Worst gig you ever had.

[basskababble]

This made me remember another one!

I was the youngest in a punk band made up of 25-35 year olds. We're booked on halloween for one of the only all ages clubs down here on a Friday. We get an e-mail that says we need to show up for sound check at 5:30. Most of us work until 6:00. Our set in at 10:00. I say no way, we'll show up an hour early like we always do. We were also given pre-sale tickets to sell. Since we don't know anyone in highschool and our girlfriends (two for four guys, no we didn't share them) get in free or stay with the car we don't sell any. Still, we split them evenly to see if any opportunities came up.

at 9:30 the band before us is finished, right on time, but our guitar player isn't there and isn't answering his phone. We set up and call him again. He says he's minutes away. Now it's 9:50 and he pulls up.

The club owner, dressed like a court jester is standing at the doorway. I'm rolling the guitard's cab in and ask the owner when the mics are going up to do a quick check and start. He asks me for the presale tickets he gave us. I leave the cab right there to get them from the guitard, who's still arguing with his girlfriend on the phone (his reason for coming late). He finds them where he left them and gives me his share. When I hand them to the owner he says "you guys didn't sell any". I say "no, where are the mics?" He repeats himself and I stare at him for a minute. "So what you're saying is you're not setting up a mic if we didn't sell tickets?" We packed up and left and our guitarist got a free pass. That was my first and last time dealing with a pay to play. If we would've known or seen it coming we would've had a nice Friday at home with our girlfriends and xboxes.

 

[PHILTHYinNC]

Here goes:

It's my senior year of high school in the late 70s. Every year, about a month before graduation, my high school had a Senior Field Day at the football stadium. Basically, it was a day to hang out outside, including lunch. I had been playing bass for about four years and playing in this band for about a year. We were a four piece (two guitars, bass, drums) doing rock and metal covers. One of the guitar players and I lobbied our principal to let our band play and he was cool with it.

I am now living the ROCK DREAM: I am going to play with my band in front of EVERY hot girl in the senior class!

To add to the awesomeness, a good keyboardist friend of mine was trying to sell a Kustom bass head and cabinet and suggested I borrow it for the gig. I'm not sure of the model, but it was covered in that awesome metal flake blue vinyl upholstery and was WAY cooler than my significantly less cool (but reliable!) Peavey TNT combo. My buddy had inherited this amp from his older brother who played guitar through it until he joined the Army.

We show up way early and set up on a flatbed trailer facing the grandstands. After getting a bit "tuned up" (instruments and mind, this was 1978), we get on the flatbed stage and the principal even introduces us! We sound great and my senior class is digging it, including the hottest girl in school! This is shaping up to the be the greatest day of my life.

Then, as our British brothers and sisters would say, it all came to tears.

Our drummer had a bass pedal that was so worn out, screws would back out of it and it would come apart. He assured us that it was "fixed" before the gig, but just as we're absolutely NAILING ZZ Top's "Heard It On The X", his pedal comes apart. To his credit, he played on and I don't think the audience really noticed, but eight songs into our set, we have to take a break so he can go to his truck to get the tools he needs to fix the pedal (of course he didn't bring them to the stage). As I said earlier, we sounded great and the crowd loved it, so the drummer runs the 1/4 mile to get to his truck to make the needed repairs. Including the trip, he estimated 30 to 45 minutes until we're rocking again. (Gig Rules Violation #1 - ALWAYS bring tools to the stage, along with the rest of your gear.)

I make the HUGE mistake of telling our lead guitar player/lead singer how much estimated time till we play again. I love this guy like a brother to this day, but in those days he was a bad mixture of Eddie Van Halen and Mick Jagger, i.e. had a huge ego. Two girls from the audience said they were going to slip off for a "smoke", so he says he's going with them and will be back in 20 minutes (Gig Rules Violation #2 - NEVER tell the lead guitar player ANYTHING that leads him to believe he has time to go get baked. Chain him to his amp if necessary!)

The drummer returns and makes an epic repair to his pedal in less than 30 minutes. We are now ready to resume the Greatest Rock Performance In The History Of Music.

