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I really hate to ask this advice here, but I'm at a loss....

dave-chaulk

dave-chaulk

Jun 27, 2009
608
4
Newfoundland, Canada.
www.dave-chaulk.deviantart.com
#1
sorry if this is the wrong place to post this, or if you've heard it a thousand times, but I trust nobody more than I trust talkbass.

the best way to start this post - "So, there's this girl", and we've been the best of friends for the past 5 or 6 years. I asked her out a few times in the past, and she's said no, but it's never effected our relationship at all.
now I want to ask her to grad (Canadian equivilant to the american "prom"), but I don't know how!
she keeps hinting at me that she wants me to ask her, but I don't know what to do!

any old farts (or young farts) on here with any advice?

Geeze, I really hope none of my friends are on this website...
 
#4
You're best of freinds with her for years, you've already asked her out a few times and she said no but it didn't affect your friendship, and now you're afraid to ask her to the prom. Plus she's hinting that she wants you to ask her. Something's missing.
 
#5
Ask her if she wants to go, make it casual, like you're going as friends. You'll still go through all the motions of a real date (at least in the states, like dressin up in a tux, taking pictures, entertaining the parents, etc.) Just act normal and be yourself, have a few drinks together, and see if you can snag a kiss or more after~!
 
#6
Joe, something is missing - my balls (parden my blunt-ness, and ofcourse I'm not speaking literally)

I just don't know how to do it! I know what I have to do, but can't.
something I didn't mention: I know it's cliche and lame, but I've had a thing for her ever since I first saw her (Now I'm speaking literally) and it's just been getting heavier and heavier. please don't mis-interpret that.
 
#9
Personally, I wouldn't do it. But I'm weird. I wouldn't have asked her out more than once, either, even if I still wanted to. What is she doing, making those kinds of hints? She shouldn't be. If she wanted to go to grad with me, after already turning me down more than once, sure as hell she'd have to ask ME to get even a chance. What am I gonna think?? Stupid girl.
 
#11
Tell her that if neither of you find a date, that the two of you should go together as friends. See how she treats it. If shes really into going with you, you should be able to figure that out shortly there after.

Good way to throw it in there in a non threatning or intimidating matter. Remember, she might feel awkward having turned you down other times but wanting you to ask now.

Give it a shot
 
#14
Well, if you want to maintain the current relationship, you can go with a soft approach:
Ask if she is already planning on going. She will probably respond with "yes, with..." if someone else has asked, to which you reply "ok" or "that's cool" or whichever sentiment that would be a normal casual response for you and then go on with normal conversation about something else like it's no big deal.

If she says "no", ask why not and she will probably say either she doesn't like that kind of thing (probably not true) or "because no one has asked". Or she may say "I don't know..." or "I was thinking about it" or something like that. If any of these come up, then CASUALLY, but CONFIDENTLY respond with something like "ok, would you like to go together?"

If she says no when you ask, then go on as normal like it's no big deal. If she says yes, then affirm that you are glad you will be going with her, then go on as normal and don't start babbling like the gleeful fool you will be.

BUT...If you really have a thing for her like you said and are getting to the "can't stand the 'friend zone' anymore" point, just go for it and be bold:
Tell her matter-of-factly "I've decided to ask the most beautiful girl I know to go to Grad with me", then when she asks "who?", you tell her you want to HER to accompany you... Cheesy? Maybe, but hey, stuff like that works in the movies :D

Don't forget flowers...
 
#15
Dr. Love said:
Well, if you want to maintain the current relationship, you can go with a soft approach:
Ask if she is already planning on going. She will probably respond with "yes, with..." if someone else has asked, to which you reply "ok" or "that's cool" or whichever sentiment that would be a normal casual response for you and then go on with normal conversation about something else like it's no big deal.

If she says "no", ask why not and she will probably say either she doesn't like that kind of thing (probably not true) or "because no one has asked". Or she may say "I don't know..." or "I was thinking about it" or something like that. If any of these come up, then CASUALLY, but CONFIDENTLY respond with something like "ok, would you like to go together?"

If she says no when you ask, then go on as normal like it's no big deal. If she says yes, then affirm that you are glad you will be going with her, then go on as normal and don't start babbling like the gleeful fool you will be.

BUT...If you really have a thing for her like you said and are getting to the "can't stand the 'friend zone' anymore" point, just go for it and be bold:
Tell her matter-of-factly "I've decided to ask the most beautiful girl I know to go to Grad with me", then when she asks "who?", you tell her you want to HER to accompany you... Cheesy? Maybe, but hey, stuff like that works in the movies :D

Don't forget flowers...
Click to expand...

Listen to this man, he's a doctor.


And then report back! it comforts me to know that a fellow Canadian bass player has success with women.
 
#17
For the record, this thread is useless without pictures!

OK, here`s the deal. Ask her. But don`t ask her in a manner that`s like, "hey, if no one else asks you" "we could go as friends" "if no one better asks" or any of that BS. I know it`s hard, but stand firm and be a man about it. She`ll react much more positively to that in the long run.
 
#19
so "no" on regular dates and now hints about the "grad" ?

Hmmm, sounds like either you are mis-reading her 'cuz you really really really want to have her go with you (wishing overcoming reality) or she wants you to ask (the so-called hints) cuz no one else has asked and she just wants to go.

Sounds like tap-dancing B.S. to me either way.
Wake up, get over it, ask someone else.
 

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