When is it time to hang it up?

[el murdoque]

I've taken a hiatus from playing in bands for a couple of years once.
There was never a need for me to give that time a label. I was still a bassist and still technically between bands - but not actively doing anything to find something new. Something new found me a couple of years later when a friend called me because someone was putting a band together for a single event.
IMO, there is no need to actively decide whether or not to give up for good.

 

[bolophonic]

My band activity was just ramping back up in 2019, and even though I’ve found plenty of other activities to keep me busy in the past year, I am dying to get together and create music again. A number of my co-creators have been vaccinated and I have my first appointment tomorrow. I feel confident that we will be more active if the pandemic continues to recede. But man, I’ve only picked up my bass at random intervals for the last year. My chops are... suboptimal.

 

[Porkchop2]

Lemmy Kilmister said: "If you think your too old to rock and roll, you are". That stuck with me. Its a state of mine.

I left my steady gigging band of over a decade back in 2017 to focus on my health but still did several fill in shows with them up until COVID. My health is better and I'm not sure I want to go back to the old cover band scenario any more. I've put together a decent home studio and have been easing into recording music again, and started to dabble in recording other bands (producing) just before Covid hit. Looking back, after doing what was probably 1000ish shows in my playing career, I don't have the same drive to do it anymore. There are so many other things I'm interested in musically and other. I get a bit more satisfaction and sense of freedom it seems without the commitment of a gigging band. Feels less like work and more about the art of it.

 

[Bunk McNulty]

My Pop was a professional bassist. He used to say that old musicians don't stop gigging; their telephone simply stops ringing. In my case, although it still rings occasionally, I now have far less interest in answering the call.

There it is. When nobody wants to play with me anymore, I'll know I'm done.

Seriously: I had more than a few moments of doubt and pain over the last 12 months. But...while I was home feeling sorry for myself, my fearless BL kept going. She did a lot of outdoor stuff as "Redhead Trio" (low cost) which made her a little cash and kept the name in view. She also invented the "Redhead Mixup Band" which was basically her and a band of subs. When I told her I wasn't going to do any indoor gigs until I'd been vaccinated, she told me "Let me know when you're ready to come back." And now I've been fully vaccinated and I am back.

We have challenges: Our fabulous sound guy, who I came to trust completely, retired. He's a drummer, and he was just bored with the sound job. At the same time, the band is taking a 50% (or worse) cut in pay. We understand this: We're pretty happy that those venues who've hired us for gigs this summer are still open; they all took a tremendous financial hit themselves. It also means we're not going to replace our sound guy, which means we'll be back to lifting and hauling ourselves. In a typical year, we'd play 50-60 gigs. At the moment, we're booked for 12, all but the Halloween gig outdoors, and even those could become iffy if COVID cases start rising again. I did miss the money, and I'm less than thrilled about playing for half price, but, bottom line, going to my first rehearsal in months this past Sunday, I was so relieved and happy to be there, I started tearing up on the first song. I do love this music-making thing.

 

[Slough Feg Bass]

It all depends on if there is a burning ember somewhere inside you that sparks the desire to make music.
Like you might chill for a while, no bands, no amps, just relaxing, and then you hear some sweet Duck Dunn bass part on the radio or something, and you can't get it out of your head until you go home and play around with it on your bass...next thing you know you're on the phone with a drummer setting up a time to jam.
If the fire burns, there is no running away from it, but if you don't feel the need, then consider yourself lucky!

 

[T-boneParish]

when is it time to hang it up.

Hang it up when you're not having fun.

If you are into it, the audience will be into it.

If you are not into it, the audience will not be into it.

For my part, I hung it up after several ambitious years because I was no longer having fun. Then I came back to music a few years later. Since I came back, I'm having a lot more fun.

Music is always going to be out there. It will be there for you whenever you want to re-engage. There's no harm in walking away for a while.

 

[noise86]

Outside medically influenced, I'd say if there would ever come a time it's not fun or exciting any longer would be a good indicator, but really only you can decide. I took numerous years off from the active musician and playing gigs role to recharge however never lost playing as a hobby or jamming here and there with a few friends to get my fix. I'm a firm believer that life is too short to spend it on just one thing so if you have other things you enjoy by all means. As long as you don't sell all your stuff or completely write it off you can always come back to bass.

 

[Jack Butler]

For me, it was just about changing the situation, not about "retiring". I can't see ever stopping completely, even if at some point it's only me sitting on the couch strumming an acoustic. At 51 and with 2 young kids, I have less than zero interest in playing 4 hour bar gigs where I get home at 3am. Pre-covid, I subbed at a church about once a month, played a coffeehouse type gig/open blues jam once or so a month, and some basement/porch jams for fun if someone asked. That was great for me and is what I will return to when things open back up. Plus I have other hobbies so that works for me. When my kids are older and I'm retired, probably will increase playing out some, maybe?

