Bad attitude, or am I overthinking this?

[Forty-Thirty]

I've never approached anyone that I don't know to talk about playing together before, and I have an interaction I'd love your thoughts on.

I saw an ad on Craigslist this afternoon from a guy who is a singer/songwriter type and is looking for people to play with and improve with. I am also looking for people to play with and help me improve, so I contacted him. He said he plays a little guitar and has another guy he plays with sometimes, but was looking for a bassist and a drummer. I told him I'm a beginning bassist, but can learn quickly and have similar goals to the ones he stated. He had a SoundCloud page and had some folksier type music on it, which I am not opposed to, and I sent him the only recording I have of me playing with another person. It's from a jam session (my very first ever) with my dad at Christmas when I had only been playing about 6 months. It's not bad at all, but I like to think I've improved since then. I told him this was from months ago and my first ever jam, so it's not necessarily an indication of my best.

He wrote back and said a few things that concern me a little, and I'm not sure if I'm being overly sensitive or if I should be a little wary. He said, "I listened to your jam with your dad. He's really good! I'm not saying you're not, but it was more of a keyboard showpiece. For me, bass is something I don't really notice unless it's just all wrong. But you obviously got a little swing in you!"

Um. Ok. There's a bit of a compliment at the end, but it's also kind of a dig at bass in general and maybe at me personally. Anyway, it was really off-putting to me.

He also said, "I'm definitely interested in talking some more and/or just getting together to see what happens music-wise. Sounds like we have the same aims-- just to get better and for me, to flesh out all these songs that are driving me crazy."

And it's the "all these songs that are driving me crazy" line that gives me pause, too--he doesn't seem to think bass is all that interesting/important, and he's also got his own stuff swirling around in his head, so I wonder how much of this would be collaborative and how much would be just him trying to get his own stuff done.

So... what do you make of this? Thanks!

 

[1st Bass]

How could it hurt? You gain experience, and maybe some notoriety as a bassist. Take your Dad along.

 

[Michael B]

All he had to do was say, sounds cool, we have the same goals. He didn't.

I would pass. He sounds like he's full of something, himself, opinions, other.

 

[bassbully]

I don't see much harm here. Go for it all you might waste is some time.

 

[Icemanaroonie]

Judging by the snippets of his email it seems like he really wants to focus on himself, and his own music. I would actually say go for it. I know some people that come across as terrible human beings over email, but that's just because that's how they sound over email. If it's convenient for you, you might as well give it a shot.

 

[blubass]

I'd say you're over-thinking it a bit. It's hard to judge someone based on a typed message with little to no emotion. He feels the way a lot of people feel about bass when they have no clue what the bass really does for music. It sounds like he's looking out for himself in this case. He didn't lie to you, or sugar-coat anything.

 

[chungweishan]

Overthinking.

As you stated, your recording was made after 6 months playing. His comment about bass is basically what most non-bassists think about it, it's only noticeable when it's wrong or at the forefront of the music. Which he also commented it wasn't ("keyboard showpiece.") You weren't wrong, you had swing. Or call it groove. Or call it innate musical talent for a starting bassist/musician.

"to flesh out all these songs that are driving me crazy."
This is when the composer overthinks, and doesn't have the talent, ability, and/or means to fully complete a composition.

For example, let's say I composed a groovy bass line, but I want a Electric Piano comping jazz chords. I don't have have the skills to play piano, so I'll need a pianist to flesh out the idea. And perhaps that idea might be horrible after hearing it live.

Keep in open mind about his songs. Maybe you'll have good ideas when collaborating musical ideas. Your best bet is to go over his songs from Soundcloud, again, and figure out some bass lines to play for him if and when you meet. Come prepared.

 

[CatSquare]

I have a feeling it's going to be all about him, but maybe that's okay for a casual jam. I tend to leave stuff like this pretty open ended, just go in with zero expectations and you'll be fine. I love being creative and would love to be able to play songs that I had input on, but it's got to be with the right folks. Sometimes it's fun to let someone else be the alpha and just play for the inherent joy in it.

 

[catcauphonic]

If its not a lot of out of the way hassle for you, i say go for it and see where it leads. If he's a control freak & expects to dictate your bass parts, you'll find out soon enough. It could be the start of something amazing! (Or not) so keep us posted!

 

[Crazy Otto]

overthinking! just try it, you have nothing to lose but time. email is one of the worst mediums for gaining insight into a person's character, the only way to know for sure is to try it out in person.

 

[charlie monroe]

I'd give it a shot, assuming you really were okay with the "folksier" type of tunes you heard.
Play along with them a few times and then decide.

How else is a person with two basses going to get them out of the house?

Are they both still red?

