I play a lot of brew pubs. When I do, I like to sample their product. By sample, I mean one, maybe two if it’s a 4 hour gig. Your friend is not only impairing his musical performance, if he’s getting in a vehicle and driving home, he's endangering himself, but worse than that, he’s endangering others. If he’s lucky he’ll only get arrested. If he’s not, he could ruin some lives.
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Band members who drink
- Thread starter LawrenceKanter
- Start date
We're in NYC, so drunk driving is not an issue. It's a great town for functional alcoholics.
FullumMusic
Commercial User
- Oct 13, 2022
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- Audio/Music software developer, contracted with a company you've heard of and deving my own stuff.
Oh yeah, for sure. "Feeling it," anxiety, stage fright, self consciousness... i'm sure there's a bunch of reasons i'm not even thinking of. And to some extent it can be a non-issue. Half a gummy or a shot, or a pint... or even breathing exercises or doctor prescribed anxiety meds & beta blockers, or even a placebo is fine if it means they get up there and play well. It's kind of a crutch i wouldn't want to rely on. But if your leg is broken, you need a crutch to get around. {shrug}
But yeah, it's such a tightrope to walk, and it sucks as a bandmate relying on that person knowing if they don't have the exact right amount of alcohol/pot/cocaine/whatever, they're not gonna play well. Would rather have someone who plays well despite having a little intoxicant.Been there myself when i was young (in high school). Loved playing music regardless, but REALLY loved playing a bit high or drunk. There were quite a few times we just took a bunch of LSD and just jammed all day. (I wish i had recordings of that. I still wonder if it sounded anywhere near as good as we thought it did.)
I didn't need it to play, but i loved doing it. But my priorities back then were to have as much fun making music as possible.
Once i got into uni for music production, and pretty much ever since then, my priorities changed and i'd rather play well than play intoxicated, to the point where i don't enjoy playing with anything more than a couple pints in informal jam settings, and a pint or nothing at all if i need to play "for-real". I enjoy playing well more than playing drunk/high.
Thank you!
I try to be level-headed & non-judgmental. How often i pull it off is another story. But yeah, grazie!
I like drinking but for any gig, it just makes me slow, and prone to mistakes. Luckily, my bandmates over the years have not been heavy drinkers, meaning having one, max, at an intermission. Never drinking during a set.
I mean, it's one of two things.
1. Another band leader that refuses to adjust his self-centered behavior so you can confront him as a band or leave.
Or
2. You're letting perfect be the enemy of good. The audience responds well, the music is good enough for you to stay.
Hard to say which one!
My tolerance for sloppy drunks is low. I won't do it anymore. Drummer in my prog-fusion band from 2014-2017 was an absolute monster on the kit, had an amazing jam space, but his excessive drinking made it so unpredictable. After 3 years and various woe-is-me-have-another-drink-so-I-won't-have-to-actually-fix-my-life dramas I'd had it. We've jammed twice over the last year, but I'm just not interested in "smiling for the camera" as it were while he uses band practice as an excuse to have company over while getting blasted.
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if your friend is more committed to alcohol than music, you're not going to change that if they're not willing to...
Record and listen back as a band while sober…! Face the facts..
regards
Mark
regards
Mark
I've told the story before, but the first time I heard the playback of a recorded gig, where I thought I'd had a good night, stopped me from drinking anywhere near playing music. It wasn't horrendous, just worse than I'd imagined it to be. My playing was very sloppy.
It really was that simple. For me, anyway. Didn't stop me from drinking far too much 'socially, but it stopped me from making an (even bigger) arse of myself on stage.
It really was that simple. For me, anyway. Didn't stop me from drinking far too much 'socially, but it stopped me from making an (even bigger) arse of myself on stage.
They say Addiction is bad , what they don't teach you is self control . If you can't get under an Addiction you can truly never get under self control. I guess my point is don't be a quitter
Most bands I have been in drink - usually 2-3 at practice and gigs. It's been fine in almost every case, except the alcoholics. I've played in bands with two alcoholics, and in both cases it went sour in very negative ways. If it is impacting his behavior and your happiness, you need to address it (IMO). In one of the cases I mentioned, we moved rehearsals to a school (the drummer was a teacher there) where drinking was impossible. It didn't really help on gigs though, we have to give him tough love then eventually fire him. And he was an amazing singer/songwriter.
FWIW: "band members who drink" is different than "band members who are problem drinkers."
your thread is eliciting posts from some folks who don't get the difference.
Personally I’ve lost too many band mates, friends, family, and other great musicians I’ve had professional relationships with in the scene due to alcohol or drugs to not care and judge. I’ll still have a couple drinks personally, but refuse to play in bands where people aren’t able to control their drinking or use drugs (this includes pot heads). I’m there to play music and enjoy life. Not watch more people I’m close to be buried.
TL;DR you should be concerned with your vocalists drinking. But sadly, it’s not going to be a simple solution.
TL;DR you should be concerned with your vocalists drinking. But sadly, it’s not going to be a simple solution.
