Enjoy the benefits of a premium membership!
Upgrade Account
-
TalkBass has been independent since 1998. Add your voice.
Create a free account to reply to discussions, view embedded media, and browse with fewer display ads.
Join free Log in
Want zero display ads or expanded classifieds tools? Compare plans.
Am I being unreasonable?
- Thread starter MisterFabulous
- Start date
Definitely not being unreasonable. You are actually being rather ridiculous. People have lives, and given the situation no way I would be giving up my Friday night to go see a CL rando gig with another band, especially if there hasn't even been a phone conversation yet. Your offer is not so much an invitation, as a red flag.
Yes, you're being unfair. There's more to their lives than you, and watching you at a gig wouldn't tell them how hard it would be to work with you. Also, have you thought about what would happen if your two bands wanted to play the same night?
Last edited:
Hummergeist
Commercial User
- Jul 21, 2020
- 1,269
- 3,084
- Disclosures
- Tutorials, reviews, and interviews for Future Publishing.
It's reasonable for you to invite them, but it's also reasonable for them to be unwilling/unable to make it. If I was auditioning somebody, I wouldn't go and see them play with another band.
I wouldn't go either, most likely. I probably have other plans even if it's just to chill at home. My free time is precious so I choose carefully how I use it. At this short notice? I think it's not surprising that they can't make it.
Yes, you're right, seeing you in action is probably useful, but not the only way. Personally I want to find how people fit in my band and I would not get that from watching you play with others. I want to see how adaptable they are, whether our communication is good, etc etc
If I were you I'd also not choose that option because they may see you play, but what about you? The audition is a two way street: you want to see what they are like as well.
But that's you, and if you like that awesome. It's not reasonable to expect everybody else operate the same way.
Personally I don't think that it's a great way to find out anything. They would not know what you're like (other than you can play X, Y and Z song, big deal... not) and you would have zero indication what they're like.
Don't you have some live video of your band? That would serve the same purpose much more effectively.
I don't know about that. I think being open and clear is a much better option to keep your sanity long term.
I'm rarely in just one band. Everybody is aware just like I'm aware of their other projects. It seems weird not to. In fact, I've got quite a few gigs (sub and permanent) from bandmates who know someone who is looking for a bass player and they think I'd fit in.
Would not worry about it . Some musicians never go out and see other local bands perform . If I'm not playing on the bill , I rarely go see local musicians .
i’ll echo what others have said, and add that it’s rare to see such a unanimous consensus… and lots of responses from pros/semi pros on this thread! i’d definitely give that the appropriate weight!
And you would probably cancel another gig to see someone else's show? Do you know why they can't make it?
Well that's you. Other people are not you. You asked a question and talkbass responded.
Why did you ask if you were just going to doubledown on your position?
Were you just seeking validation?
buldog5151bass
Kibble, milkbones, and P Basses. And redheads.
That's YOU. Who knows? Maybe THEY have an early gig, maybe they got three similar others invites, maybe they all are sick.
It's THEIR band, they can handle auditions as they want.
This is how you are being unreasonable, expecting everyone to simply agree that your idea is the greatest and fall in line. For whatever reason, the band you want to audition for can't align their lives to fit your vision. As a professional one would expect you to accept that, make the phone call and figure out when you're going to audition. If I were the prospective band leader and you continued to push the issue I would flag you as "difficult to work with" and move on.
It's not. It's zero cost win for you (audition with zero extra effort on your part)
and an inconvenience for them.
Why not try a different tack, see if they will send you a couple of tracks without the bass part, fill in for that, send it back... If they like it you'll have plenty to go on. The main advantage of this is it gives you time to respond, and get used to what they do, so if you meet it will go quicker and easier then. There's no certainty anyone wants to work that way but it could be very useful if they do. A lot of collaborations work that way all the time, especially when people can't meet up to play live.
Yes you are being unreasonable.
You gave them one day’s notice. So the person who responded has something else already planned for that evening. Also they are being responsible in not answering on behalf of the other people in the band, who may not have even seen your post.
Sounds like the kind of considerate, non-codependent people I would like to make music with.
Sure it could be convenient, but would you cancel, for example, on a dinner celebrating your wedding anniversary to go see a stranger’s band? Would you skip out on your child’s birthday party? You don’t know what commitment they may already have, and frankly, you should re-center on the idea that it’s not all about you, nor all about, “the band, man!”
Unreasonable. You need to play with them to see if there's any chemistry.