Except the lead guitar player/singer is no where to be found. Our rhythm guitar player even gets on the damn PA and yells for him to get back to the stage. We wait another 15 or 20 minutes and nothing. We make the decision to play as a three-piece, but we have to play songs that the rest of us can sing. We launch into a revised set and surprisingly, we don't sound too bad and the crowd is loving it, including the hottest girl in school. For about five songs, it looks like we've snatched victory from the jaws of defeat.

Next song up is My Generation by the Who. I have not only mastered this song, including the bass lead, it's the one song that I was the lead singer on. Taking note of the location of the hottest girl in school, we launch into the song.

I haven't mentioned how much I was digging both the sound and the looks of that Kustom amp and cab. After the first song, I had made the decision to buy it. Anyway, we come to the bass lead on My Generation and I'm thinking "John Entwhistle, step back and let me demonstrate how this SHOULD be played". About halfway through the lead, I notice the amp is making some hellish squealing feedback. I keep playing but turn around to see if somebody was doing something to the amp. There's no one around the amp, but I do notice smoke coming from the head. About a second later, SPARKS AND FIRE belch out of this previously useful Kustom head and it dies. We finish the song with no bass and I'm feeling sick. (Gig Rules Violation 3 - NEVER audition any piece of gear at a gig unless you have a backup.)

However, the crowd goes nuts! They think it was a planned pyrotechnic!

Unfortunately, I now no longer have a functional amp. A friend in the audience offered to drive 6 miles away to my house and get the Peavey amp. I give him my keys and off he goes. In the interim, the rhythm guitar player suggests I plug directly into our 4 channel PA, but none of us had ever done this before and it sounded like crap. We played about three more songs before we ran out of stuff we could sing, but I've got a replacement amp on the way and the guy I borrowed the Kustom amp from volunteers to sing once I get a working amp.

Finally, our wayward lead guitarist shows up about an hour and a half after he left, obviously wasted. He then proceeds to get mad because we started playing without him! The rhythm guitar player doesn't say a word, walks up to the lead player and pops him right in the nose, resulting in a bloody nose and heated fist fight on stage. The principal breaks up the fight and hauls both of them into his office (both guys almost didn't get to participate in the graduation ceremony the next month). He also says "concert's over".

I've never played another gig where so much went wrong. However, even though that Kustom amp self destructed, I wish I had one like it today.

 

[PHILTHYinNC]

Oh, yeah. I almost forgot this one. It wasn't really bad, just funny.

Same band as previous story, but this is our first gig. As I said in the earlier story, the lead guitarist/singer was kind of a hybrid of Eddie Van Halen (playing ability, height, and hair) and Mick Jagger (face, singing ability and and ego) along with a healthy dose of Metallic KO-era Iggy Pop. The thing is, it didn't matter how much he drank or smoked, he always played and sang incredibly well. Aside from wanting to kill him from time to time, he was a perfect front man for this band.

We were playing a pool party at a friend's house about two weeks before the start of senior year of high school. His parents were super cool and didn't care how loud we played and since they lived out in the country, there weren't any noise complaints. We set up on the patio facing the pool about 3 in the afternoon and did a sound check. All went well, so we put our guitars in the house and went back home to get cleaned up for the start of the party at 6 PM.

The lead guitar player decided to increase his "stage presence" by playing shirtless with an American flag as a cape. Using some double sided carpet tape, he attached a roman candle (firework) to the neck of his guitar. The house was two stories tall, so he thought it would be a good idea for him to play the first set from the roof. The host's parents were OK with it and the rest of the band, including me, was too, so he went upstairs with his guitar and climbed out a window to the roof over the garage which was close enough to the "stage" that we could toss up a cord to his amp and a mic with stand. It took some doing and a couple of bricks, but he was able to get the mic and stand to remain relatively upright. Our opening song was Doctor Doctor by UFO. The plan was to turn out all the outside lights, have the guitar player do the solo intro and then when the rest of us kicked in, he would light off the roman candle and someone would turn on the lights.

He starts the song, we kick in, the lights come on and he's ROCKING OUT, shooting fireballs out of the neck of his guitar. When the guitar lead starts, he throws his head back, fireballs still shooting. EPIC!

Did I mention he was drunk?

