What’s up with this?

[Nightman]

I got a call a month ago about a gig in a neighboring city that’s tomorrow evening with a band I’ve played with before.
I agreed to do the gig although I have weekly church band rehearsals on Thursdays. I asked about the set list and planned rehearsal dates and place. “I’ll get back at you about rehearsing and I’ll send out the set list in the morning.”.
A week later I texted the BL about the set list that I was to receive. “Oh, I blew out my knee and was out of it!”.
Fast Forward: One week before the gig.
I get a text from the BL that the planned rehearsal ran into issues with the location. So, seeking another location in progress.
I volunteered to have the lone rehearsal at my house because the BL couldn’t find another location.
As of yesterday, I’ve not been given the name of the venue and it’s exact location.
Last night I sent a text to the BL asking for the exact location and the setup time frame.
No response as of today at the time of this post! The gig is tomorrow.
What’s up with this scenario?

 

[two fingers]

Nothing more to it than that guy is a flake. Period.

Couple days delay with a knee injury? No problem. Everything else is just being slack on his part. No other explanation.

 

[Nightman]

I try to be understanding and not pressure folks based on my needs and preferences, but it is just a bad way to run a band or anything, really!

 

[Joe Nerve]

In situations like that I have to say bluntly - I need "this" "this" and "this" by tonight, or I'm not going to be able to do the gig.

And I'd add that I'm fine with not rehearsing. For me that's always a plus.

 

[buldog5151bass]

If you have played with them before without incident, you know what you are getting into.

The gig is tomorrow - too late to back out. Next time, if you have concerns, follow @Joe Nerve 's advice.

 

[WI Short Scaler]

In situations like that I have to say bluntly - I need "this" "this" and "this" by tonight, or I'm not going to be able to do the gig.

And I'd add that I'm fine with not rehearsing. For me that's always a plus.

This is great advice, tell them I need the following info "....." by "....." or I'm out.

And after this I'd be blocking him wherever possible for the future too.

 

[Nightman]

If you have played with them before without incident, you know what you are getting into.

The gig is tomorrow - too late to back out. Next time, if you have concerns, follow @Joe Nerve 's advice.

The BL is the vocalist. I’ve played behind him on many gigs since 2019 with other musicians, but he has always left me wondering where his head is.
It’s a Drums/Keys/Bass/Vocalist band playing RnB, Soul & a little Jazz. The guitarist that was part of the original band died earlier this year.
I’ve only played one gig with the new keys and drummer, so not rehearsing with this new core isn’t a comfort zone for me.
I agree, pulling out now is a little late, but I don’t know where the gig is either.

 

[Nightman]

This is great advice, tell them I need the following info "....." by "....." or I'm out.

And after this I'd be blocking him wherever possible for the future too.

Doing exactly that is my goal with this BL.
The band sounds really nice and the two new guys are head-on-straight musicians.
I want to think that the BL desires more gigs than what he can find and hangs up in the clouds when things are actually still on the ground.

Like I said, I try to be understanding, but the advice given is the same I would give. It’s clear to me that I need to move forward with more set rules for my engagement.

 

[mwbassace]

If you have played with them before without incident, you know what you are getting into.

The gig is tomorrow - too late to back out. Next time, if you have concerns, follow @Joe Nerve 's advice.

He wouldn't be backing out, can't show up to a gig when you don't know where it's at. lol

 

[dbsfgyd1]

I got a call a month ago about a gig in a neighboring city that’s tomorrow evening with a band I’ve played with before.
I agreed to do the gig although I have weekly church band rehearsals on Thursdays. I asked about the set list and planned rehearsal dates and place. “I’ll get back at you about rehearsing and I’ll send out the set list in the morning.”.
A week later I texted the BL about the set list that I was to receive. “Oh, I blew out my knee and was out of it!”.
Fast Forward: One week before the gig.
I get a text from the BL that the planned rehearsal ran into issues with the location. So, seeking another location in progress.
I volunteered to have the lone rehearsal at my house because the BL couldn’t find another location.
As of yesterday, I’ve not been given the name of the venue and it’s exact location.
Last night I sent a text to the BL asking for the exact location and the setup time frame.
No response as of today at the time of this post! The gig is tomorrow.
What’s up with this scenario?

