What’s up with this?

[EdO.]

I got a call a month ago about a gig in a neighboring city that’s tomorrow evening with a band I’ve played with before.
I agreed to do the gig although I have weekly church band rehearsals on Thursdays. I asked about the set list and planned rehearsal dates and place. “I’ll get back at you about rehearsing and I’ll send out the set list in the morning.”.
A week later I texted the BL about the set list that I was to receive. “Oh, I blew out my knee and was out of it!”.
Fast Forward: One week before the gig.
I get a text from the BL that the planned rehearsal ran into issues with the location. So, seeking another location in progress.
I volunteered to have the lone rehearsal at my house because the BL couldn’t find another location.
As of yesterday, I’ve not been given the name of the venue and it’s exact location.
Last night I sent a text to the BL asking for the exact location and the setup time frame.
No response as of today at the time of this post! The gig is tomorrow.
What’s up with this scenario?

Lots of red flags here. Unless I'm given what I need to do the gig respectably (songlist at a minimum) no way I'm involving myself in that mess. Want me to fill in, give me the tools to do it respectably or find someone else. Period. Help ME to help YOU if you want my help at all or call someone else.

In situations like that I have to say bluntly - I need "this" "this" and "this" by tonight, or I'm not going to be able to do the gig.

Exactly.

he gig is tomorrow - too late to back out.

No it's not. How many red flags are required before you come to the realization the guy is a flake? No songlist, no gig location, no nothing. Too late to back out? Should have already left him a message that you're out.

Obviously if he doesn't hear anything. But calling to cancel the day before the gig (especially when he has had his concerns for over a week) is not good form.

Only if he'd met the criteria and you're just bailing on him. No criteria met, no fill in bass player, simple as that. OP sent over a week trying to just make contact and nothing in return. THAT is "not good form" where I come from. Hard pass and blocked from any future consideration. Move on.

 

[ardgedee]

He said he doesn't have anyone's contact info but the BL.

Fair enough. Missed that.

 

[Nightman]

Okay, I got a call from the BL at 4:45 pm. He stated the gig is still on (I’ll post pics from there tomorrow evening).
He is sending out an updated songs list!
So, I asked about him not responding to my earlier emails with vital gig info. He states something about his school where works, as if to suggest he is so bogged down that he can’t give me the info I asked for.
I went in on him a little deep about not respecting other folks time and concerns trying to do something in support of him. He’s like, “Yea, you right! I hear you!”. But the sad part about this is his lack of processing the info.
So, I’m going to do the gig tomorrow and afterwards break the ties that bonds us.
Plus, I found out that he has contacted a few people we know and told them about the gig, where and what time to be there. But he goes ghost on me and blames the school where he works.
Sad!

 

[friskinator]

You can’t care more than they do.

 

[Killing Floor]

Just show up with 2 STV/fridge dressed in shorts and boots and fishnets and act like they had time to tell you what to wear.

 

[gln1955]

Okay, I got a call from the BL at 4:45 pm. He stated the gig is still on (I’ll post pics from there tomorrow evening).
He is sending out an updated songs list!
So, I asked about him not responding to my earlier emails with vital gig info. He states something about his school where works, as if to suggest he is so bogged down that he can’t give me the info I asked for.
I went in on him a little deep about not respecting other folks time and concerns trying to do something in support of him. He’s like, “Yea, you right! I hear you!”. But the sad part about this is his lack of processing the info.
So, I’m going to do the gig tomorrow and afterwards break the ties that bonds us.
Plus, I found out that he has contacted a few people we know and told them about the gig, where and what time to be there. But he goes ghost on me and blames the school where he works.
Sad!

A text to tell you where and when takes two minutes if you are a slow typist. Nobody is too busy for that. It's a real lack of respect for your time and effort.

 

[DJ Bebop]

A text to tell you where and when takes two minutes if you are a slow typist. Nobody is too busy for that. It's a real lack of respect for your time and effort.

 

[Nightman]

You can’t care more than they do.

WOW! That was powerful.
I do take what I do seriously. I just require that I do a good job at my best abilities. I guess I just expect the same from others. But that is exactly right! Another slap on the head with a 2x4.
My wife tells me all the time that I’m in too deep and it’s not that serious, and I would think she just doesn’t understand. But she has been on point all the while.

Learning how to not give a crap takes some effort and experience. I’m not too sure I’d be successful at that, but I do get your point.
Care, but with caution and restraint. It’s not that serious!

Learning is a never ending process.

 

[BlueTalon]

Okay, I got a call from the BL at 4:45 pm. He stated the gig is still on (I’ll post pics from there tomorrow evening).
He is sending out an updated songs list!
So, I asked about him not responding to my earlier emails with vital gig info. He states something about his school where works, as if to suggest he is so bogged down that he can’t give me the info I asked for.
I went in on him a little deep about not respecting other folks time and concerns trying to do something in support of him. He’s like, “Yea, you right! I hear you!”. But the sad part about this is his lack of processing the info.
So, I’m going to do the gig tomorrow and afterwards break the ties that bonds us.
Plus, I found out that he has contacted a few people we know and told them about the gig, where and what time to be there. But he goes ghost on me and blames the school where he works.
Sad!

