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Turn it around ... stupid customer stories.

#21
I worked in record stores for most of the '90s. My favorite customers were the ones who would come in looking for "a dance single, they play it on the radio all the time...it's a female singer, the words go something like 'baby, baby'..."

I'd pretty much have to go thru the entire cassingle wall with them at that point.
 
#22
El Beardo said:
I've been working at a family owned music store for a while. Customer comes in and asks for a wall mount guitar hanger. He ends up buying a string swing and goes on his way. About an hour later he's back in the store, pissed off at me for selling him a defective hanger that has left his guitar with a nasty ding. He said as soon as he rested his guitar on the hanger it ripped right out of the wall and hit the floor...

Me- Where did you install the hanger?
Him- My bedroom
Me- Drywall?
Him- Yea(with a no **** Sherlock kind of tone and expression)
Me- Did you make sure you mounted it to a stud?
Him- ...what?

Lesson: A little research can go a long way. Even on the smallest of projects.
Click to expand...

The guitar hanger I bought for my office even came with those plastic expanding plugs in the event one wishes to mount their hanger on a drywall spot that isnt in front of a stud.
 
#23
Just before last Christmas I had a Mum on the phone asking if the Squire Strat with Bolt on Neck came with the bolts, or did she need to go to a hardware store and buy some.

Also had another angry Mum demanding we send an engineer round to tune her sons guitar as it had gone out of tune shortly after delivery.
She thought it was like tuning a piano, and came as part of the one year warranty.
 
#24
I personally am not a store owner or anything but I did hear about this one incident at the local guitar shop. A lady came in looking to buy a guitar for her little kid, she got one of those 99 dollar things with the built in speakers...came back an hour later making a scene yelling, "you sold me a cheap guitar!"
 
#25
"Thank you for calling. How can I help you?"
"Can I speak with Marlene at extension 6075?"
"We don't have a Marlene. You must have the wrong number."
"Oh shoot! I'm sorry! I thought I dialed xxx-xxxx."
"That's the number you called, but we don't have a Marlene here. Sorry."
"Well do you know what number I was supposed to call?"

Working at a long distance company:
"I need you to take that number off my bill. I don't know them."
"Well we show a call connected, but it was for half a minute, which is the minimum we bill for. It looks like it's one digit off from the call you made right afterwards, so you must've dialed wrong."
"But how could I have called them if I don't know them?!"

"Is this People Magazine? I need you to cancel my subscription!"
"You dialed the wrong number ma'am."
"But when I googled People Magazine you came up, and I want my subscription cancelled!!"
"I'm not sure how that's possible, but we're not People Magazine, so I can't help you with that."
"Well can you transfer me?"

"Well I can pay the bill but my husband has the credit card. Can you call him and ask him to call me so I can get the number from him?"

...and I'll just go ahead and toss one of my flubs from telemarketing (long ago) in here...
"Hello, can I speak with Mark Douche?"
"It's Dutch!!!!"
 
#27
I worked tech support.....
Me: Ok Ma'am, I need you to close all of the windows.
Cust: Hold on.

I hear her sit the phone down.

Cust: I closed the windows. Please hurry. I don't have AC and it gets hot in here.
Me:
Invalid Link Removed

My very country wife working as a telemarketer.....

Cust with Latino accent: Hello
Wife: Can I speak to Jesus please?
Cust: I think you mean Heyzoos (Jesus)
Wife: No, I need to talk to Jesus.
Cust: .....
Wife: Can I PLEASE speak to Jesus?
Cust: Yeah, go to church. (hangs up).
 
#28
Guy comes up to the counter to purchase a pack of guitar strings after looking around for a bit. Transaction almost complete, so I ask him if he needs his receipt.

Customer: "Sure, I'll hang onto it. How long is the warranty on these?"
*a few seconds of really awkward silence*
Customer (does a face palm): "Right...they're guitar strings. Pretty stupid of me."
*Big grin on my face*

It was entertaining because both the customer and I had a good laugh about it afterwards. It was only momentary stupidity on his part, and he caught his own mistake. Still makes me laugh when I think about it.
 