 

[Joedog]

There is no right answer (from others). Only you can tell when it's right for YOU. No way I'd make a decision like that based on opinions of internet strangers!

 

[BassDad1964]

I'm 57, got my first shot and getting the second next Saturday. I have already had covid. The band has been sitting at home since last October. During the off time I decided that I would 1. Practice a lot 2. play with pre recorded tunes and 3. relax. The practice started off strong then kinda fizzled. The playing along with tunes got really old pretty fast. It's playing with other musicians that gets me going. I love playing bass but playing bass by yourself is no match for playing with other instruments. It's hard to be the foundation when there is no house.

We got together this past Sunday for the first time since October and it was a blast. A real guitar and real keys and real drums. There just is no adequate substitute. It's what I want to do. It gives me great joy. I want to keep doing it until I can't do it anymore. I really don't care very much where or for how much.

That's me. Everyone is unique and everyone has their own lists of must have in order to put forth the effort. My must haves are other musicians playing with me. If I can't have that one day then that will be the day I step down and sell the bass.

 

[baileyboy]

I've always had lots of other interests, and playing bass/gigging is only one of them. Because of this, I could easily say goodbye to it. Like you, I am not feeling as enthused as I used to. I do think, going forward, venue and crowd behavior will never be the same, and may shape how I feel about it all. Not quite sure what to expect, but I will hang in there for now. Our band just started to add some summer gigs, so will see how it goes.

 

[Rib 13]

A serious question that I'm pondering...when is it time to hang it up.

I've been playing bass for 25 years, and for 20 of those years, I've been playing in bands on stages and in clubs. In the last band I was in, we came screeching to a halt as COVID shutdowns cancelled our last show mid-March of last year.

Since then, I've simply found other activities that I enjoy as much as playing bass. But, the past year has also basically laid the band I was in to rest, with some members being too freaked out to play out (especially in our state where mandates got relaxed, even before vaccines were taking off and across the board, many folks don't follow any sort of protocol once alcohol is involved).

I've gone through droughts before, but this somehow feels different. The pool of folks who I know to team up with keeps getting smaller and smaller and at this point, I'm not sure who I'd start a new project with. I'm also not sure what the end goal would be. I've really enjoyed entertaining crowds and music has been front and center of many of my friendships. It was never about making any money at it, and Lord knows we didn't. But, I'm hitting an age where I reflect a lot more and I think about what a show or set might look like and I'm just not feeling the balance in enthusiasm versus what you generally put up with in taking on live gigs.

I've witnessed a number of my friends that still perform, share surveys among their audiences about comfort levels of going out to see live music soon, and none of the findings seem re-assuring.

I suppose I'm answering my own question, but I really am asking for some additional perspective. Am I the only one feeling this? I have really enjoyed playing and it's sort of defined me throughout my late teens and most of my adult life. I'll still sit and strum a little acoustic guitar for my wife and dog every now and then, but throughout the past year, we've been more likely to find enjoyment in other stuff.

Redirect your bass playing. Reinvent what youd like to do musically. "Playing bass guitar" and "Playing in a cover band" are mutually exclusive terms that do not (by law ) have to associate with each other

 

[SaucyJackBass]

I'll answer this. Because I think the music industry is almost completely dead.

I am late 50s. Been playing with the same original band now for 10 years. I have been part of 3 albums (they have 5 total) and we are 75% done with our 6th.

We have always used the stage to work out the songs, to try and figure out what people like and what needs additional work. Our last show was Feb 21, 2020, so we are going into this album fairly blind. We decided to put our "works in progress" up on our website (www.lidauna.com/music) and try to get feedback. We have gotten almost zero traffic.

In the past year, almost everyone I talk to is "I stopped listening to music, I only listen to podcasts or Audible books". No one owns a stereo, CD Player, or even an MP3 player. They stream only and adding new stuff to their playlist is so cumbersome that they just listen to the same crap (or not at all).

We do all the work. We track everything, mix everything, and master everything ourselves. Because of this we can do it fairly cheaply (sunk cost of mics, preamps, and so forth). But I am wondering if it makes sense to go on also.

 

[LBS-bass]

With no gigs in sight and feeling kinda burned out on one of my bandmates, my fire was dying pre-COVID and I've let it fade over the last year. But I'm on a mission to find my old Simandl etudes book and digging into that, just to feel like I'm putting in some work. I shouldn't ever fully quit music because it's one of my few pleasures in this life.

Much the same for me. There were issues that kept getting in the way of what I wanted from band life before, and now that we've had a year to decompress from that I keep thinking about putting that back together and thinking maybe it's best that we don't. That doesn't mean I won't do something, but the main thing I was in will probably die a dignified death, and the things I'll do instead will be more about socializing and I'll be a bit less uptight about the musicianship, because it's a lot of trouble to get and keep really good musicians together.

