Venting - LS can't handle playing in a bar that serves shots.

[Ross W. Lovell]

If they had they would initiate the self-firing mechanism and called it a day. For consistency's sake.

Yeah, just one time he wasn't in control........

And drank too much...........

Oh look, a unicorn.......

 

[Paulabass]

The bar serving shots is not the problem. The LS is the problem.

 

[nixdad]

The problem here is that you have multiple problems:
- LS has a problem with alcohol
- LS's wife has a problem with alcohol
- LS appears to have a family which has a problem with alcohol
- LS lacks professionalism and has zero respect for his bandmates
- You'd be kidding yourself to think this is a 1 time scenario.
- Not sure how your bandmates felt about this, but if they saw no issue, that's another problem

I'd fire him now. The sooner you find a replacement the faster you'll get back to work.

Good Luck!

 

[Brad Johnson]

The problem here is that you have multiple problems:
- LS has a problem with alcohol
- LS's wife has a problem with alcohol
- LS appears to have a family which has a problem with alcohol
- LS lacks professionalism and has zero respect for his bandmates
- You'd be kidding yourself to think this is a 1 time scenario.
- Not sure how your bandmates felt about this, but if they saw no issue, that's another problem

I'd fire him now. The sooner you find a replacement the faster you'll get back to work.

Good Luck!

Do you do lottery numbers too?


You surmised all of this from just one incident. No doubt expressed. About folks who are strangers. Could any of this be wrong?

 

[Brad Johnson]

Yeah, just one time he wasn't in control........

And drank too much...........

Oh look, a unicorn.......

These aren't the Droids you're looking for...

 

[Ross W. Lovell]

Do you do lottery numbers too?


You surmised all of this from just one incident. No doubt expressed. About folks who are strangers. Could any of this be wrong?

There are accidents and then there are probabilities.

Your observation skills are wanting.

 

[JohnnyBottom]

One things clear. We all like talking about this drunk ass LS.

 

[7615]

Over the years my greatest disappointments / betrayals - personal and musical - have been at the hands of alcoholics.

I have sympathy for sober friends and families of alcoholics but alcoholics I see as abusers to be avoided.

I know i know it's s disease - but imagine your friend with cancer if they knew the cure was just quit.

Alcoholism has a cure - quit - but the obvious pain in those around them rarely motivates them to quit.

Feel it out - was that the first gig with family - maybe the type of bar is not the problem / maybe it is once he is surrounded by other drunks where he won't be judged is the problem - but no matter how you approach it - you are trying to solve not your problem but his and that is a problem over which you have no control.

Maybe say to another band member casually - gheez Friday was a real s- show hopefully that was a one off- see how they react.

My guess it's his family not the location.





.

 

[7615]

One things clear. We all like talking about this drunk ass LS.

Because nearly all of us have been there.

 

[Brad Johnson]

There are accidents and then there are probabilities.

Your observation skills are wanting.

Says the guy who completely missed the sarcasm. Of course, it couldn't be you.

Where are tomorrow's numbers?

 

[Brad Johnson]

So... get drunk one time = alcoholism? Sweet!

 

[lat]

Over the years my greatest disappointments / betrayals - personal and musical - have been at the hands of alcoholics.

I have sympathy for sober friends and families of alcoholics but alcoholics I see as abusers to be avoided.

I know i know it's s disease - but imagine your friend with cancer if they knew the cure was just quit.

Alcoholism has a cure - quit - but the obvious pain in those around them rarely motivates them to quit.

Feel it out - was that the first gig with family - maybe the type of bar is not the problem / maybe it is once he is surrounded by other drunks where he won't be judged is the problem - but no matter how you approach it - you are trying to solve not your problem but his and that is a problem over which you have no control.

Maybe say to another band member casually - gheez Friday was a real s- show hopefully that was a one off- see how they react.

My guess it's his family not the location.
.

Thanks 7615,

His family has been to gigs where the venue just served beer / wine, so I'm not sure about that. However, there could very well be other family dynamics or recent events that I don't know about that would cause him / them to lose control. Your suggestion about talking to another band member is one that I plan on doing. I wanted some distance from the gig before asking about it, since that can give a better perspective too. I think I'll ask the LG about it, since we shared some looks on stage while the LS was mid-spiral. Will see what he says...

