You might be a Guitard...

[/\/\3phist0]

You might be a ______ if:

You have a wireless for your guitar, but have 3 amps, 4 loops and 5 cords crossing the stage between you PB and your amps.

Play a Floyd Rose equipped guitar (because it Rocks duuude) NEVER put the tremolo arm in because you don't USE IT yet, cannot figure out why it will not stay in tune, and even more telling cannot hear that it goes sharp whenever you palm mute.

do not play a note unless it's a solo, because like, you're the lead guitarist.

 

[/\/\3phist0]

Something like that.
I let it be known that I'm offended by the term "tard". Opinions and conversations were shared. Tangents and arguments shot from many angles. Good forum, really.
I'll exit the thread. Carry on, wayward sons. Enjoy your circle jerk.
"Hey Whitey, where's your hat?"

Now that is MATURE inoffensive Humor.
Classy. You really showed us the high road.
Home | Couche-Tard

Words only have the power we assign them.

 

[Son of Wobble]

hey now, my Name is Ray, so you can imagine they "jokes" thrown at me. (insipid Rhymes)
Tall, Slight, Fine Boned, Swimmer, Long Hair, 6 Foot plus by 13----- "pretty" by some standards....

You should have just copped to being pretty to begin with as that is carte blanche to get away with most anything.

Freshen that drink?

 

[mellowinman]

hey now, my Name is Ray, so you can imagine they "jokes" thrown at me. (insipid Rhymes)
Tall, Slight, Fine Boned, Swimmer, Long Hair, 6 Foot plus by 13----- "pretty" by some standards....
I had by share of insults and put downs.
My skin got thick, little offends me.

I feel it is my duty to point out that you seem offended by others being offended. Only fair!

 

[/\/\3phist0]

I feel it is my duty to point out that you seem offended by others being offended. Only fair!

I'm offended, by FALSE HYPOCRITICAL, pontificating.
I offend myself by being offended

 

[mellowinman]

I'm offended, by FALSE HYPOCRITICAL, pontificating.
I offend myself by being offended

Let's just hope this is your first offense.

 

[/\/\3phist0]

Let's just hope this is your first offense.

It wont be my last... my hero Lewis Black:

 

[Fretless1!]

And not all Flemish people have a hard time clearing their throats. Food for thought.

Is that true or did you just make that up?

 

[samson3382]

@Andy_Madison I find it HILARIOUS
Hysterically funny, that you are SOOOO offended... when you have THIS as your profile quote---
View attachment 756944
as if there was a more even handed, Base humored intentionally offensive movie ever made (Blazing Saddles)...love it--- but it reveals your true colors.

You sir are what is called a Hypocrite

"It's True It's True"

Sorry couldn't help it.

 

[ChefKen]

Guitarist and bassist walk into a bathroom and use the urinals.....Guitar player finishes first and washes his hands. The bass player finishes and goes to leave. Guitarist says " we guitar players wash our hands....you are disgusting". Bass player says....." Bass players don't piss on their hands.".....

 

[BAG]

So please don't think the "gui****" label applies to all guitarists...far from it.

I'd be surprised if anyone on here thinks the term applies to all guitarists. I've been a guitarist for 30 years and a bass player for only two. My two daughters are guitarists and the eldest one is a far better musician than I ever have been or will be even though I taught her guitar. She's taught herself riffs and runs that I'll never be able to do. She's taught herself piano, Irish tin whistle, bass, uke and more. She's the kind of singer and guitarist that surprises sound guys when she asks for less guitar or vocals in her monitor.

I'd never heard the term guit@rd until I got onto TB and the first time I heard it I laughed. Having worked as a roadie for some of Australia's biggest bands in the '80's I have come across almost all of the types of guitarists that have been lampooned on this thread.

It's like saying that all New Zealanders like their sheep too much. I've never met a Kiwi that has done that with a sheep (and hope i never do) but jokes about Kiwi's and sheep are still common.... and funny! And i'm married to a Kiwi.

Yeah yeah yeah… I'll just say all of those years getting called a "fag" with the same cadence are just a fluke. lol.

