i liek what someone said back there, ask him when he wants to be home by, if he says 3 am then say no, but if he says well could i be be out to 11:30 tomorrow, say sure but im getting you up at 8 to mow the lawns so you better be fresh 
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17 year old curfew
- Thread starter Edwcdc
- Start date
^ Great advice on how to raise a cow bell loving, ex-patriate
liberal commie pinko Nazi fascist that wears Santa suits and smells like pickles, red cabbage, sardines and Vodka.
I love you, man
I resent that sir! I don't just wear Santa suits, I become one with a suit! You can say that Suit wears me as I AM Santa!
No presents for you next year! Unless i get something i like next to those cookies! You know how sick of the milk i am after drinking million glasses, You know too much milk is not good for you!
It does make sense actually,
Create low self-esteem in a child, then they won't have any friends which means no staying up late because no one wants to hang out with them anyway... As far as drugs... If kid doesn't know anyone, makes it hard to find a good hook up... Problem solved...
Also, beat your kids:
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I had to obide by the town curfew law untill 16. 17+ dident matter. So long as I dident wake my parents when I came in. They just dident want hassle from the fuzz.
Please do not photoshop me in an SS uniform.
Since when did you become an expert mind reader, Agent Ed?
If he really is a good kid you probably don't need to set a curfew at all. When I was 17 I was living in Tokyo with my grandmother, so my situation doesn't really apply, but my older brother went to high school in the US. My parents never set a curfew for him, but they had a rule that he had to let them know where he was. He always got good grades, never got into trouble, etc, so they pretty much trusted him to do whatever. My dad even told him if he was at a party and couldn't find a sober ride home he'd pay for a cab. I don't think my brother ever drank in high school though.
Another quick thought on all this curfew business - Parents do not create curfews to be "Nazis" and by no means does a curfew "hurt the child" (not that anybody is buying any of that anyway, I just wanted to say it)
Obeying a curfew is a matter of common courtesy. A few years back, for reasons I won't get into, I had to stay with some friends for awhile. I realized then, that even though I was in my early 30's and staying at a friends house - it was common courtesy to let him know when I expected to be home or if I wasn't coming home at all on any given night.
If I came in by around 8:00 on a work night several nights in a row, and then suddenly one night didn't make it until 2:00 or maybe not at all - He would worry that maybe I'd been in a car accident or something.
As a matter of common courtesy I would let him know when I could be expected and if I was running very late, I'd call.
This was my friend. We were 30. This didn't make him a controlling Nazi or hurt me in any way. It's how people who care about each other behave.
Obeying a curfew is a matter of common courtesy. A few years back, for reasons I won't get into, I had to stay with some friends for awhile. I realized then, that even though I was in my early 30's and staying at a friends house - it was common courtesy to let him know when I expected to be home or if I wasn't coming home at all on any given night.
If I came in by around 8:00 on a work night several nights in a row, and then suddenly one night didn't make it until 2:00 or maybe not at all - He would worry that maybe I'd been in a car accident or something.
As a matter of common courtesy I would let him know when I could be expected and if I was running very late, I'd call.
This was my friend. We were 30. This didn't make him a controlling Nazi or hurt me in any way. It's how people who care about each other behave.
Up until I was about 15 I had to tell my parents where I was, who I was with and usually had to be home by about midnight. After that, the basic idea was that as long as I didn't get brought home in a police car or an ambulance they weren't really bothered.
They knew that I was a relatively responsible teen though, so it basically boils down to how you trust your son. Not being able to get home independently would probably be a worry for me as well, in your situation.
They knew that I was a relatively responsible teen though, so it basically boils down to how you trust your son. Not being able to get home independently would probably be a worry for me as well, in your situation.
I guess I just have a hard time with just letting him run the streets at all hours of the night. I'm not ready to go without a curfew but I am considering making it later.
I would like to think that maybe I had at least a little to do with him being a good kid. Maybe my stupid rules and that I make him accountable for his actions has helped a little. I also don't drink, smoke, or do drugs and that has rubbed off on him. Heck I don't even cuss around him.
It is the greatest feeling knowing that your child loves you and that he looks up to you and is proud of you.
I hope that telling him that I love him and that I'm proud of him makes him feel good as well. I think he is proud of himself that he is not into drugs and such. He hates when his friends drink but I told him that he shouldn't expect them to just because he doesn't.
I have to say, judging from your posts it sounds like you're doing a good job. However the curfew works out its unlikely (in this case at least) to be a make or break issue.
Just because he doesn't have a curfew doesn't mean you have to let him run wild all night. You could make it a rule that after a certain time, say 11pm, he has to call you and let you know where he is and when he expects to be home. If you don't approve of what he's up to or get a bad vibe you can tell him to come home. This way he doesn't feel saddled by a curfew but you don't stay up worrying about what he's up to.
If you do decide to stick with a curfew I think 11pm is too early for weekends. It's pretty easy to stay out past midnight just watching a movie or even grabbing a bite to eat with some friends.
Be in the house by 11 on weeknights, 12 weekends... this is what I had until I left for college, except for a special occasion.
I agree with everything here.
I do let him extend the curfew when there is an event or specific activity involved. When he is with his friends that I know, I don't have much of a problem saying it's cool to stay out a little later. I will give it a couple of weeks and sit down and talk about it with him and my wife and see what we come up with.
