Why Text every freakin' time to ask "Is practice still on for tonight?"

[LBS-bass]

When I was doing petsitting gigs, I'd set up a meet and greet with prospective clients and I would ALWAYS text them just before leaving to remind them that I was on my way.

The reason for doing this - people forget. There's nothing worse than showing up somewhere and finding out that nobody's home, or that you're catching them at an awkward time because they forgot that you were planning to be there. So a little text goes a long way toward keeping things professional.

My experience there is also that the vast majority of my clients wanted to communicate via text. The only people I encounter who prefer email are older folks, usually in bands, who don't have decent phones. Hardly anyone wants a phone call, except perhaps as the initial encounter.

 

[badinage]

When I was doing petsitting gigs, I'd set up a meet and greet with prospective clients and I would ALWAYS text them just before leaving to remind them that I was on my way.

The reason for doing this - people forget. There's nothing worse than showing up somewhere and finding out that nobody's home, or that you're catching them at an awkward time because they forgot that you were planning to be there. So a little text goes a long way toward keeping things professional.

My experience there is also that the vast majority of my clients wanted to communicate via text. The only people I encounter who prefer email are older folks, usually in bands, who don't have decent phones. Hardly anyone wants a phone call, except perhaps as the initial encounter.

Obviously text is appropriate for what you've described above.

All parties confirming attendance for a regularly-scheduled, recurring meeting is different IMO.

Think of it more as a monthly Board of Directors meeting or weekly Department Managers' meeting where a number of people are key participants and expected to be there. Likely they're not texting each other.

I'm not old.

 

[LBS-bass]

Obviously text is appropriate for what you've described above.

All parties confirming attendance for a regularly-scheduled, recurring meeting is different IMO.

Think of it more as a monthly Board of Directors meeting or weekly Department Managers' meeting where a number of people are key participants and expected to be there. Likely they're not texting each other.

I'm not old.

I don't have that experience with my band. One person usually just texts "6:30 tonight?" and someone else gives a thumbs up. It's more of a prompt to make sure no one has a reason to bail, which sometimes happens when someone hasn't planned correctly, that that's rare.

Gives everyone reassurance that things will happen at our usual time, and since one of us drives an hour, that's helpful. One time that text went out late and the LG had made a calendar mistake and told us at the last minute he couldn't make it. That saved the other guitarist a two hour round trip, as she was just about to leave.

Anyway, in my world nobody is complaining about the band being well organized and considerate about everyone's time. Other people's worlds are probably different. I think if someone found that a reason to complain, I'd probably request they find another band to complain about.

 

[Hummergeist]

I had a rehearsal last night, and there were various 'checking in' messages during the day, including some from me. Nobody took offence!

 

[Pocket Dave]

Friday I have an audition with a band that is looking for a new drummer. Since I'll bring just two pair of sticks and a cowbell I will not ask that question, but I expect them at least to send me a message or give me a call as a confirmation. If they don't, I'll ask that question without any remorse of course.

Just like with sales calls or job interviews, confirmation calls/texts/emails are customary.

OTOH, showing up for work, or practice, shouldn't have to require one. If it does, I start questioning other ways that situation might be impacting my return on time investment.

 

[gln1955]

Think of it more as a monthly Board of Directors meeting or weekly Department Managers' meeting where a number of people are key participants and expected to be there. Likely they're not texting each other.

In my world they are. I can't recall any meeting, no matter how regular, where there wasn't a reminder text and/or email sent. No one is offended.

 

[LBS-bass]

In my world they are. I can't recall any meeting, no matter how regular, where there wasn't a reminder text and/or email sent. No one is offended.

Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. When I was in the academic world, herding cats was an important part of staying organized, and everyone got reminder emails and/or texts, along with their own calendar reminders about pretty much every meeting on their schedule.

Standard operating procedure in that world and, once again, anyone who's getting bent out of shape because their work groups are well-organized isn't going to survive in that environment for long. There are many actual important things to spend energy on - this is not really up there.

 

[badinage]

In my world they are. I can't recall any meeting, no matter how regular, where there wasn't a reminder text and/or email sent. No one is offended.

I'm not offended. I just stated upthread that my band does a rehearsal-morning email that everyone is in the habit of checking (because it's rehearsal day).

I also indicated my personal preference for that regularly-scheduled "are we on?" email because everyone can check it at their convenience, thereby avoiding the real-time interruptions that texts and phone-calls are ...(which would of course be warranted for last-minute changes).

I'm not suggesting it for anyone else, but there seems to be no shortage of folks here to tell me that email is no good/inefficient /old fashioned, and I guess for their situation and MO it is. I have no problem with that.

