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Timing is everything.

Several points here.

1. Whether side stick or hi hat is the best choice is stylistic and what you feel sounds better. If both are on the track there is probably a reason they both are. Nothing says when you play it you can't do or the other, but that's a stylistic issue and not 'keeping time issue'.

2. There is a post on this page that somehow suggests Whitney had a bunch of pick up bands and drummer of the week? Behave. Even if this were the case, and it isn't, Whitneys band would have always have been some heavy hitters. The point about each drummer interpreting it slightly differently is valid, and probably was the over all point but it was framed in a very poor way.

3. Trust whoever is playing their instrument is able to pick up details you initially miss. I've trusted guitar players when I've not heard parts on records, most of the time they are correct. Only once or twice have they been totally wrong but you'll hear things in the bass that they won't and vice versa. Accept it.

4. If you need to rely on any musician to keep time for you then you have some serious work to do on your playing. It's not the drummers job to keep time, it's everyones job. Do your job.
I wish. I often have to dictate time to my drummer so the rest of the band will keep up. He will blame me for letting the band drag tempos down.

I believe it's the old 'disagreement over the amount of swing'. If the lead isn't pushing the beat enough then drummy unconciously puts the beat back a bit so its 'swinging' and then if I come onto his beat it's now slower.

It's bloody tiring playing ahead of beats 2 and 3 and sometimes even 4 so the next bar has a chance to start on time, rinse and repeat.
 
One thought, and I haven't listened to this song in years, but if it's what I think, a ballad where the time is somewhat elastic, you guys need to follow the singer. Of course she needs to KNOW it inside and out, but if she wants to front a band she needs to learn that skill.

And you guys need to learn the skill of being an accompanist, as a pianist would accompany a classical singer.

Just my two...
 
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A decent drummer shouldn't need to actually hear a beat to keep it. He just knows where it is.
For that matter, same goes for a bass-player...
Yeah, not to mention that that is a song where everyone else should really be following along with the vocalist rhythmically.
If she pushes or pulls tempo here or there, everyone else should be ready to adjust.
 
Let me put another perspective on this. It had nothing to do with us playing the song. We never had issues playing together. It was a disagreement on an MP3 song and what i was supposed to follow for timing. He internalised the issue where as i am happy to have been proven wrong.

Maybe you are listening to a compressed low quality mp3 because the high hat is really not that invisible at all. Especially when Whitney starts wailing, that's when the drummer is playing that high hat hardest and it is most apparent. The drummer is playing dynamic so it's not just being buried in the mix but rather, the drummer is playing lightly as is suited for the song.
 
I confess to not reading this entire thread before I make my comments. Nevertheless here they are:

1. Re. keeping time: Everyone in the band should be doing it all the time regardless of which thing the drummer is hitting, or whether any particular band member is playing exactly on the beat or not.

2. If you and your “friend” had it out over an argument about a high hat some other non-musical dynamic is going on.

Just my 2€.
 
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poopie a brick, there is a high hat there. Its so so so low in the mix, you breath and you miss it. I am a heavy breather, lol.
I agree, its a rather trivial matter to get all hung up about.
So as a bass player i have conditioned my brain to follow the bass drum. What is this idea about following the high hat? Especially if you cant hear the damn thing.
I always key on the cymbal part, whether hi hat or ride. It discloses how the drummer is subdividing the best, the amount of swing in the subdivisions.

I’ve never understood the following the kick drum part. I have to arrive simultaneously with the kick. I can’t do that if I am following it.

I want to lock with the drummers pulse and subdivisions. Playing on the kick is a matter of learning a part and playing it. Locking with a drummer is a matter of internalizing their pulse and beat subdivisions.