Worst gig I've played in a while

[droo46]

Last week, I picked up a sub gig from another bass player because he got double booked. I've played with the band before and it was a good time so I was looking forward to some easy money. The whole schtick of the band is they only play really dirty songs. Think songs like Big Bottom, I Kissed a Girl, Dirty Diana, Big Balls etc. I spent the days leading up to the gig refreshing the songs, dialing in some synth tones for a few of the songs, and was feeling really good going into the gig. I'm doubly excited because I just got a new bass and I'm stoked to get it out on it's virgin gig. Sound check happens, and one of the singers is running late. She's got a reputation around the music scene for being kind of a mess, so while it's annoying, it's not altogether unexpected.

Show time comes, and we start playing without her. The second song in the set requires our delinquent singer, so we start hopping around the setlist seemingly at random and it takes several minutes for the group to decide what song they want to do. It seemed like an eternity on stage, but looking at my video footage, it sometimes took as long as 3 long minutes to get going on the next song. We can't keep a crowd on the dance floor to save our lives despite playing top 40 songs with great singers because we're so disorganized and everything is just a complete mess. I get the sense that everyone else in the band is here for free pizza and beer and they seem completely unbothered by how poorly the show is going. It's even more odd because I've played with the bandleader and most of the other musicians in other projects that were very put together by comparison, and I'm very confused that no one seems to have their act together here.

45 minutes into the first set, the singer finally shows up, but the rest of the gig is no better than before. The bars patrons seem to be tolerating us more than anything, and I can't help but feel absolutely embarrassed to be on a stage with such a dysfunctional band. It seems like no one is taking this very seriously except for me. Forgotten lyrics, meandering guitar solos, and messy transitions all around. Thankfully, this gig is taking place in a town an hour away from where I live, so at least no one I know is here to see this titanic failure, right? Right?

Or so I thought.

During our break, I get a tap on my shoulder, and who should I see but my least favorite co-worker. She's a bit of brown nosing busy-body at work, the kind of person who would remind the teacher about a pop quiz they would have forgotten about otherwise. Apparently, this dumpy dive is her favorite bar, and she's thrilled to see me, even though she's the last person on earth I'd want to run into outside of work. I'm mortified because most people at my job know I'm a musician, but this is absolutely not the gig to get recognized at.

As soon as we hit midnight, I'm quick to pack up and get my ass outta there, but not before my co-worker has tried to buy my girlfriend (who does not drink) and I a shot. Fireball. Of course. When in Rome, I suppose. Here's hoping she was too drunk to remember much, because I certainly would like to forget this gig forever. It really stinks to show up prepared and professional when it's clear that no one else is.

Anyway, thanks for reading my sad story. Really sad for this to have been my new Serek's maiden voyage into gigging, but at least it's only uphill from here.

 

[SAlcott]

Fireball. No more need be said.

 

[J Wilson]

See, this is where an SVT comes in handy: You can hide behind it.

 

[Winslow]

Obligatory:

 

[JC BASS 91]

One of the things I have noted over the years is that the vast majority of the audience in a bar doesn't notice what we as musicians classify as a failure. Probably more than half of them wouldn't catch mistakes if there were dozens of them in a single song (either because they don't pay any attention to such things, or because they are too blitzed to notice).

While it was titanic failure in your mind...the audience probably didn't even notice...or even care.

Hope your next gig is better for you!

 

[leonard]

Everyone will feel better if you post photos of the new Serek on this thread.

 

[getrhythm]

Your co-worker probably thought you guys sounded "awesome".

 

[Killing Floor]

Your picture on the wall of the break room next to the wage documents.

 

[MynameisMe]

Sounds like you should have packed it up in the first hour of the set.
Who would have noticed you left? Probably not the band.

 

[Bunk McNulty]

1. What went down was not your fault.
2. Feces Occurs.
3. Nobody called the police and nobody had to clean blood off the floor.

Soldier on.

 

[RichardW]

You had me at "45 minutes into the first set, the singer finally shows up..."

unbelievable.

 

[Ostie]

I’m not much of a drinker, especially hard liquor. More than once I have accepted the shot graciously and then made an excuse like, “I have to use the rest room, but I’ll enjoy this when I get back!” Then I dump the shot into an empty glass, throw it out the back door, or pour it down the sink. I’ve found that offering it to a band member is counter-productive.

 

[No Malarky]

Other peoples' kids...