 

[Pocket Dave]

For those who say priorities in life may be greater than rehearsal, and that somehow validates playing it loose and easy with said practices, I look at it this way:

My own priorities in life are varied, with family being at the top.

Therefore, if someone schedules a rehearsal, I block out that valuable time, time that my son or wife may now be making other plans with. Any band or gig situation I work with needs to have the same commitment to respecting each other's time.

In groups where this commitment to respecting others' time exists, confirmation calls/texts for scheduled events are not necessary. If that commitment's not there, making confirmations necessary, I'm out.

 

[51PRI]

Obviously text is appropriate for what you've described above.

All parties confirming attendance for a regularly-scheduled, recurring meeting is different IMO.....

I agree, and that was my initial point...practice is at the same time, the same day, and the same place every week unless someone needs to cancel. NO confirmation needed. IF someone has to cancel then THEY should be the ones to send out a text, email, or smoke signal announcing so.

That said, I'm letting it go and no longer worrying about it. I'm fully expecting a text saying "are we still on tonight?" to which I will response in a positively appropriate way.

I feel like Kramer..."serenity now."

 

[fishdude101101]

For those who say priorities in life may be greater than rehearsal, and that somehow validates playing it loose and easy with said practices, I look at it this way:

My own priorities in life are varied, with family being at the top.

Therefore, if someone schedules a rehearsal, I block out that valuable time, time that my son or wife may now be making other plans with. Any band or gig situation I work with needs to have the same commitment to respecting each other's time.

In groups where this commitment to respecting others' time exists, confirmation calls/texts for scheduled events are not necessary. If that commitment's not there, making confirmations necessary, I'm out.

This is me times 1000000000. I've driven to rehearsal more than once one to have it cancelled and not seeing text message while in transit. My band doesn't do regularly scheduled rehearsal so every rehearsal involves me pushing other things out of the way.

 

[51PRI]

...In groups where this commitment to respecting others' time exists, confirmation calls/texts for scheduled events are not necessary. If that commitment's not there, making confirmations necessary, I'm out.

I agree.

 

[fishdude101101]

Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. When I was in the academic world, herding cats was an important part of staying organized, and everyone got reminder emails and/or texts, along with their own calendar reminders about pretty much every meeting on their schedule.

Standard operating procedure in that world and, once again, anyone who's getting bent out of shape because their work groups are well-organized isn't going to survive in that environment for long. There are many actual important things to spend energy on - this is not really up there.

At my day job there is no way I'm going to remember to go to a meeting unless I have constant reminders. I'm not meeting-centric in my job, so it is a big disruption and outside of my normal routing. My coworkers know to only drag me in as needed and for the minimum amount of time.

 

[fishdude101101]

I agree.

This is the only reason that I want reassurance. Yes I'll be mad if I load up all my stuff, take it work with me, and then someone cancels within a couple hours of practice. In the current band, most of them work from home so not such a big deal for them, but for my wife and it means now driving separate vehicles to work when we usually commute together and a big change of plans. I realize I'm probably a bit rigid on this, but its happened enough to where I will no longer practice through though the week at all with this current band, and if they don't like it, I've told them I'm cool with them replacing me.

 

[LBS-bass]

At my day job there is no way I'm going to remember to go to a meeting unless I have constant reminders. I'm not meeting-centric in my job, so it is a big disruption and outside of my normal routing. My coworkers know to only drag me in as needed and for the minimum amount of time.

In academic circles it's usually the case that everyone's very much overscheduled. So they're all flitting from one meeting to the next, or from meetings to seminars to other events and back to meetings again, all day long, in between teaching classes, which surprisingly takes up the least amount of their time. Most of the meetings have to do with research projects, at least the ones I was involved in, and they might have a handful of various projects they're involved in - their own and projects they've been asked to participate in by other researchers, so the meetings might be in person or they might be conference calls, etc. It's an impossible world to navigate if you don't have good administrative support around you.

 

[LBS-bass]

In groups where this commitment to respecting others' time exists, confirmation calls/texts for scheduled events are not necessary. If that commitment's not there, making confirmations necessary, I'm out.

That sounds like a perfect world to me, but also a bit rigid. I'd much rather live in an imperfect world with people who occasionally make mistakes or forget things, if that also means that I get to make music with some of the best players in town. I have my own set of priorities, though.

Now, having said that, I have major problems with people who cannot, for whatever reason, manage to keep commitments. One band I'm in has a terrible time getting together because nine people are in it and they're all busy. Sometimes I schedule something with them and put other things off only to have someone blow it off at the last minute. It annoys me greatly when that happens.

