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Why Text every freakin' time to ask "Is practice still on for tonight?"

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#221
Pocket Dave said:
Rigid? Maybe. And in fairness, I don't do a lot of rehearsals, and neither do most of the guys I play with, all solid, reliable, top-tier guys who stay pretty busy because they do their homework at home. When we do have a rehearsal, there's flexibility if someone has to bail in favor of a paying gig, but that almost always happens with advanced notice.

As far as making mistakes or forgetting things goes, it happens, sure, but it's rare. I look at it like accepting a gig (or sales meeting, job interview, etc...). It gets entered on my Google calendar right away.

A while back, a band leader called me on my way to a gig and asked, "you ARE going to be here, right?" Turns out the very young, very talented drummer he he'd hired "double booked" an indoor, air-conditioned job over our hot-semi-outdoor one. Mistake? Maybe. But that band leader hasn't hired that drummer again.

Recently, a guy wasn't on set a half hour before downbeat. BL called him and was told he was on his way. Then he turned to me and said, "I think he forgot". Guy showed up 5 minutes before downbeat and made it just in time. Not sure what happens with him going forward, but if it were me, I'd definitely give him another shot - he did make it on time. But not my circus, not my monkeys - I love doing sideman work because things can happen and all I have to do is sit on the sidelines and await further instructions. So rigid? Maybe not so much.

No judgement of those who don't share my same view of the value of my time, it's just I know where my boundaries are and I'm not going to sweat or participate with those whose views are in collision with mine.
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Well you won't really get any argument from me about any of that, but this conversation is about the benefits of reminder texts (or perhaps more accurately, the potential annoyance of these) and I find it very odd that an organizational tool meant to prevent some of these situations draws so much negativity. Fishdude up there is talking about the highly dysfunctional world of academia and I have to say I agree with everything he has to say about how dysfunctional that world is, but in all my years in that environment, not once have I ever seen anyone get bent out of shape over a meeting reminder!
 
#222
LBS-bass said:
Well you won't really get any argument from me about any of that, but this conversation is about the benefits of reminder texts (or perhaps more accurately, the potential annoyance of these) and I find it very odd that an organizational tool meant to prevent some of these situations draws so much negativity. Fishdude up there is talking about the highly dysfunctional world of academia and I have to say I agree with everything he has to say about how dysfunctional that world is, but in all my years in that environment, not once have I ever seen anyone get bent out of shape over a meeting reminder!
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Understood.

I guess my point is that, IME, working with musicians with whom those reminders were a necessity has always been a symptom of more systemic collisions of character/viewpoint & operational processes that ultimately impacted my own time and resource investment past the point of positive return.
 
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#223
LBS-bass said:
Well you won't really get any argument from me about any of that, but this conversation is about the benefits of reminder texts (or perhaps more accurately, the potential annoyance of these) and I find it very odd that an organizational tool meant to prevent some of these situations draws so much negativity. Fishdude up there is talking about the highly dysfunctional world of academia and I have to say I agree with everything he has to say about how dysfunctional that world is, but in all my years in that environment, not once have I ever seen anyone get bent out of shape over a meeting reminder!
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Thank haha. I mean, I gets lots of reminders, I can ignore them if I want, reply, all kinds of things
 
#224
Pocket Dave said:
Understood.

I guess my point is that, IME, working with musicians with whom those reminders were a necessity has always been a symptom of more systemic collisions of character & viewpoint that impacted my own time and resource investment past the point of positive return.
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I agree, and if they are people who are consistently flaky, then I won't work with them. But I don't have a problem with reminders going out to any of the bands I'm in. I have a problem with people who can't seem to keep their act together whether they get reminded or not. The reminder's just a nice bit of reassurance to everyone but hopefully it's not really needed.
 
#225
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#226
LBS-bass said:
I agree, and if they are people who are consistently flaky, then I won't work with them. But I don't have a problem with reminders going out to any of the bands I'm in. I have a problem with people who can't seem to keep their act together whether they get reminded or not. The reminder's just a nice bit of reassurance to everyone but hopefully it's not really needed.
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I should probably be more clear. If it's my deal, I'm the band leader, and I keep getting these texts, group or otherwise, my response will be that it's on unless you hear otherwise. If it keeps happening, I'll ask if someone's heard otherwise.
 
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#228
Pocket Dave said:
Understood.

I guess my point is that, IME, working with musicians with whom those reminders were a necessity has always been a symptom of more systemic collisions of character/viewpoint & operational processes that ultimately impacted my own time and resource investment past the point of positive return.
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But what you're talking about is a case of the individual musician being less reliable than the band. What the OP was all torqued up over was the individual musician being MORE reliable than the band - or, at least,, the individual musician having had past experience of being more reliable than past bands, thus feeling the necessity of texting just to make sure he didn't pack up, drive, wait, and waste at least a couple hours only to find that the band had cancelled out on him.

I suspect that as the OP matures and starts to experience some CRS, either personally or in others, he'll mellow out a bit. Frankly it struck me at the beginning as a weird thing to be annoyed by.
 
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#230
turf3 said:
...What the OP was all torqued up over was the individual musician being MORE reliable than the band....
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"Torked up?" No, just venting.
turf3 said:
But what you're talking about is a case of the individual musician being less reliable than the band. What the OP was all torqued up over was the individual musician being MORE reliable than the band - or, at least,, the individual musician having had past experience of being more reliable than past bands, thus feeling the necessity of texting just to make sure he didn't pack up, drive, wait, and waste at least a couple hours only to find that the band had cancelled out on him.

I suspect that as the OP matures and starts to experience some CRS, either personally or in others, he'll mellow out a bit. Frankly it struck me at the beginning as a weird thing to be annoyed by.
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First off, you obviously haven't read the entire thread, so...to reiterate. If we're all adults and responsible then we know that, for example, every Tuesday at 6:00 is band rehearsal. Nothing else needs to be said or confirmed UNLESS a band member can't make it. IF that happens it is their responsibility to let the other band members knows as soon as possible.
turf3 said:
...I suspect that as the OP matures and starts to experience some CRS, either personally or in others, he'll mellow out a bit. Frankly it struck me at the beginning as a weird thing to be annoyed by.
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Again, if you had read the entire thread then you would know that a while back in the thread I acknowledged that I'm letting it go and intend to see it for what it is...a band member who AT LEAST cares enough to initiate communication.
 
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#239
two fingers said:
OK, at first I just thought you were unreasonably grumpy. Maybe taking a walk would help. I don't know. Getting one text a week is not rant worthy. Period. So you were already being .... unreasonable.

But with this last statement you're makes you come across as a jerk.

I love my band mates. We are like family. If they personally needed something I would be there for them.

That said, my band is on like page three of my list of priorities. I have a a wife, two kids, their activities, church, and lots of other things that come before band rehearsal. So do my band mates. We created this band with that in mind. Family/business first.

So, no, I am not as committed to my band as I am a long list of other things. But, guess what, you presumptuous (enter expletive here), I show up dead ready for anything we're doing. I learn my bass and vocal parts cold. I provide the place for us to rehearse (a bonus room I could use for a dozen other things). My wife usually whips up some food for the band. I keep my jam room fridge stocked. I'm the first one to the show (after usually loading the PA into MY truck by myself). I usually have it unloaded and am halfway through setting up the lights when the rest of them start to arrive.

My point? Just because the band isn't even NEAR the top of my priority list, I'm committed ENOUGH. That's all that matters.

I hope you can play your instrument ridiculously well. It seems you're after a career in music. Many if the rest of us have other lives. And that's OK.
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Dude's like 70+.

Does provide a certain amount of irritainment.
 
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