We have comparable mileage. I haven't totaled up the gigs, but I started gigging around 1974, and have been going steadily since 1977. I respect your approach... I've just had a different experience. I did have years on the road with the same guy running the sound, and had a chance then to have a dialog (obviously). I've also been in lots of nice concert situations where the sound guys will ask you about your preferences. But I also put in years of big city (New York City and Boston) shows where whatever act I was with was one of four or five on the bill, you were tripping over the previous band as they were tearing down and you were trying to set up, and the house sound guy was on the phone or having a sandwich somewhere else during that time. Most of the festivals and TV and radio that I've done have been the same way. So... on further thought, I guess it does vary...
Peace
OK, no offense. Just lets keep peace in the old year and transport it into the new year.
When we do a complete evening the FOH-guy does not leave before anything is fixed and the sound is OK, no matter what venue. We pay the guy for this, and he gets anything to make him feel comfy. No need to leave for a sandwitch.
Anyway, a tech is not payed for answering his phone. If there's no tech, there is no soundcheck. I play in three bands, and only in one band we have our own FOH and tech. The other two bands do bigger venues with local or rented FOH +tech.
When we support bigger acts on tours, we either bring our own tech or "make friends" with the tech of the headliner. This helps a lot.
When we go to an unknown venue, we send our tech rider that says, that we have to talk to the local FOH-guy because we want to make sure about the bands needs. Do this in a relaxed way (the beer...), and you and the tech will part as friends.
The problem I see is, that techs in our age do no longer work for live music. So you have to "make friends" with a new local FOH-guy every some years. And this guy is young and has "a new" opinion of a "good sound".
I noticed the last years that FOH - guys tend to give more low end to the sound. Maybe 10 years ago I had to do a lots of talking to get a decent "BASS"-sound from FOH.
Not so much experienced tech-guys in the venues we use to play, especially this year. It was a drag.
Many techs say: "Awww, musicians.... No idea what to do when it comes to FOH." The same words I heared from musicians vice versa. But we have to work together to make the audience enjoy the concert. They payed for that.
I am a strong believer in friendly talking, making sure the FOH-guy is your friend. And I had very good experiences with that.