Midway through the lead, he gets overbalanced, stumbles and FALLS OFF THE FREAKING ROOF! Thankfully, he's only one story up. As he's falling, he somehow removes his guitar, which still has a flaming roman candle attached and throws it on the grass. A fireball narrowly misses our drummer's head, but it was the last one. He manages to fall into some hedges. With no shirt on. When he emerged, he looked like he had been attacked by a rabid tiger with a score to settle. He grabs his guitar, which is undamaged and still hooked up and FINISHES THE SONG! We took a break so he could get cleaned up, but we played the rest of the night. Good times!

 

[Thor]

Classic!

And welcome to TB btw.

 

[crucislancer]

Here goes:

It's my senior year of high school in the late 70s. Every year, about a month before graduation, my high school had a Senior Field Day at the football stadium. Basically, it was a day to hang out outside, including lunch. I had been playing bass for about four years and playing in this band for about a year. We were a four piece (two guitars, bass, drums) doing rock and metal covers. One of the guitar players and I lobbied our principal to let our band play and he was cool with it.

I am now living the ROCK DREAM: I am going to play with my band in front of EVERY hot girl in the senior class!

To add to the awesomeness, a good keyboardist friend of mine was trying to sell a Kustom bass head and cabinet and suggested I borrow it for the gig. I'm not sure of the model, but it was covered in that awesome metal flake blue vinyl upholstery and was WAY cooler than my significantly less cool (but reliable!) Peavey TNT combo. My buddy had inherited this amp from his older brother who played guitar through it until he joined the Army.

We show up way early and set up on a flatbed trailer facing the grandstands. After getting a bit "tuned up" (instruments and mind, this was 1978), we get on the flatbed stage and the principal even introduces us! We sound great and my senior class is digging it, including the hottest girl in school! This is shaping up to the be the greatest day of my life.

Then, as our British brothers and sisters would say, it all came to tears.

Our drummer had a bass pedal that was so worn out, screws would back out of it and it would come apart. He assured us that it was "fixed" before the gig, but just as we're absolutely NAILING ZZ Top's "Heard It On The X", his pedal comes apart. To his credit, he played on and I don't think the audience really noticed, but eight songs into our set, we have to take a break so he can go to his truck to get the tools he needs to fix the pedal (of course he didn't bring them to the stage). As I said earlier, we sounded great and the crowd loved it, so the drummer runs the 1/4 mile to get to his truck to make the needed repairs. Including the trip, he estimated 30 to 45 minutes until we're rocking again. (Gig Rules Violation #1 - ALWAYS bring tools to the stage, along with the rest of your gear.)

I make the HUGE mistake of telling our lead guitar player/lead singer how much estimated time till we play again. I love this guy like a brother to this day, but in those days he was a bad mixture of Eddie Van Halen and Mick Jagger, i.e. had a huge ego. Two girls from the audience said they were going to slip off for a "smoke", so he says he's going with them and will be back in 20 minutes (Gig Rules Violation #2 - NEVER tell the lead guitar player ANYTHING that leads him to believe he has time to go get baked. Chain him to his amp if necessary!)

The drummer returns and makes an epic repair to his pedal in less than 30 minutes. We are now ready to resume the Greatest Rock Performance In The History Of Music.

Except the lead guitar player/singer is no where to be found. Our rhythm guitar player even gets on the damn PA and yells for him to get back to the stage. We wait another 15 or 20 minutes and nothing. We make the decision to play as a three-piece, but we have to play songs that the rest of us can sing. We launch into a revised set and surprisingly, we don't sound too bad and the crowd is loving it, including the hottest girl in school. For about five songs, it looks like we've snatched victory from the jaws of defeat.

Next song up is My Generation by the Who. I have not only mastered this song, including the bass lead, it's the one song that I was the lead singer on. Taking note of the location of the hottest girl in school, we launch into the song.

I haven't mentioned how much I was digging both the sound and the looks of that Kustom amp and cab. After the first song, I had made the decision to buy it. Anyway, we come to the bass lead on My Generation and I'm thinking "John Entwhistle, step back and let me demonstrate how this SHOULD be played". About halfway through the lead, I notice the amp is making some hellish squealing feedback. I keep playing but turn around to see if somebody was doing something to the amp. There's no one around the amp, but I do notice smoke coming from the head. About a second later, SPARKS AND FIRE belch out of this previously useful Kustom head and it dies. We finish the song with no bass and I'm feeling sick. (Gig Rules Violation 3 - NEVER audition any piece of gear at a gig unless you have a backup.)