 

[nixdad]

Do you do lottery numbers too?


You surmised all of this from just one incident. No doubt expressed. About folks who are strangers. Could any of this be wrong?

Hi Brad -
Nope, no lottery numbers, and I could certainly be wrong. However, several red flag behaviors were described by the OP, and IME, a tiger rarely changes it's stripes.

 

[7615]

Thanks 7615,

His family has been to gigs where the venue just served beer / wine, so I'm not sure about that. However, there could very well be other family dynamics or recent events that I don't know about that would cause him / them to lose control. Your suggestion about talking to another band member is one that I plan on doing. I wanted some distance from the gig before asking about it, since that can give a better perspective too. I think I'll ask the LG about it, since we shared some looks on stage while the LS was mid-spiral. Will see what he says...

Best of luck - I played with an alcoholic who almost died - brilliant player until the 3rd set. His near death had him go cold turkey. Plays better than ever - right until the end of the night. It was staring at the real possibility of death that made him change course - nothing I said.

 

[Brad Johnson]

Hi Brad -
Nope, no lottery numbers, and I could certainly be wrong. However, several red flag behaviors were described by the OP, and IME, a tiger rarely changes it's stripes.

What stripes? What tiger? That's what to me is almost incredible about this... but I'm not new to the forum and I know that people are entirely comfortable going way out on a limb. You know that you could just as easily be wrong as right yet pick a side anyway. I continue to find that baffling.

Someone I know who has an actual drinking problem recently told me I had one too. Which considering the fact that I rarely drank to excess in the past and haven't drank for decades was pretty funny. So I asked for an example. The example was that I got drunk on my birthday back in the early 80's while visiting my parents' on my birthday.

This person got drunk one time. Which by some folk's math makes them an alcoholic. And the family, which somehow made him drink. And now he's a tiger too.

Wow. Baggage isn't so obvious to the person dragging it around.

 

[Ric5]

So, one of the bands I'm in is made of up older guys, two of which are in the health care industry (so are all about taking care of their bodies) and the other three of us are retired. I'm the youngest, at 56. Needless to say, we've all experienced enough of life that I thought we all would be mature enough to know that when we are gigging, we are working, and keeping your alcohol consumption at a manageable level is required. We have played at other venues where this has never been a noticeable issue.

Apparently I was mistaken.

We had a gig last Saturday at a small bar, which can comfortably seat about 80 people. I had previously booked a gig with my other band that went well, so I booked a gig for this band, expecting things to be even better, since the musicianship in this one is of a higher calibre.

LS has a table of family members at the gig. First set went off well. A little bit of weirdness where the LS called some audibles to the set list, but, if his voice can't handle a song that night, then that's cool, nothing we haven't done several times in the past. But, the way he was acting seemed a bit strange...

Second set is getting a bit loose. Unbeknownst to me at the time, LS's family table is starting into the shots. In hindsight, he has probably partaken before the start of the second set. He's rambling into the mic, getting in my face when I'm trying to focus on my playing, missing his queues, etc... I am getting a bit frustrated, but oh well, things are still basically OK. After the second set, the bar owner gave us the max bonus for the night, since we essentially sold out the place. Everybody's happy.

Second break sees the shots come fast and furious. One of LS's family members is INSISTING on EVERYONE at their table having shots.

LS obliges.

Third set is a bit of a trainwreck. LS is stumbling around on stage, slurring his words, making incoherent statements into the mic, totally f'ing up his lines and missing his queues all over the place. He now thinks that he's the star of the show and everyone in the room is there solely to see him, and we are just supporting his wanking. To top it off, his drunk wife yells out that she wants to hear the song that he didn't want to sing in the first set, so of course now he wants to do it. We shut that down quick, thankfully. All of this has the LG and I (just one guitar and me on bass, plus drummer and keys) trying to compensate, sometimes more successfully than others. I thought I had my frustration in check, but I was gobsmacked by his behaviour. What are we, 19 year olds? I spend the rest of the set just trying to hang on, stay focused and get through it. We hit midnight, our time commitment for playing, and I was off the stage as soon I could. Managed to hold my tongue that night, since telling a drunk guy that he's drunk rarely ends well.