If the other musicians seem squared away, mentally and musically, make sure you get their contact info. Could come in handy.

 

[brianrost]

The gig is tomorrow - too late to back out.

No need to back out since the OP has no idea where it is.

 

[Oldbasslover]

I got a call a month ago about a gig in a neighboring city that’s tomorrow evening with a band I’ve played with before.
I agreed to do the gig although I have weekly church band rehearsals on Thursdays. I asked about the set list and planned rehearsal dates and place. “I’ll get back at you about rehearsing and I’ll send out the set list in the morning.”.
A week later I texted the BL about the set list that I was to receive. “Oh, I blew out my knee and was out of it!”.
Fast Forward: One week before the gig.
I get a text from the BL that the planned rehearsal ran into issues with the location. So, seeking another location in progress.
I volunteered to have the lone rehearsal at my house because the BL couldn’t find another location.
As of yesterday, I’ve not been given the name of the venue and it’s exact location.
Last night I sent a text to the BL asking for the exact location and the setup time frame.
No response as of today at the time of this post! The gig is tomorrow.
What’s up with this scenario?

What did you do to this guy to make him feel like he needs to punish you like this???

sorry Nightman, couldn’t resist. Long time no talk. Sorry you are being treated so poorly. Shouldn’t happen to anybody.

 

[Leigh Semmens]

I would have given up on this well before the now with. "Sorry, you didn't get back to me and I now have other arrangements". FWIW if I get a call to fill in (at Church) as I'm arriving for said service, provided I have the charts, I'd be happy to fill in. If I get asked a month in advance and then nothing else, not even location, times, or set list. Despite asking, I' will probably just forget about it.

 

[Space Pickle]

i have nothing to suggest other than that i think you should try to incorporate the nightman and dayman songs into your gig somehow

 

[Lava]

I wouldn’t answer the phone or return texts anymore. I can’t imagine what trying to get paid is going to be like with the person.

 

[Oldbasslover]

That line made me laugh. Can't play if you don't know where the show is!

Does he have memory issues? Drugs/booze? Pretty bizarre situation.

I laughed too, but I stopped at the comma….

 

[N4860]

WOW! That was powerful.
I do take what I do seriously. I just require that I do a good job at my best abilities. I guess I just expect the same from others. But that is exactly right! Another slap on the head with a 2x4.
My wife tells me all the time that I’m in too deep and it’s not that serious, and I would think she just doesn’t understand. But she has been on point all the while.

Learning how to not give a crap takes some effort and experience. I’m not too sure I’d be successful at that, but I do get your point.
Care, but with caution and restraint. It’s not that serious!

Learning is a never ending process.

While maybe true to an extent, I wouldn't necessarily try to change too much. Sometimes a band needs someone to care too much. I bet you would be a much better BL than this guy you are dealing with.

 

[themickster]

I got a call a month ago about a gig in a neighboring city that’s tomorrow evening with a band I’ve played with before.
I agreed to do the gig although I have weekly church band rehearsals on Thursdays. I asked about the set list and planned rehearsal dates and place. “I’ll get back at you about rehearsing and I’ll send out the set list in the morning.”.
A week later I texted the BL about the set list that I was to receive. “Oh, I blew out my knee and was out of it!”.
Fast Forward: One week before the gig.
I get a text from the BL that the planned rehearsal ran into issues with the location. So, seeking another location in progress.
I volunteered to have the lone rehearsal at my house because the BL couldn’t find another location.
As of yesterday, I’ve not been given the name of the venue and it’s exact location.
Last night I sent a text to the BL asking for the exact location and the setup time frame.
No response as of today at the time of this post! The gig is tomorrow.
What’s up with this scenario?

If he doesn't tell you where it is, you can't go. It won't be your fault.

 

[DrBnz]

Sounds a lot more like what we did when we were kids and playing house parties. I guess we're gonna just show up and jam. If ya knew where to show up to.

 

[Carl Hillman]

Okay, I got a call from the BL at 4:45 pm. He stated the gig is still on.

So, I’m going to do the gig tomorrow and afterwards break the ties that bonds us.

Don't tell him you'll never work for him again.

Just tell him that the next time he calls you with a date, you won't be able to tell him whether you can do it until 4:45PM the night before the gig.

 

[DrayMiles]

I have a rule in that situation...

Ask pertinent questions, if you don't get reasonable action within a sensible time frame...

Then the onus is on the organizers. If you're getting paid, AND the gig ACTUALLY happens...

AND you want to be bothered...

It's not your fault or responsibility for the results. Get paid, do the best job possible, don't get emotionally drawn into the BS and leave... Be passionate about playing music, but not if it's tied to chaos.

Learn to disconnect, learn that the organizer is a lesson in avoidance. Therefore, in the future, price yourself out of the gig. If the gig paid $300 for the night, in the future ask for $450.00... With $100 up front as soon as you walk into the venue for time, effort and gas.
Time wasters will have you look up and the next thing you know, you've lost 5 years out of your life dealing with foolishness...

Good Luck...