various open mics in the towns that I have lived in. Being the one good bass player in small town means gigs, and the people who run the open mic are usually very good musicians, which got me some regular gigs with them after a bit. So, find an open mic and get in with some people who run it. You will not be sorry.

 

[bearhart74]

 

[fhm555]

-Frustration-laden Rant Warning

I've posted a couple threads in the past about how my current band is a slow moving one, how frustrating it is etc, etc. But something happened today that really is making me reconsider moving forward with bands in general.

In an effort to alleviate some of the anxiety associated with a slow moving band, I put word out that I was looking to audition for a side project. I got hit up relatively quickly for a three piece band that had currently a guitarist / vocalist and a drummer, and were looking to flesh out the line up with a bassist. We arranged a date to get together, all was well.

Fast forward to the day of the audition (about a week after setting the date) and he texts me to tell me that the drummer can't make it because he's working OT. I thought, fine. No big deal, it happens. We set up a new date.

I saw the guitar player at a local gig that weekend and we talked for a few, and decided on today for the audition. Both parties expressed excitement at the potential for jamming with new people.

Messaged him today to make sure we were still on and he told me that a relative had just passed yesterday, but over the weekend (same weekend I saw him) that they tried out another bassist and "for the sake of time" were going with him instead.

I wished him condolences for his loss and deleted his number.

I mean, ***? I'm sorry he suffered a loss, but that has little to do with my audition as it happened after they tried someone else out. He went behind my back after telling me for two weeks we we're going to jam. I understand if after I auditioned they went with someone else, that's just the way the game works. But to do it the way he did it really left a bad taste in my mouth.

This, in conjunction with the fact that I'm having trouble even getting my current band mates to communicate on basic stuff and I'm pulling all the weight really has me considering packing it in. I'm going back to school in August for Industrial Engineering and I can make time for a band, but I'm really struggling to see the purpose right now. I'm sick of being tethered down and held back by other people's lack of ambition or drive to do something. I'm sick of having my time wasted. I'm sick of shouldering all the weight.

I feel like I need to pursue something that isn't so dependent on other people, because lately other people have been sources of immense frustration and let downs.

I don't really need advice, just needed a place to vent. It's all extremely discouraging.

Get even. Show up late for the album cover shoot.

 

[ThinCrappyTone]

I have no idea why musicians stay in bands they hate....

I personally feel like the universe has given me two choices when it comes to playing in a band:

a) deal with dysfunction and be in a band, or
b) don't deal with dysfunction and don't be in a band

I envy those who have found a situation that works great. I know they are out there. But every situation I have ever been in, over decades of playing, meant dealing with at least one key player who was majorly unprofessional in some way, and/or borderline psychotic.

 

[ZAR14]

In the scenario you expeessed, there seems to be one common denominator, You! Maybe the source of your frustrations is Not other people...

 

[Brother Goose]

I feel your pain. Too many people have no ability to communicate in an intelligent and empathic fashion.

By and large, musicians tend to be a population where acute sensitivity and emotional intelligence is solely directed towards ONESELF and how XYZ impacts their ego.

It's another in the long list of factors that's me want to play happy hour Bossa Nova/smooth jazz & church gigs w grown ups vs. traditional bar bands with young hip people.