 

[hrodbert696]

I agree, there's nothing to lose by meeting up and seeing how it goes actually playing with the guy. He could turn out to be cool enough, and the music might be good, or he might turn out to be more of a jerk in person. That's the thing about getting started and tossing your bread on the waters of craigslist - there are plenty of flakes and wannabes out there, but the only thing you can do is check them out and sift through them till you find a project that works. I agree - and it's typical of the singer-songwriter type - he sounds a bit self-absorbed. It's his project and whatever other musicians play with him will be along for the ride. It's up to you to decide if that meets your goals or not. The line about not noticing the bass unless it's wrong is kinda funny and probably tells you what to expect.

 

[Joe Nerve]

I'd say you're over-thinking it a bit. It's hard to judge someone based on a typed message with little to no emotion. He feels the way a lot of people feel about bass when they have no clue what the bass really does for music. It sounds like he's looking out for himself in this case. He didn't lie to you, or sugar-coat anything.

I agree with this.

There's no telling what's going on behind someone's words in an email. He could be great guy who you'll learn lots with. And I didn't see anything all that off putting in what he said. Maybe lacking in a tiny bit of sensitivity towards a bass player, but before I started playing bass I might just have easily said the same. I think there's truth in it too... if you don't hear anything wrong going on, then there's something good going on. I kinda saw it as a compliment.

More importantly... it's going to be a tough ride as a musician if you continue to take things to heart that quickly. I know it's not an overnight, "I'll just stop doing that now," sort of thing to desensitize ourselves to the things people say, but I really do think it's important to learn how to let things like this go. There's going to be a lot tougher criticism coming down the road, and if one doesn't learn how to accept it all and use it to their advantage, me thinks they're going to sink rather quickly. Or just become really miserable.

For some reason a great book I read a long time ago just popped into my head, so I'll put it out there. The Four Agreements. Some awesome stuff in there that I feel applies perfectly to these types of situations. Think I might actually read it again.

 

[Downunderwonder]

Insert old joke about the tourist turning up in deepest darkest Africa. Getting off the plane he hears the drums, cool, I be in Africa! Checking into his hotel, more drums, sweet! Sitting by the pool, drum background, all good. Go get dinner in the restaurant, yep, drums, hey it's Africa! Go to bed, more drums, more drums, more drums. Damn, he goes down to the front desk, ''I can't sleep, what's the deal with the drums?". "Sir, drums good, very good Sir! When drums stop.....bass solo!"

Composer dude is not alone in his attitude to bass, not by a long shot. Yet he knows he needs bass. So give him some bass and see what he says next.

 

[charlie monroe]

Just to continue @Joe Nerve's slight derail, in addition to Ruiz, there is an author named Paulo Coelho that also writes some good introspective stuff.

 

[buldog5151bass]

You downplayed your recordin as well. He may have been trying to make you feel relaxed, he may be a po9r communicator, he may be a $&*$. Also, not all people look to feature bass. James Taylor is not known for bass solos, but Lee Sklar's work there is amazing.

Unless your time is at a premium, nothing to lose by meeting the guy.

 

[40Hz]

I'd suggest giving it a whirl.

Unless you're a mind reader as well as a bassist, there's no way of really knowing till you play with the person. I don't see any major red flags in what he's said so far, although my being a guy could just mean I'm reading him differently than you are. So go with your gut.

FWIW, meeting the occasional idiot, flake, and/or egotist is all part of a bass player's education. Because there are a lot of them out there. So you're going to meet your share. And truth is, some of them are are going to turn out to be extremely talented musicians whom you're actually going to want to work with if you're given the opportunity, god help you. So meeting and learning how to deal with all sorts of space cadets is not only beneficial to your own development as a musician - it's probably unavoidable as well.

Look at it this way…you're a professor. If you can negotiate the minefield of personalities, and nuance the politics found in the academic world, then the people you encounter in the music world should be a piece of cake for you to deal with.

Luck!

 

[ThatGingerMojo]

One thing you need to keep in mind as a bass player; Guitarist and Singers never acknowledge the bass player. We are a necessary evil, and something they do no t understand. Why do you think there are so many bass player jokes out there? I am stereotyping a little here so bear with me, most guitar players have no idea what you are to play, but do know when something sounds wrong. If you stay in the pocket and stay tight with the drummer, you really will just blend in. Don't be over sensitive about this, just understand that you are to be invisible and always maintain the groove. Keep at it, do your best adn keep in mind that we also have the job of playing with egos more than musicians.

 

[Wolfenstein666]

Personally I'd go for it. Even if he is full of himself worst case scenario you tell him to eat it and walk out. Best case scenario you get some experience out in the field. I wouldn't stand for someone to outright insult me, and he did come off a little arrogant (IMO) but the thing about emails and text is that you can't tell what their voice inflection was. So it might sound that way to you but he might have meant it completely different.

I'd say saddle up and go check it out.

 

[Gravedigger Dav]

Don't be bothered by it. You'd be surprised how many musicians see bass as a necessary evil or at least, "well, it's not that important, but it has to be there."
I worked for a year with a guitar player who often said bass is easy, guitar is hard.