So far, this situation is a one off. Up until now we have just played venues where only beer / wine were served. Seems that LS needs to stay away from venues that serve hard liquor. It may be the charitable thing to give him another chance, but I really didn't like having to compensate for his unprofessionalism. In my books, if you can't tow your own weight, then I'm not going to carry you... Will be making a general statement at some point about the fact that we need to treat gigs like work, and not cross the line with alcohol consumption.

Not sure how to word it so that LS doesn't get his back up. Will word it so that it's in keeping with my signature here, but also want to make sure the message gets through...

How would you all handle it? Or, how have you handled similar situations in the past?

grr... senior citizens acting like teenagers... WTAF?!?

I hate playing with drunks or for drunks … how to handle it … either fire the drunk from the band or join a new band … drunks rarely get better they usually make a lot a promises and usually get worse. And there is nothing less entertaining than a drunk lead singer, and if you get a reputation as a band that drinks too much the bar won't hire you anymore.

Remember when a bar hires you then you are on the clock … don't get drunk when you are working … I was in a good band years ago and we hired a guitarist who drank too much and the bar owner read us the riot act after the gig. We fired the guitarist.

 

[7615]

What stripes? What tiger? That's what to me is almost incredible about this... but I'm not new to the forum and I know that people are entirely comfortable going way out on a limb. You know that you could just as easily be wrong as right yet pick a side anyway. I continue to find that baffling.

Someone I know who has an actual drinking problem recently told me I had one too. Which considering the fact that I rarely drank to excess in the past and haven't drank for decades was pretty funny. So I asked for an example. The example was that I got drunk on my birthday back in the early 80's while visiting my parents' on my birthday.

This person got drunk one time. Which by some folk's math makes them an alcoholic. And the family, which somehow made him drink. And now he's a tiger too.

Wow. Baggage isn't so obvious to the person dragging it around.

He was at work and was s..t faced - and it was a man in his 60's who did that, not some young newbie. When I was 18 I drank at a gig - not s..t faced- and at the end of the night the band said my timing was terrible all night. I have never drank at a gig ever since.

A man of 60 - honest mistake? Considering co-workers - he is working -never occurred to him?

You may be right ... if I was a betting man...

 

[Darth Moley]

Personally, I'd talk to the rest of the band about it and see what they think, and unless they are set on firing him, I'd have a calm talk with the LS, perhaps from the perspective of concern for his well-being, and see what's going on. Maybe something happened. No excuse, I know, though if it's a one-off incident it'd be a shame to raise the drama levels any higher than necessary. That said, I would also make it clear that this sort of thing cannot happen again.

 

[Mike Whitfield]

He was at work and was s..t faced - and it was a man in his 60's who did that, not some young newbie. When I was 18 I drank at a gig - not s..t faced- and at the end of the night the band said my timing was terrible all night. I have never drank at a gig ever since.

A man of 60 - honest mistake? Considering co-workers - he is working -never occurred to him?

You may be right ... if I was a betting man...

I turned 59 today and I promise you, I still step on the occasional stupid mine. Not as often, and not usually with commas, and no longer with alcohol (I drink maybe six to twelve drinks per year on average, even though I honestly love bourbon whiskey) but the possibility of doing something stupid yet endures. This behavior would concern me enough to broach it with the other band members of longer standing and want an intervention to make clear the band's limits on inebriation to prevent a repeat, but one point on a curve isn't a curve; it's just a point, which could come from anywhere and go anywhere. There are a LOT of curves passing through that point which belong to alcoholics, but plenty of others do not. This is especially true with hard liquor, as each shot makes the next shot that much easier to justify. This is why alcoholics typically either become teetotallers or remain alcoholics.

 

[mikewalker]

Maybe he thought the show needed a little more "show" - and it was all just an act?