This is just another one of those "be a man about it" insults and it's in the same class as: 'pussy,' 'wuss,' 'fag,' etc

I had to grow up with the surname of Gay. When my dad grew up it meant "happy" but by the time I was in school the word had somehow come to mean "homosexual". I've got plenty of gay friends who still make gay jokes with me as the reference. We have a laugh. I could have gotten all offended when people laughed or made jokes about my name but I just laughed it off. My brother couldn't do that and ended up changing his name. When I had to start a new school and some people had a laugh at my name I put up a $100 bounty for the person that could come up with a joke about my name that I hadn't heard before. Couldn't be done. I just wish I could remember the play on words about my name that I received in an email a couple of years ago from a sales rep. It made me laugh so hard due to the fact that it was the first original joke about my name that I'd heard in over 30 years. So yeah...... i'd say get over it.

 

[RoadRanger]

Speaking of words changing meaning, kinda sad you'll never hear this hit on the radio anymore:

 

[BAG]

I was going to delete that last post after thinking about it but as it's been seen I'll leave it there. It may be food for thought for those that get offended over this post.

The term Guitard was in the title of the thread. If it offends you why did you even open the thread? The only logical conclusion is that you wanted to come on to a humor thread to show how much more compassionate, grown up and understanding you are than those posting jokes. As happens all too often these days, people who disagree with what others are saying want to shut them up. Well, you've succeeded in derailing another humor thread.

 

[Son of Wobble]

Speaking of words changing meaning, kinda sad you'll never hear this hit on the radio anymore:

The dude in the song had so many dreams - yet lets himself be bought out sooo cheap, for mere crackers and beer.

Me, I'm having it large, offering the ladies corn on the cob

 

[RoadRanger]

Going to talk about putting together a 60's show band in an hour, maybe do that song - maybe change "straight" to "square"?

 

[Son of Wobble]

Going to talk about putting together a 60's show band in an hour, maybe do that song - maybe change "straight" to "square"?

What, and put your foot through a lyrical Rembrandt???

My girl overheard the song as I played it on Youtube and commented wryly on just how many syllables had been packed into its svelte two minutes forty seconds.
Does indeed seem like the lyricist was getting paid by the word.
There are some pretty chord changes to be sure, but the entire lyric is so absurd by contemporary standards that I'd leave "straight" right where it is, for time has rendered this a kitsch classic.

 

[keyofnight]

I had to grow up with the surname of Gay. When my dad grew up it meant "happy" but by the time I was in school the word had somehow come to mean "homosexual". I've got plenty of gay friends who still make gay jokes with me as the reference. We have a laugh. I could have gotten all offended when people laughed or made jokes about my name but I just laughed it off. My brother couldn't do that and ended up changing his name. When I had to start a new school and some people had a laugh at my name I put up a $100 bounty for the person that could come up with a joke about my name that I hadn't heard before. Couldn't be done. I just wish I could remember the play on words about my name that I received in an email a couple of years ago from a sales rep. It made me laugh so hard due to the fact that it was the first original joke about my name that I'd heard in over 30 years. So yeah...... i'd say get over it.

Get over it? I'm fine, but we need to change things. I'm not alone in this either.

 

[The Chuck]

If I NEVER see another guitar with a Floyd Rose on it, it will be too soon!

 

[BAG]

If I NEVER see another guitar with a Floyd Rose on it, it will be too soon!

Hey!! Where's the trigger warning?

You just took me back to my late teenage years when I had a Kramer guitar with an early Floyd Rose. Such a great sounding guitar that couldn't stay in tune for more than half a song, even without touching the tremolo. Sooooo much frustration. I had a professional guitar tech set it up (he worked on the road for a lot of top guitarists in the 70's and 80's) and it was a bit better but after numerous attempts he gave up on it too. It was the last electric guitar I owned. Nothing but acoustics since then.

And yes, in my teens I was the classic guitard. Too loud was never loud enough. I blew up my dads stereo before I owned a decent amp and proceeded to blow up at least one amp before I turned 18.

 

[keyofnight]

I was going to delete that last post after thinking about it but as it's been seen I'll leave it there. It may be food for thought for those that get offended over this post.

The term gui**** was in the title of the thread. If it offends you why did you even open the thread? The only logical conclusion is that you wanted to come on to a humor thread to show how much more compassionate, grown up and understanding you are than those posting jokes. As happens all too often these days, people who disagree with what others are saying want to shut them up. Well, you've succeeded in derailing another humor thread.

It's not about us "being offended"…it's about folks not looking like jackasses. It's about not making the world a worse place. It's about respect. It's about a lot of stuff that I shouldn't have to tell other grown-ups about.