But guess what? That's also the best band I'm in. Those guys do their homework and they suit up and show up when it counts. I'll reluctantly put up with a little inconvenience in order to be involved in a project like that. What I won't put up with are people who whine disproportionately about things that don't matter all that much and bring the vibe down, especially if they aren't pulling their weight, musically. Negativity is a huge joy killer.

As someone around here once said, ain't nobody got time for that!

 

[5StringBlues]

When I was doing petsitting gigs, I'd set up a meet and greet with prospective clients and I would ALWAYS text them just before leaving to remind them that I was on my way.

The reason for doing this - people forget.

The sun shines
people forget

The spray flies as the speedboat glides
people forget


The girls smile
people forget

The snow packs as the skier tracks
People forget



Drinks flow
People forget

That big wheel spins, the hair thins
People forget

The news slows
People forget

Their shares crash, hopes are dashed
People forget

 

[fishdude101101]

In academic circles it's usually the case that everyone's very much overscheduled. So they're all flitting from one meeting to the next, or from meetings to seminars to other events and back to meetings again, all day long, in between teaching classes, which surprisingly takes up the least amount of their time. Most of the meetings have to do with research projects, at least the ones I was involved in, and they might have a handful of various projects they're involved in - their own and projects they've been asked to participate in by other researchers, so the meetings might be in person or they might be conference calls, etc. It's an impossible world to navigate if you don't have good administrative support around you.

I work in an academic environment but I'm not an academic. I can agree with what you've posted. The one thing I'll add is that the amount and duration of meeting could be reduced if a more direct and efficient communication style where permitted. Instead we are forced into a what amounts to therapy session where every idea is heard and honored and then several session later a decision is made, and its the one we knew we would do anyway...people just talk in circles. Now this really has nothing to do with academic research....I'm in IT but the communication style is at best passive and at worst extremely passive-aggressive.

 

[fishdude101101]

Very few people check their email more often than a few times a day. If you need a quick response, texting is the way to go.

Yeah personal email I don't check often. Work you'll get an almost instant response every time during business hours

 

[Pocket Dave]

That sounds like a perfect world to me, but also a bit rigid. I'd much rather live in an imperfect world with people who occasionally make mistakes or forget things, if that also means that I get to make music with some of the best players in town. I have my own set of priorities, though.

Now, having said that, I have major problems with people who cannot, for whatever reason, manage to keep commitments. One band I'm in has a terrible time getting together because nine people are in it and they're all busy. Sometimes I schedule something with them and put other things off only to have someone blow it off at the last minute. It annoys me greatly when that happens.

But guess what? That's also the best band I'm in. Those guys do their homework and they suit up and show up when it counts. I'll reluctantly put up with a little inconvenience in order to be involved in a project like that. What I won't put up with are people who whine disproportionately about things that don't matter all that much and bring the vibe down, especially if they aren't pulling their weight, musically. Negativity is a huge joy killer.

As someone around here once said, ain't nobody got time for that!

Rigid? Maybe. And in fairness, I don't do a lot of rehearsals, and neither do most of the guys I play with, all solid, reliable, top-tier guys who stay pretty busy because they do their homework at home. When we do have a rehearsal, there's flexibility if someone has to bail in favor of a paying gig, but that almost always happens with advanced notice.

As far as making mistakes or forgetting things goes, it happens, sure, but it's rare. I look at it like accepting a gig (or sales meeting, job interview, etc...). It gets entered on my Google calendar right away.

A while back, a band leader called me on my way to a gig and asked, "you ARE going to be here, right?" Turns out the very young, very talented drummer he'd hired "double booked" an indoor, air-conditioned job over our hot-semi-outdoor one, and the keyboardist came down with Covid. Mistake on the drummer's part? Maybe. But the band leader hasn't hired the drummer again, and probably won't, while the keyboard player's still in rotation.

Recently, a guy wasn't on set a half hour before downbeat. BL called him and was told he was on his way. Then he turned to me and said, "I think he forgot". Guy showed up 5 minutes before downbeat and made it just in time. Not sure what happens with him going forward, but if it were me, I'd definitely give him another shot - he did make it on time. But not my circus, not my monkeys - I love doing sideman work because things can happen and all I have to do is sit on the sidelines and await further instructions. So rigid? Maybe not so much.

No judgement of those who don't share my same view of the value of my time on either rehearsal or gig side of the equation, it's just that, like a lot of the good folks I work with, I know where my boundaries are and I'm not going to sweat it or participate with those whose views are in collision with them.