#29
I used to do tech support for a voice mail equipment manufacturer. A certain large copier maker decided they wanted to get into telecom & took on our products as a distributor. A new model came out & they bought a bunch of them for their warehouse. The original systems were all multi-processor, & a few months after the launch we came out with a single-processor system. The distributor wanted to downgrade their existing stock, figuring they'd save some money by using the eliminated boards, etc. as spares. There was a documented upgrade path from single- to multi-processor, but no "downgrade". Nevertheless my (non technical) boss gave them the single-processor software & told them it "should work".

Now, since "telecom" wasn't this company's major thrust, the best & brightest of their own techs didn't necessarily migrate over to support of our equipment. That didn't stop them from feeling pretty high on themselves, though, & they would never call our support staff for help on anything. They would always escalate problems up their chain of command until it got all the way to a division VP, who would call the President of our company & give him a butt-chewing. Our pres would then "de-escalate" the problem until it reached the necessary level, where somebody competent would have to call the distributor & find out what the heck they needed.

By the time I got the problem, it was completely out of hand, as usual. I called up the guy doing the "downgrade" & from his description it sounded like the port multiplexer/controllers were misconfigured (these had to be set up differently for single- vs. multi-processor systems). From working with these guys, I knew better than to tell him what the setups should be - he'd just tell me what I wanted to hear - so I asked him to check everything & tell me what was what. He did, & it all checked out OK. I got him to set up a phone line so that I could call into the system via modem & see for myself. Sure enough, classic signs of IPC boards misconfigured, even though they were all correct per the tech. I asked him to humor me once more, & check the boards again. He did, & all were correct.

Just then, I noticed that my modem connection hadn't been dropped, which would have been normal when the system got powered down. I asked the tech if he'd powered down the system before pulling the boards. "Oh, no. These IPC boards aren't in the system, they're laying on the table." The IDIOT wasn't even checking the boards that were actually in the system! Sure enough, the actual boards in the actual system, were actually misconfigured! Problem solved, but I had to set the phone down & walk away for a few minutes.
 
#31
Someone called up asking about a keyboard... Cannot remember which model... She wanted to know if it was possible to remove the floppy disk drive from the keyboard and wondered if the keyboard would still work....

"Hey.. Can I try out this keyboard?"
"Sure"
"It's not working"
-walks over and turns power on-

(In heavy heavy accent) "Do you have Korg MP3?"
"umm... no we do not"
"Do you have a keyboard like that?"
"It is not a keyboard... is an expansion for the PA800.."
"Oh.. (talks about son and I cannot understand him)"
"So can I see the MP3?"
"...We do not that, Sir"
"Do you have any keyboards like that?"
"...Sorry, we do not have anything else like that"
(Long awkward silence)
"Okay... well have a good day, Sir!"


I hate when people say this in general...
"Do you have something that can make beats????"
-Yes, you fool.. its called a metronome... but that is obviously not what you are looking for.


-Customer reads sign- "Please Do NOT Play this keyboard without the assistance of a salesman!" (It is the Roland KR115 Piano priced at 8,500)
-Proceeds to open the lid over keybed and almost breaks it- (The lid is supposed to be lifted slightly, and than slid back)
-Puts the lid back down but leaves it halfway open over the keys-

I have so many of them and I cannot recall them.... This is all within six months
 
#32
I had a guy walk into my store with a SG copy that someone wrote "Gibson" in a paint marker on the headstock. He claimed it was an origional Gibson from "back in the day when they hand made the guitars".... oh, and the headstock was being held on by a wood screw. Priceless.

I had another guy enter the store wanting to sell a Modulus Flea Bass.

Me: Cool Bass, nice shape, how much do you want for it
Customer: $3000
Me: Ummm... I can buy a brand new one for $2500.
Customer: I know.
Me: So why should I pay you $500 MORE than a new one for your used one
Customer: Because it's mine.