However, the crowd goes nuts! They think it was a planned pyrotechnic!

Unfortunately, I now no longer have a functional amp. A friend in the audience offered to drive 6 miles away to my house and get the Peavey amp. I give him my keys and off he goes. In the interim, the rhythm guitar player suggests I plug directly into our 4 channel PA, but none of us had ever done this before and it sounded like crap. We played about three more songs before we ran out of stuff we could sing, but I've got a replacement amp on the way and the guy I borrowed the Kustom amp from volunteers to sing once I get a working amp.

Finally, our wayward lead guitarist shows up about an hour and a half after he left, obviously wasted. He then proceeds to get mad because we started playing without him! The rhythm guitar player doesn't say a word, walks up to the lead player and pops him right in the nose, resulting in a bloody nose and heated fist fight on stage. The principal breaks up the fight and hauls both of them into his office (both guys almost didn't get to participate in the graduation ceremony the next month). He also says "concert's over".

I've never played another gig where so much went wrong. However, even though that Kustom amp self destructed, I wish I had one like it today.

But, did the hottest girl in school give you her number? Or something else?

Awesome story. If my worst gig went that way, it wouldn't have been so bad.

 

[samson3382]

Probably not the WORST,
I had to play a gig I the hot sun, middle of summer, the day after getting my wisdom teeth pulled. I was on heavy painkillers, had gums packed with cotton, the taste of blood perpetual.
The combination of a sick stomach, heatstroke, and painkillers made for a challenge.
A marching band literally matched by the stage blasting away during our set, adding to the absurdity.

 

[PHILTHYinNC]

But, did the hottest girl in school give you her number? Or something else?

Awesome story. If my worst gig went that way, it wouldn't have been so bad.

Didn't get the digits. However, at my 20 year class reunion, she was looking mighty fine and recently divorced (as was I). The senior field day story came up and I told her I had been trying to impress her, which went over quite well!

 

[BrewsterRooster]

Worst gig, thankfully, was just a sit-in for me. I was passing through west central Illinois. I stayed a few days with an old musical buddy who was doing a pretty good duo thing with a keyboard player. They invited me to sit in on some gigs and I obliged, and a couple were huge fun. Great crowds, good tunes, and honestly, a savory assortment of well-turned heels. But one night there was a gig in Mexico, Missouri at some dirty little bar I'm sure I've repressed the name of. I don't know how they got roped into this one. There were more of us in the band (3) than in the audience (2), both of them large drunk hecklers. I recall playing about a set and a half before things tensed up between the stage and the floor. No bottles nor fisticuffs flew, but it was teetering on the brink. The bartender suggested that we save everybody a headache and just leave. Fine! Sleeping on a bed of nails would have been preferable to another set in that dungeon.

Not a very action-packed story but still a really crappy excuse for a gig.

 

[kiat]

maybe not as bad as the night i came down with flu doing an unrehearsed pickup gig, but at least i remember this one....
the band was hired for a wedding reception at a rural grange hall about an hour from home. i knew there would be keg beer and it was a hot july evening, so i brought my own 1/2 liter insulated beer stein. after a 2 opening hour set, i was ready for a beer...filled my jug and retired to my car to sit down for a bit. for some unknown reason, i decided that my jug would sit on my (un)tilted steering wheel while i attended other things....of course, the jug WOULD NOT balance on the steering wheel as i had envisioned and promptly spilled directly into my lap. this was a wedding reception, i was wearing khaki slacks, and i did look like i'd pissed myself several times. hmmmm.....no spare pants, and hour home, (and an hour back)...what to do, what to do. decided that my pants would at least look better if they were completely wet and was in the motions of doing precisely that when the guitar player comes out and see's what i'm doing.....after i explain, and he quits laughing, he offers me a pair of warm-ups that he has in his car.....the nylon kind that button up the side. what else could i do but try them...that being said, imagine the weight difference between a skinny ass guitarist and a rather portly bass player - yeah, they were tight, but the alternatives were no better, so i drug them on and we started the next set....all was well until the 2nd or 3rd tune when the top button on the warmups popped open....no big deal right?....until the 2nd, 3rd and 4th buttons let go. by this time i was holding up my pants with my guitar and trying to hold tempo while the drummer was convulsing in laughter....
we had to cut the set short for me to regroup and the drummer to quit crying. needless to say, i never travel far from home without a pair of spare, DRY pants......