 

[Cave Puppy]

EVERY gig is like that with the cover band I just quit (four more gigs through June and I’m out). Revolving door of substandard guitarists and singers, joyless mediocre drummer, same old tired songs, crappy venues, bad gig times. I’ve felt embarrassed at every gig. Glad I’m quitting. I’m experiencing mild PTSD from this thread.

Edit: Unless it’s a concert or a showcase, most of the audience don’t give a crap how the band is.

 

[Gravedigger Dav]

More than once I've had gigs that felt this bad. What would always puzzle me most is when coming off the stage wishing I was invisible, somebody would come up to me and start raving about what a great band we were and how awesome we sounded. I would be gracious and thank them and invite them to come back to see us again, my thought would be, "Were in in this bar listening to use or were you next door listening to that other band?"

 

[FullumMusic]

If you're worried about your music reputation at work, definitely tell your co-worker something like, "Thanks for the shot. I needed it after that experience. I was the substitute bass player and didn't expect such a disorganized show. Not sure who it was worse for, the audience or me. lol"

I always wonder why such confusion ensues in situations like that. Like, if you have your set list and certain songs are unplayable until the singer shows up, just go down the set list in the same order, skipping those songs, and tack them onto the end of the show. Am i missing something? Is there anything that requires 3 minutes of deliberations. "Next song!" Can't play it? "Ok, song after that!"

I also wonder if all the other flubs are because they always practice their set in order, and changing it up just threw them off or gave them the yips, and that's why they started missing the changes and meandering solos and forgetting lyrics. Who knows. I mean, i guess they might know themselves how their sets usually go. But who knows???

Anyway, congrats on the new Serek. The bass got christened like stepping in dog poop wearing new shoes. It's all up from here.

 

[azureblue]

I’m not much of a drinker, especially hard liquor. More than once I have accepted the shot graciously and then made an excuse like, “I have to use the rest room, but I’ll enjoy this when I get back!” Then I dump the shot into an empty glass, throw it out the back door, or pour it down the sink. I’ve found that offering it to a band member is counter-productive.

I used to play the bar, where people with way more money than me, bought rounds for the house, and the band, like 6 rounds per night. Nuts. . Fortunately, the drink of choice was a slammer, which is clear, so the band worked out a deal with the bartender to make none alky slammers. Bartender also made a tea version of a whisky shot.

 

[higain617]

Remember, kids: don't drink whiskey, especially if it's cinnamon-infused.

 

[FullumMusic]

More than once I've had gigs that felt this bad. What would always puzzle me most is when coming off the stage wishing I was invisible, somebody would come up to me and start raving about what a great band we were and how awesome we sounded. I would be gracious and thank them and invite them to come back to see us again, my thought would be, "Were in in this bar listening to use or were you next door listening to that other band?"

Yeah, been there too. I assume it could be a number of things. Some people are genuinely impressed by any musical playing and in their mind it was a great show because anyone strumming basic chords on a guitar is a great show. Super low expectations?

Or, maybe they feel compelled to be positive and supportive because they heard how sloppy the set was, or they can read how embarrassed some of the band feels.

Or, some people just really want to talk to the band, and complimenting the show is just an icebreaker to talk to them, and they're not impolite enough to walk up and say, "Hi, my name is Joe and boy did you guys suck tonight! Can i buy you a drink?"

And sometimes the show actually wasn't terrible, the audience actually enjoyed it, and we're our own worst critics.

I did sub a show once many years ago where the only two audience members to show up were my girlfriend and her friend. Even the other band canceled (or didn't show). Luckily, being a sub i wasn't embarrassed. I felt bad for the band, and especially bad for the bartender. It was an 18+ entry, 21+ drink venue, so two under-21-y/o audience members sitting there drinking soda while he sat through a set of songs... Fortunately the bartender said "we're all here. You might as well play." while he did some cleaning and organizing. And the band did an incredibly abridged set to end the suffering and get everyone out of there asap. They were apologetic to the bartender and while he was clearly annoyed, he was incredibly nice about it. My gf & her friend were like, "It's a shame nobody came, you guys were really good!" The rest of the band didn't take the compliment well.

 

[Deleted member 394181]

I always hated what I called " Band Meetings" on stage between songs. I had nothing to do with set lists, but seems like better planning was needed. I hated standing on stage in a circle talking for what seemed like a long time to play a song we had already played 15 minutes ago. Usually because some drunk woman wanted us to. Or a song we didn't really rehearse for the gig, or haven't played in a long time. Train wrecks then occurred.