Amazing John Turner facts.

[machine gewehr]

JT's basses have 7 more strings on the back of the fretboard,he plays them with his thumb&belly.

 

[FreaqyFrequency]

I heard he turned down the role of Darth Vader in Star Wars when the wouldn't give him a 7 bladed lightsaber.

Dinosaurs aren't extinct, JT banned them.

I believe we have a tie for best thus far.

 

[MakiSupaStar]

John Turner's couch has been spotted in over 600 pron videos. I personally oversaw the research for this statistic.

 

[Darkstrike]

John Turner's couch has been spotted in over 600 pron videos. I personally oversaw the research for this statistic.

That explains why its such a big couch nicley too.

 

[Curtybob]

JT lost his virginity before his father did.

He was tossed out of 42 elementary schools as a child for forcing his teachers into submission with his "evil eye". He would instruct them to wet themselves and do the truffle shuffle in front of the class, while he shot them with his modified Conklin Red Ryder 7-barrel BB gun.

 

[fetfet]

JT is making Elephants extinct, unless they change their name to Flummerys. It explains why there are so few elephants, and so few Flummerys.

 

[Phalex]

John Turner logs on to TB to chew bubble gum and kick ass.

John Turner does not have any bubble gum.

 

[CapnSev]

I saw John Turner eat a whole cake once before all his buddies could tell him there was a stripper inside.

 

[bassteban]

I saw John Turner eat a whole cake once before all his buddies could tell him there was a stripper inside.

This is already in Matos' post. Read it all- your sides will hurt. On topic, JT recently thought it would be funny if Bono got caught in an embarrassing(to some )position w/a bikin-clad bimbo. Now look what's happened.

 

[MatticusMania]

John Turner owes me $55.

John Turner can keep my $55.

 

[MakiSupaStar]

John Turner owes me $55.

John Turner can keep my $55.

Based on my calculations you now owe John Turner $55.

 

[Mazatleco17]

John Turner is not Politically Correct. He is just Correct. Always!!!!

 

[bassteban]

Based on my calculations you know owe John Turner $55.

My very thoughts.

I once dreamed I killed John Turner & woke up inside out from wrestling w/the implications. I'm still recovering.

 

[EricF]

The words "john turner" come from an extinct Native American language that, roughly translated, mean "you will be banned".

 

[Thunderscreech]

John Turner is the only person able to ban the entire internet.

 

[MatticusMania]

Here you go, John Turner, the $55 I owe you.

 

[Croox]

If you introduce your mother to John Turner, she will introduce you to your Birth father.

 

[Darkstrike]

John Turner has the power to ban people from real life, not just in cyberspace.

 

[Croox]

john turner uses B strings as Dental Floss

 

[Phalex]

Theologians believe that the "Beast with seven strings" mentioned in the Book of Revelation foretells the coming of John Turner.

On a side note, John Turner's middle name is Apollyon.