This one had me chuckling out loud .

Reminded me of splitting my black dinner suit pants/trousers all the way round the back seam (with white underpants) at my brother's church wedding just before I had to go walk up to the stage to speak. Never clenched my ass so tight together, before or since

 

[Kevorargh]

I've had a few horrible ones in my time:

1. Some friends and I during college would come home and form a band - but it got to the point where we wanted to kill each other, so we decided to form a Neil Young cover band (let that roll around in your brains for a bit). We named it Mr. Soul because everyone would know that was associated with Neil Young, and booked a tryout gig at local club for $50 over two nights. We started playing after the bartender told us he expected studio quality sound after the first couple of songs (we were renting a crappy PA) and cleared the place in under an hour because we played no dance music. We were cancelled for the second night and I had to go get everyone's gear.

2. Played in a cover band with a horrendously loud guitar player who was not very good. He got us to play at a private party on the side of a mountain in a remote part of the state with the other band our drummer was playing with. The other band did not know we were coming, or that we were sharing their PA. So, after a 40 minute drive to the gig, we were canned after two songs. Then I got to jam a few songs with the other band who had no bass player. Later, the guitarist apologizes to me and lets me know some really personal stuff having to do with the drummer. Luckily, I broke my collarbone soon after and the band went kaput.

3. Lastly, I was making solo music and booked a concert at as local college I attended back in the day. Did the advertisement, etc. No one showed, except the people in charge go the room. So I played a set anyway and went home.

 

[Remyd]

Why aren't there more of these - this thread is friggin classic.?

I had a stinker the other week with an acoustic trio, but it doesn't even hold up to some of these.. Pouring down rain, late night on a Thursday. 3 bands for 3 bux at a new no-name venue with no traffic. FB page had 31 attending for just us. Actually 1 attendee the entire night from all 3 bands. And he left early in our set. 10 folks in the bands, 4 wives, 2 barmen, and 1 guest. All night. Pay was supposedly $12, but we gave it to one of the other bands (kids, first gig).

For some reason, load-in was 7:00 for sound check for an 10:30 start time. It was already raining, with worse weather on the way. I only had the bass and my gig bag, since the venue (which I had never seen) had PA. I was under the impression that it was like a lot of the concert venues in that part of town - tiny stage in the back with some crowd area behind a more traditional bar where the music wouldn't be so overwhelming.

This entire bar, including kitchen and bar area turned out to be 30x50, tops. Barman asked me to DI, setup an array of mics for the acoustic players, and wasn't really interested in our opinions about the not-loud requirements of our not-loud project. Sound checked and went to get dinner. Came back about 10:00 to the final strums of a teenage acoustic trio. They broke a few minutes later and we setup.

You know how sound check is supposed to check the sound of the band in the venue? At concert volume? You know how that last part sometimes gets left off the checklist and the guy bumps the faders to mindbending levels below 100hz? I'm not sure if St. James Infirmary Blues has ever been played louder or thumpier to any crowd of one guy in the history of dive bars. Turns out that the tiny venue, max 50, has 3kw of subs hidden away somewhere, 4 giant celing hung mains, custom boxes for monitors hidden in the rafters, and an speed-metal-hearted owner who is his own sound man.

 

[Pacman]

My band and I got mortared at a gig once...does that count?

 

[1st Bass]

Are we talking the "ordnance" variety of mortar, not the "holds-bricks-together" variety?
Yow...

 

[bassbully]

I've had a few in the past but here's a couple from this year. One was a gig where the singer got bombed and screwed up all night. She capped it off with stiffing me on my pay for the night. I did finally get paid.
Then there a gig (same band) where we had an opening band before us. There was 30-40 people in the club when the opening band ended. When we got on stage to setup all the people who were there left.
They were all friend's of the opening band. The band that opened for us (all four) did stay for half a set then left. We just packed up and went home.

 

[Jimmy4string]

Moar please!

 

[NoiseNinja]

Hands down the one where we all got stoned on gold chocolate (hot chocolate with hashish in it).

We managed to play one song properly and the intro of the second one of our set list before we realized we were too stoned to make any sense of what we were playing and had to give up.