Now if this customer WAS Flea, I would have made the deal.... he wasn't.
 
#33
jelwood said:
I personally am not a store owner or anything but I did hear about this one incident at the local guitar shop. A lady came in looking to buy a guitar for her little kid, she got one of those 99 dollar things with the built in speakers...came back an hour later making a scene yelling, "you sold me a cheap guitar!"
Click to expand...

I had a customer complain to my manager that I "talked him into buying a drum set" and the customer was extremly angry over it. My manager looked at him and said "So let me get this straight. My SALESMAN, talked you into BUYING something, and you are angry because he did this, correct?" The customer just nodded and said "yes". So my manager called me over and very loudly in front of the customer, congratulated me for doing my job. :D
 
#35
logicman69 said:
I had a customer complain to my manager that I "talked him into buying a drum set" and the customer was extremly angry over it. My manager looked at him and said "So let me get this straight. My SALESMAN, talked you into BUYING something, and you are angry because he did this, correct?" The customer just nodded and said "yes". So my manager called me over and very loudly in front of the customer, congratulated me for doing my job. :D
Click to expand...

HAH!
 
#37
Bassmanbob said:
I'm a podiatrist. You'd be amazed at what people say as fact when they come into my office. My standard response is slowly becoming, "Stop listening to your friends." I do say it with a smile and as much charm as I can create...
Click to expand...
"I know what's wrong with me. I'm pretty knowlegable about these things. Plus I looked it up on WebMD. I'm just here because I need you to give me (insert treatment preference here--which usually involves a script for a narcotic analgesic or antibiotics)."

Anyway...back to TalkBass. :bassist:
 
#38
At a warehouse for a certain large internet retail site, there were managers that were, of course, completely disconnected from the actual processes of the warehouse and saw only productivity numbers. On the other end of the spectrum were the maintenance guys who fixed the large machinery of the warehouse.

In other words, the maintenance guys really ran the show since they could always find other things to do if a manager wasn't nice enough when asking them to fix something in their department.

At one point, a new manager unfamiliar with this principle yelled at a maintenance guy to fix a machine that had broken down and all but stopped production in the department. Maintenance guy says "Sure, I can do that. But before we fix anything, you've gotta fill out an 'I-Dee-Ten-Tee' form."

Manager spent the better part of the day frantically trying to find an ID10T form.
 
#40
OK since we're not strictly sticking to talking about bass or music stores, I'll toss one out. I guess it's not really funny but it's a true story. A few years ago I was working access control (law enforcement) on a military installation (stateside). One morning a pickup truck with 3 men in the front seat pulls up to the gate. They were civilian contractors who were coming onto the installation for their work day (construction, I think). I ask to see their ID cards. 2 men showed me ID cards...
Me: :eyebrow: "I need to see his ID also.
Driver: "He's with us"
Me: "I can see that. I'll need to see his ID also."
Driver: "He left it at home so we don't have it"
Me: "I'm sorry. I cannot allow him on the installation until I verify his ID"
Driver: "He left it at home!"
Me: "I understand. I'll either need you to go back and get it or let him out of the vehicle now and you other two can proceed."
Driver: "This is B---S---t! We gotta get to work!"
Me: "I understand but getting angry won't change anything. I cannot allow him on without checking his ID"
Driver: "We need him!"
Me: "Then you'll need to take him back home to get his ID"
Driver: "G-- D--- it! This is a waste of time! Why all the tight security around this place!"

(by this time I'm getting pretty irritated with the whole civilian "priviledged" attitude and I raise my voice a bit)

Me: "Because the country is at war! Sir, you are attempting to enter a US military installation during wartime! You should expect his security measures to be enforced! You WILL NOT enter until I have verified the identity of EVERYBODY in your party!"
Driver: "Oh yeah...I forgot about the war. Sorry." :(

Forgot about the war? Douche.

BTW, Happy Veterans Day.
To all my vet brothers and sisters, thanks for your service to our country.
 

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