In my experience, alcoholics get this "stench" coming off of them. It's the booze, mixing with body chemicals and then, wafting out through the pores. It's not a matter of personal hygiene. It's about how much they are dependent upon the booze for their body to operate in a normal (for them) way.
Looks like there's not much you can do. If this was a professional project, he'd probably get fired by the leader, but this is a fun project, you're old friends, etc. I'd not tell him anything else especially because you already did.
I've quit bands & cut off my very best friend over booze. Sometimes it gets too out of hand and you gotta do what you gotta do. After playing bars for decades, I have become allergic to being around sloppy drunk people.
OTOH I continue working with others who can halfway function with it - and other vices - over the long haul. If my "zero tolerance" was absolute, that would close quite a few doors for me. It seems to be part of the package with many of the most brilliant players I've worked with.
IME there's not much I can do to affect another person's trajectory. I'm not a real huge fan of interventions - I've never seen one work yet and I would sure hate to get lured in & surrounded like that myself! But if you think there might be a chance of it working then it might be worth a shot. Or just say something one on one - at least you can say you did that.
My estranged bestie knows precisely why we don't hang, anymore. He continues to choose the sauce over the pleasure of my company. And everyone else's. And having a roof over his head. So be it... I can't make his choice for him.
OTOH I continue working with others who can halfway function with it - and other vices - over the long haul. If my "zero tolerance" was absolute, that would close quite a few doors for me. It seems to be part of the package with many of the most brilliant players I've worked with.
IME there's not much I can do to affect another person's trajectory. I'm not a real huge fan of interventions - I've never seen one work yet and I would sure hate to get lured in & surrounded like that myself! But if you think there might be a chance of it working then it might be worth a shot. Or just say something one on one - at least you can say you did that.
My estranged bestie knows precisely why we don't hang, anymore. He continues to choose the sauce over the pleasure of my company. And everyone else's. And having a roof over his head. So be it... I can't make his choice for him.
Been there myself when i was young (in high school). Loved playing music regardless, but REALLY loved playing a bit high or drunk. There were quite a few times we just took a bunch of LSD and just jammed all day. (I wish i had recordings of that. I still wonder if it sounded anywhere near as good as we thought it did.)
Sounds familiar, although I never tried tripping and performing. Plenty of beer and weed, though. In HS, I was only a vocalist, so it was fairly easy to keep it together, even at high levels of input. I DO have a recording somewhere of us doing our graduation party (free gig). To start, the rhythm guitar player didn't make it, as he'd just had his wisdom teeth out. We had rehearsed and prepared enough songs to play for quite some time. It actually sounds pretty good. I can tell from my between song banter that I was getting more and more drunk. Towards the end of the tape, we'd run through the whole set, but weren't disciplined enough to stop. Things devolved into a singalong of songs we didn't prepare... everyone was drunk at that point, so nobody cared.
Back to the discussion. If you do decide to confront your friend, be certain that he's sober when you do so. "OK Dad" is a classic drunk response.
Graduated 1981. The start of the let’s get drunk and find some cocaine era.
I entered my Locksmith Apprenticeship with a company who’s owner was a WW 2 fighter pilot.
He ran his business like the Airforce. He was not a hard ass at all but he expected discipline in his company.
Not an issue for me at all, I am named after my uncle who was a Chief Petty officer in the Canadian Navy in WW2.
As a result I watched friends/classmates drop like flies.
Being a devout “Tea Fanatic” I will not have alcohol around me. You drink, I am gone.
But my friends know if they need a safe ride home, just give me a call and do not worry about what time it is. They have and I do not have any more heart break.
I entered my Locksmith Apprenticeship with a company who’s owner was a WW 2 fighter pilot.
He ran his business like the Airforce. He was not a hard ass at all but he expected discipline in his company.
Not an issue for me at all, I am named after my uncle who was a Chief Petty officer in the Canadian Navy in WW2.
As a result I watched friends/classmates drop like flies.
Being a devout “Tea Fanatic” I will not have alcohol around me. You drink, I am gone.
But my friends know if they need a safe ride home, just give me a call and do not worry about what time it is. They have and I do not have any more heart break.
I think it sounds like this is not a touring band putting out records on a major label?
if this was paying your rent or something, then yes, by all means, do something about it.
if dude is getting wasted falling off the stage or something, then that is bad, but also a fun show to attend from audience perspective.
Do your part, have fun! if you are not having fun or getting paid,then maybe not a good band for you...
if this was paying your rent or something, then yes, by all means, do something about it.
if dude is getting wasted falling off the stage or something, then that is bad, but also a fun show to attend from audience perspective.
Do your part, have fun! if you are not having fun or getting paid,then maybe not a good band for you...
Six years sober here…. I recently quit the last band I was in and, amongst other extremely unsavory things, the amount one of the band members drank was one of the reasons. He was so hammered one night at a gig that he could barely play. We had to restart a tune multiple times until he could remember how it started. Absolutely embarrassing.
So, if you’re bandmate can maintain and play effectively, that’s a different story. Do what you gotta do.
So, if you’re bandmate can maintain and play effectively, that’s a different story. Do what you gotta do.
