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What's the funniest joke you know?

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#27
soulgeezer said:
harajuku_IMG_1334.jpg
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Looking hot Geezster, you're on the left, right?
 
#30
stedtale said:
you can never outrun me.

mainly because I don't run.
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Dude, as hot as I am (check the pic), I think it would be you chasing me! ;) :D

Another favorite joke of mine:

Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar and sits down next to a horse. The horse turns and says, “Why the long face?” The bartender spins around and yells, “Hey!”
 
#32
A barber gave a haircut to a priest one day. When the priest tried to pay for the haircut, but the barber refused, saying, "you do God's work." The next morning the barber found a dozen bibles at the door to his shop.

A policeman came to the barber for a haircut, and again the barber refused to accept his money. "You protect the public," he said. The next morning the barber found a dozen doughnuts at the door to his shop.

A lawyer came to the barber for a haircut, and again the barber refused payment, saying, "you serve justice." The next morning, the barber found a dozen lawyers standing in line, waiting for a free haircut.
 
#36
Now for a bad stereotype-based joke...

The Lone Ranger and Tonto were out on patrol one very hot afternoon. The Lone Ranger turns to his faithful sidekick and sayd,

"Whaddya say we go get us a nice cold drink, old friend?"

"Hmm, chemotherapy, sounds good." Replies Tonto.

So they pull up to a saloon, tie their steeds to the hitchin' post and head in to soothe their parched throats.

All of a sudden and old prospector bursts throught the swinging doors and asks,
"Anyone in h'yar ridin' a big white horse?"

The Lone Ranger looks up from his drink and says,
"Why yes, good citizen, that is my fine horse, Silver. Why do you ask?"

The old prospector replies,
"Well, he in a bad way, sir. He's sweatin' up a storm and actin' like he's a'gonna die of heat stroke!"

Tonto looks puts his hand on the Lone Ranger's shoulder and says,
"You sit. I will take care of this."

The Lone Ranger accepts his friend's offer and returns to his drink. Meanwhile, Tonto walks out and examines Silver. Yes, indeed, he was overheated and needed help. So Tonto begins to run around Silver creating a small, but useful breeze that slowly, but surely begins to cool down the overheated horse.

Back inside the saloon the Lone Ranger is chatting up the local dancing girls when all of a sudden another prospector bursts through the swinging saloon doors.

"Anyone in h'yar ridin' a big white horse?"

The Lone Ranger, slightly perturbed by the interruption, turns and says,
"Why YES, good citizen, that is my fine steed, Silver and yes, I know, he's in a bad way - sweatin' and complain'..."

The old prospector says,
"Nope, that ain't it, smart guy. Ya left yer injun runnin'!"
 
#37
I was looking through my old emails so I could just cut & paste the joke in here, but I found this one and once I stopped laughing I decided to use it instead ....


A little boy was in his aunt's wedding. As he was coming down the aisle he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd, alternating between bride's side and groom's side. While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roar. So it went, step, step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR, all the way down the aisle.

As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by the time he reached the pulpit. The little boy, however, however, was getting more and more distressed from all the laughing as he made his way down the aisle. By the time he reached the pulpit, he was in tears himself.

While the rest of the wedding party came down the aisle, the minister asked him what was doing. The child could hardly get it out between sobs, but he was finally able to tell the minister, "I was just doing what Aunt Sue asked me to do. I was being the Ring Bear."
 
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