Called being a responsible band member. I always check. Gigs, practice, whatever. Saved myself and band mates some serious heartburn over the years.
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Why Text every freakin' time to ask "Is practice still on for tonight?"
- Thread starter 51PRI
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Called being a responsible band member. I always check. Gigs, practice, whatever. Saved myself and band mates some serious heartburn over the years.
Not sure if anybody has asked this but is there at least a 70% chance of probability that you guys on a regular basis cancel practice?
Maybe that person feels compelled to text you as much as I presently feel compelled to reply to this thread.
I'm usually that guy. Sucks to show up to an empty rehearsal because no one let you know that couldn't make it after all.
Now I check.
Now I check.
How funny that happened to me TODAY... we had a rehearsal day set up since last week. I texted redundantly "are we on for tonight" and the answer was NO. Someone had cancelled and I never saw it because the collective band text thread gets so polluted with chatter it's easy to miss important stuff. I would have been getting back from work, grabbing my gear and running to the studio if I hadn't asked.
Because he probably already had it happen that one day he drove to practice and nobody was there, because somebody forgot to tell him that practice was canceled for that day.
Either that, or he's just a paranoid person to begin with. But you know what... Doesn't make you particularly likeable if such little things get you angry like this. All humans have faults, and if someone just doesn't want to make a mistake like that, I wouldn't get mad at him for that. Sounds to me like you would rather not play with that guy to begin with...
Many good reasons... because people are flakes, they forget, other things come up, etc... I've gone to many rehearsals over the years where one band member doesn't show up because he overslept, thought rehearsal was Tuesday, had a business meeting, blah, blah, blah. Totally justified IMHO.
OK, at first I just thought you were unreasonably grumpy. Maybe taking a walk would help. I don't know. Getting one text a week is not rant worthy. Period. So you were already being .... unreasonable.
But with this last statement you're makes you come across as a jerk.
I love my band mates. We are like family. If they personally needed something I would be there for them.
That said, my band is on like page three of my list of priorities. I have a a wife, two kids, their activities, church, and lots of other things that come before band rehearsal. So do my band mates. We created this band with that in mind. Family/business first.
So, no, I am not as committed to my band as I am a long list of other things. But, guess what, you presumptuous (enter expletive here), I show up dead ready for anything we're doing. I learn my bass and vocal parts cold. I provide the place for us to rehearse (a bonus room I could use for a dozen other things). My wife usually whips up some food for the band. I keep my jam room fridge stocked. I'm the first one to the show (after usually loading the PA into MY truck by myself). I usually have it unloaded and am halfway through setting up the lights when the rest of them start to arrive.
My point? Just because the band isn't even NEAR the top of my priority list, I'm committed ENOUGH. That's all that matters.
I hope you can play your instrument ridiculously well. It seems you're after a career in music. Many if the rest of us have other lives. And that's OK.
It's not a bad thing to have a routine habit. My preference is an email morning of, or before noon so everyone can respond at their convenience with "I'm in". If someone is not responding and we're a couple hours from time, THEN texts or phone calls start happening.
I'm annoyed by unnecessary calls and texts in general though because they DEMAND attention RIGHT NOW. That seems rudely intrusive when the morning email would accomplish the same without me in real time dropping everything to check/respond/be lorded over by the infernal device jammed in my pocket.
I'm annoyed by unnecessary calls and texts in general though because they DEMAND attention RIGHT NOW. That seems rudely intrusive when the morning email would accomplish the same without me in real time dropping everything to check/respond/be lorded over by the infernal device jammed in my pocket.
Just tell them:"S.O.P.Unless otherwise noted practice is as scheduled"
For a while I had to travel 3 hours each way for a band. Happened a few times that 1 of the other members didnt show up. And I would have dragged myself, a bass and a small/medium amp around the whole day for basically nothing.. So I always double check, unless we have some really good system in place, like the online calendar thing.
Tbh I dont understand why you get worked up about this. Is it really SUCH A DAMN NUISANCE that 1 person in your band is a little insecure, and looks to you for confirmation?
He asks you because he respects you, and expects you to know the latests news.
TBH, I don't see why, as it seems like you'd rather just show up, play and leave, than actually have any kind of connection with your band mates..
Perhaps look at yourself, and ask, "What have I done to make this person doubt every rehearsal?".
My bet is that either you or someone else in the band has cancelled w/ short notice several times.
Anyway, I hope you figure out how to communicate better with your band members instead of "venting" online about some non-issue.
Imagine being annoyed that your co-workers go out of their way to confirm appointments and make sure they have all the updated info... I'd take that over a non-replying flaker 100000000000000 times over...
Tbh I dont understand why you get worked up about this. Is it really SUCH A DAMN NUISANCE that 1 person in your band is a little insecure, and looks to you for confirmation?
He asks you because he respects you, and expects you to know the latests news.
TBH, I don't see why, as it seems like you'd rather just show up, play and leave, than actually have any kind of connection with your band mates..
Perhaps look at yourself, and ask, "What have I done to make this person doubt every rehearsal?".
My bet is that either you or someone else in the band has cancelled w/ short notice several times.
Anyway, I hope you figure out how to communicate better with your band members instead of "venting" online about some non-issue.
Imagine being annoyed that your co-workers go out of their way to confirm appointments and make sure they have all the updated info... I'd take that over a non-replying flaker 100000000000000 times over...
On the flip side, maybe they're asking because they were in another band that habitually cancelled practice the day of...and your band member is still traumatized
One of my old bands did this all the time. I worked in multiple offices, so on practice day I would drive to the office closest to the practice space (an hour away) and 60% of the time they would cancel on me only a few hours before we were supposed to start. It was s huge waste of time and money...I quit over it and I'm not sure they understand why to this day.
In my previous band, the same people that used "not having seen it in the chat" as a pretext, were the same that usually didn't do their homework.
I created a secondary group chat for tunes proposals, to try to have more threaded discussions.
You can then see if the band has any sort of discipline or if it's hopeless.
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would you rather get to rehearsal and one person not be there? or at the last minute text that they can't make it, after you're had it on your schedule for a while? texts are so easy and fast and as a "courtesy" I always group-text a reminder to the band before a rehearsal or a gig, usually the same day. it's not like BITD when I had to call everybody on the land line.
On the flip side, maybe they're asking because they were in another band that habitually cancelled practice the day of...and your band member is still traumatized
One of my old bands did this all the time. I worked in multiple offices, so on practice day I would drive to the office closest to the practice space (an hour away) and 60% of the time they would cancel on me only a few hours before we were supposed to start. It was s huge waste of time and money...I quit over it and I'm not sure they understand why to this day.
It happened to me recently 2 times, to come back to town, even if I didn't really had to beside practice, I made sure to have some little thing to do beside that.
But each time it was cancelled on the same day or the day prior, it was another nail in the coffin of the motivation to be in that band.
Especially when the band leader said that we would rehearse every week in the summer no matter if anyone was missing.
He was the first to fail on that promise.
You cancel if only one person is missing ?
I know it depends of the band and the instrument, but to me even playing without drums can be a good practice exercise, like making everyone responsible for the rythm or make them more listen to the bass or other instrument.
If singer is missing, some lead instrument can play the voice melody, this is what many instrumental albums are doing when they do covers.
Keyboard can play bass, or guitar can use an octaver, I mean it always sound as an excuse.
I can admit people are pissed if they feel someone gets a pass for not being there, but I think it's more profitable to just play and make it work.
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