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What's the funniest joke you know?
- Thread starter soulgeezer
- Start date
- Status
I always liked the one with the bear and the rabbit. They both enter a clearing in the woods to take their morning dump. They bear says to the rabbit..........do you have trouble with POOP sticking to your fur?? The rabbit replies, not why do you ask. The bear grabbed the rabbbit and wiped his AZZZZ with him
Man, I'm glad someone posted this one before me. That is my fav. joke by far. Although, I never understood why the rabbit would say no. If it doesn't stick to the rabbits fur, why would the bear pick up the rabbit? I always make the rabbit say "sometimes". But that's just me.
What does woman have two of and a cow have four of?
Legs
What does a dog "do" and a man step into?
Pants
Legs
What does a dog "do" and a man step into?
Pants
About 2 weeks after Buddy Rich died, a bass player called his house and asked to speak with him. The person on the phone said, "Buddy's dead, everyone knows that.... why do you all keep calling?"
Bass player says.... I just like hearing it.
Bass player says.... I just like hearing it.
A little boy says "Daddy, what does a vagina look like?"
The father says "Well son, before sex a vagina looks like a rose with a soft velvety texture and the aroma of perfume"
The little boy says "What about after sex?"
The father says "Have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonnaise?"
The father says "Well son, before sex a vagina looks like a rose with a soft velvety texture and the aroma of perfume"
The little boy says "What about after sex?"
The father says "Have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonnaise?"
What do you get when you cross a cat with a canary?
(cat)(canary)sin(theta)...
NERD!!
Frank and his friend Bob are out playing golf. It was a beautiful day and they had the course to them selves.
On the fifth hole Frank hits his ball way right into a field and Bob hits his ball way left into the woods. Frank searched and found his ball resting in a patch of buttercup flowers, he was happy that he had a good shot to the green and pulled out his five iron and started taking practice swings cutting off the heads of the buttercups.
Suddenly a huge woman appeared from a huge cloud of smoke and shouted at Frank "I'm Mother Nature and you are destroying my beautiful creations. As a punishment for your act of destruction, I 'll make it so you will never enjoy butter again. You will hate the sight, smell, and taste of butter for the rest of your life!" With a roar and a cloud of smoke the huge woman vanished.
Frank was in shock and ran to find his friend Bob. "Bob, Bob where are you?" Frank yelled. Bob answered from the woods on the left side of the fairway "I'm over here, I found my ball in some pussywillows!" Frank yelled back "For God's sake get out of there and do not hurt the pussywillows!"
On the fifth hole Frank hits his ball way right into a field and Bob hits his ball way left into the woods. Frank searched and found his ball resting in a patch of buttercup flowers, he was happy that he had a good shot to the green and pulled out his five iron and started taking practice swings cutting off the heads of the buttercups.
Suddenly a huge woman appeared from a huge cloud of smoke and shouted at Frank "I'm Mother Nature and you are destroying my beautiful creations. As a punishment for your act of destruction, I 'll make it so you will never enjoy butter again. You will hate the sight, smell, and taste of butter for the rest of your life!" With a roar and a cloud of smoke the huge woman vanished.
Frank was in shock and ran to find his friend Bob. "Bob, Bob where are you?" Frank yelled. Bob answered from the woods on the left side of the fairway "I'm over here, I found my ball in some pussywillows!" Frank yelled back "For God's sake get out of there and do not hurt the pussywillows!"
I have a Star Trek username and avatar... What did you expect, fart jokes?
No, I guess you're right, nerd-on!
I have a Star Trek username and avatar... What did you expect, fart jokes?
So in other words, you don't know any funny jokes...
An old lady walks into a sex shop and says in a shrill voice "Where are all the dildos?"
A person behind the counter says "lady, they're on the wall"
She looks and says "ok, I'll take a red one!"
The person behind the counter says "No lady, the dildos are on the wall NEXT to the fire extinguisher"
A person behind the counter says "lady, they're on the wall"
She looks and says "ok, I'll take a red one!"
The person behind the counter says "No lady, the dildos are on the wall NEXT to the fire extinguisher"
- Jan 29, 2007
- 5,123
- 2
- Disclosures
- Endorsing Artist: Red Zone Effects
Q: How many members of the USS Enterprise does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Six: Scotty to get on the intercom when the light goes out and say "I canna do it, Cap'n! These bulbs are stoon dead", Spock to tell Kirk he is proceeding illogically, McCoy to say "They're dead, Jim!" and "Dammit Jim-I'm a doctor not an electrician!!", Kirk to screw it in, and two red-shirt security men to die in the process.
A: Six: Scotty to get on the intercom when the light goes out and say "I canna do it, Cap'n! These bulbs are stoon dead", Spock to tell Kirk he is proceeding illogically, McCoy to say "They're dead, Jim!" and "Dammit Jim-I'm a doctor not an electrician!!", Kirk to screw it in, and two red-shirt security men to die in the process.
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