Luckely it was at a private party where we didn't get payed and only were playing for the fun of it, or else we wouldn't probably have gotten us self stoned in the first place.

So no harm done really, although still a bit of an embarrassment.

 

[HenningSB]

I have a couple, but one that actually stands out is a fairly recent one.

#1
This was in february this year, we're playing a really cool venue where we've previously opened for Corrosion of Conformity two years before. Anywho, the band we're opening for is a weird jazz / metal / impro / hardcore - These guys are instrumental, and a three-piece. Their drummer (who has the most insane kit ever, he won't even tell how much it cost) we're guessing 10-15k $ but he's just shakin' his head.

But, as we get there at 4 o'clock for the get-in, the drummer is putting up his kit, ALL THE WAY AT THE FRONT OF THE STAGE.. And not on the drum-riser a bit back so we would have room in front of his kit. The drummer also refuses to share some of his drums to make the changeover go quicker / or even move his kit after he is done.

He then proceeds to use about 4-5 hours to tune and check his drums, with his bandmates coming in every now and then to soundcheck their own stuff, we're sitting, waiting, asking them to hurry up but nothing happens - We're just completely ignored by the band and their crew.

As we're awaiting to rig up and soundcheck our stuff, we can't go anywhere to get anything to eat or drink, as we're focusing on the gig. Doors open at 20:00, and the main act is done well after that, we rush to set up our stuff, and our drummer has to semi side-track on one side, with me standing in front of him and he's got my bass rig just next too him, making him hear nothing but my low-end. Our guitarist is separated from us by the main acts drummers kit, in the middle of the stage.

We rig up and soundcheck in about 15minutes, this is just 10 minutes before we hit the stage - We haven't had anything to eat or drink since about 11 AM, and its now 9 PM. We barely get through the gig without collapsing, I recall I had a part where I'm shouting quite alot and after that I take a breath in and black out for a split second before realizing that we're playing a gig. Also almost vomited a couple of times.

After the gig, we packed our poopie and just left.. I hate cocky bands that think they're so much better than you, and not respecting the guys that are opening for you, that's not how you make friends in the music business

 

[Pacman]

Are we talking the "ordnance" variety of mortar, not the "holds-bricks-together" variety?
Yow...

yeah, as in "incoming!" Such was gigging life in Balad

 

[1st Bass]

yeah, as in "incoming!" Such was gigging life in Balad

Well...thanks for serving, there...glad you made it home safely.

 

[Skeptismo]

I picked up a sub gig at a lakeside place about an hour away...the BL sent me confirmation that the gig started at eight. Seemed about right to me, 8-12 or 9-1 is pretty standard fare around here. Anyway, I am usually about an hour early so as to get set up and such...so I leave my place at 6. Halfway there, my phone blows up and he tells me the gig is pushed forward to 7. No help for it, I'm going to be late. I swallow my instant rage at lateness (it's a pet peeve of mine), and keep on truckin'. After I get there and just walk on and di for the last part of the first set, a very unpleasant owner lady hassles me during our break while I'm setting up the rest of my gear, as she evidently thinks our break is taking too long. No problem, I stay cool, tell here that we'll play an extra long second set, and keep the rage in check. During the 2nd set, things are going well until the guitarist invites a friend of his (who I don't know), up on stage to sit in on bass for a song, then turns to me and is like "you don't mind him borrowing your bass and stuff do you?"
I informed the guitarist that I was extremely displeased with this turn of events, and that while I would allow it this one time, it was an incident that must never be repeated. Rage still below the surface, mostly...a facial tic or two may have informed the guitarist of my true feelings.
All of this seems like b----y whining, and it probably is...until during the last set an elderly gentleman had a catastrophic MI, and I found myself assisting in CPR for about 35 minutes until EMS was able to make it on scene. Dude didn't make it, and with all that and its aftermath, I wasn't even able to leave until about 1:30 or so. For those of you who haven't had to perform CPR, it's actually quite taxing, and more than a little stressful knowing that it's the victims last chance. So I was actually quite worn out and frazzled when I finally packed up my stuff.
Just a super unpleasant time.
On the other hand, by suppressing my rage and demonstrating a willingness and ability to attempt to save lives, I was fortunate enough not to ruin my reputation, and have continued to get calls for work.