‘I don’t know what is up with that, but I’d say the prospects of you playing this gig is definitely down.

For me at this point, unless the BL came up with a boatload of cash paid in advance, I would not be interested playing the gig for three reasons, one I don’t work for irresponsible people, secondly I wouldn’t be adequately prepared, and finally, I’d have seriously reservations about him (ahem) remembering to pay me for services rendered.

Yeah, it’s a drag when gigs fall through, but look at the bright side, you now have some found time to spend with your family, friends, or a trip to the the nearest music store to work on building up some gas…

 

[turf3]

Sounds like you're gettin' ready to go record Harlem Fuss and Minor Drag.

 

[DanBass]

Run. It can only get worse.

 

[Nightman]

Okay, so I sent the BL another text at 12:00 noon indicating that since I’m not receiving any further info about the gig nor responses to my previous email, I’m assuming the gig has issues and I’m moving forward with attending my regular Thursday night rehearsal with the church band.
I’ve not heard back, yet! Now I’m a little more concerned. Unfortunately, I don’t have contact info of the other two musicians. I don’t know where they live nor where the BL lives.
I’ll need to call to make sure he is physically okay and hadn’t come into some other misfortune. I forgot about the Texas Elementary School shootings, and he is an Elementary School teacher.

Update:

I just called and got his sad sounding voice greetings.
Man, his greetings really sounds like he is in a bad place, mentally.

 

[Poobini]

Okay, so I sent the BL another text at 12:00 noon indicating that since I’m not receiving any further info about the gig nor responses to my previous email, I’m assuming the gig has issues and I’m moving forward with attending my regular Thursday night rehearsal with the church band.
I’ve not heard back, yet! Now I’m a little more concerned. Unfortunately, I don’t have contact info of the other two musicians. I don’t know where they live nor where the BL lives.
I’ll need to call to make sure he is physically okay and hadn’t come into some other misfortune. I forgot about the Texas Elementary School shootings, and he is a Elementary School teacher.

Update:

I just called and got his sad sounding voice greetings.
Man, his greetings really sounds like he is in a bad place, mentally.

In this case... I'd give him benefit of the doubt. Even if yesterday's unfortunate events didn't directly affect him, it still has a major, MAJOR impact on his line of work and almost certainly his peace of mind.

 

[aprod]

I would go passive aggressive on this one and not initiate any further communication. Its their gig, if they can't make it happen well...

 

[Nightman]

In this case... I'd give him benefit of the doubt. Even if yesterday's unfortunate events didn't directly affect him, it still has a major, MAJOR impact on his line of work and almost certainly his peace of mind.

Oh, no doubt! I already feel bad about my insensitivity.

 

[Poobini]

Oh, no doubt! I already feel bad about my insensitivity.

There's no reason to feel bad about how you've handled it up to this point! Up to now it's definitely been odd behavior - now it's justified. Water under the bridge, regarding the gig, but I'd reckon now it's worth just being a shoulder to lean on.

 

[Nightman]

There's no reason to feel bad about how you've handled it up to this point! Up to now it's definitely been odd behavior - now it's justified. Water under the bridge, regarding the gig, but I'd reckon now it's worth just being a shoulder to lean on.

Good point and excellent advice.
I did leave a message when I called. He isn’t taking calls and obviously not returning them. So……

 

[sawzalot]

Hm if he can’t remember to tell you where the gig is he’s likely to forget to pay you as well. If you ever find out where the gig is, anticipate it being a freebie.

 

[Nightman]

Hm if he can’t remember to tell you where the gig is he’s likely to forget to pay you as well. If you ever find out where the gig is, anticipate it being a freebie.

There hasn’t been an issue with him not paying me and he knows I don’t play for free.
He has certainly been impacted by something or someone. At this point, I’m moving on because the clock on the wall is still running and I’m committed to other events that I’m sure have not been canceled.