What I realized over the past year is that, at my age, the thing driving me was a desire to reach a level of accomplishment before I am too old to do it, and I was never going to be happy because I could never surround myself with the people I needed to make that happen and not also have friction. I got close, but when it's "other people" always making you miserable, it's really your own insistence that "other people" aren't making the grade. So it's me, really.

I'm planning to make some different choices and I'm moving away from the idea that I need to curate something more polished than my likely bandmates will want to do. Then I guess we'll see to what extent I can stand it.

Otherwise, I'm just dinking around still with books and practice and writing and recording. I don't really feel compelled to squeeze in all I can while I can. I'm old, maybe I'm done. Doesn't matter.

 

[dalkowski]

Much the same for me. There were issues that kept getting in the way of what I wanted from band life before, and now that we've had a year to decompress from that I keep thinking about putting that back together and thinking maybe it's best that we don't. That doesn't mean I won't do something, but the main thing I was in will probably die a dignified death, and the things I'll do instead will be more about socializing and I'll be a bit less uptight about the musicianship, because it's a lot of trouble to get and keep really good musicians together.

What I realized over the past year is that, at my age, the thing driving me was a desire to reach a level of accomplishment and I was never going to be happy because I could never surround myself with the people I needed to make that happen and not also have friction. I got close, but when it's "other people" always making you miserable, it's really your own insistence that "other people" aren't making the grade. So it's me, really.

I'm planning to make some different choices and I'm moving away from the idea that I need to curate something more polished than my likely bandmates will want to do. Then I guess we'll see to what extent I can stand it.

Otherwise, I'm just dinking around still with books and practice and writing and recording. I don't really feel compelled to squeeze in all I can while I can. I'm old, maybe I'm done. Doesn't matter.

And there's also the "it's supposed to be fun" part...

 

[buldog5151bass]

You play as long as it's fun:

1. I have a friend who is 71. He plays guitar and sitar regularly because he still enjoys it.

2. I'm 55. I play in two bands. One modern country band that enjoys gigging. One jazz band. Hard to find jazz gigs, and we want to play what WE want to play. Some once a week we get together and play. A few times a year we do shows.

Only you know when it's time.

 

[LBS-bass]

And there's also the "it's supposed to be fun" part...

Exactly. And it could never really be fun as long as I was coordinating a bunch of talented but unruly children masquerading as older adults. All I wanted was for people to learn their parts and show up and play what we learned every week. What it turned out they wanted was a party at my house every Thursday where we might play one or two songs we already knew after we'd play a whole lot of stuff we didn't know. We used to joke about how someone would play a riff and we were off to the races, like dogs that see a squirrel.

The fact that they were good enough to pull off a lot of music we'd never played before made it hard to get them to settle in and do any actual work to make stuff as good as it could've been.

I enjoyed doing that impromptu stuff, too, but never felt like we'd ever get past being a pretty sophisticated jam band. And then there were the arguments. Like, what is there to argue about? We're all good at this, just relax.

 

[3Liter]

I enjoyed doing that impromptu stuff, too, but never felt like we'd ever get past being a pretty sophisticated jam band. And then there were the arguments. Like, what is there to argue about? We're all good at this, just relax.

What did you argue about? Really? We've been going around for weeks....does it go into the riff 3 or 4 times before the chorus. Nobody every comes up with the right answer.

 

[jamro217]

Never. I consider music to be as integral a part of me as a liver, spleen or leg. Can't imagine giving it up. Like other body parts it requires rest occasionally, and once refreshed it wakes up ready to face a new day.

 

[LBS-bass]

What did you argue about? Really? We've been going around for weeks....does it go into the riff 3 or 4 times before the chorus. Nobody every comes up with the right answer.

It's a long story. One of the members was a bit of a perfectionist but also had other issues - that were really no fault of his own - that meant he didn't always remember things clearly or correctly. But he didn't realize this, so he'd get into arguments with two of the other members about things he thought we'd done one way but really had done the other way. For some reason he never wanted to fight with me, though.

Then that same member would mess up the same stuff on stage, time after time, but balk at taking the difficult stuff out of the set list, because he thought he could play it, and sometimes he could, but he didn't practice it. And that would frustrate everyone else. Stuff like that.

You'd say just ditch that guy but the problem with this is that he was the only original founding member and also the most accomplished player of the bunch. In some ways, it was his band. But he would also veto really good ideas and since he was prickly, no one wanted to downvote him.

I got to the point of taking notes whenever we'd have a discussion about repertoire or arrangements so that I could go back to them the following week and correct the record. But keeping that guy and the other two guys from getting into it was an increasing frustration.