You may be an "equal member" of the band when it comes to making decisions on what color Tshirt you will put out next, and what your cover art will look like on your next CD. But musically, you are in a support role. Sorry. It just is. Musically, the lead singer and any "lead" instruments "outrank" everybody else in the battle for frequency, volume, and melody.
If you were to stand in FRONT of or right beside the singer and lead guitarist plikity plaking away jumping around blocking the audience from interacting with them during the entire song, overshadowing what they are doing visually, and equally as "forward" in the FOH mix, your band would get nowhere fast. If this weren't true, you would be correct. But it is true, so you are not. You can't have it both ways.
Name me one band where the bass player (from a NON MUSICIAN'S standpoint) is an "equal member" of the band if he is not also the lead singer. Name one band that had/has a bass player (who ONLY plays bass) who is just as familiar to the fans as the lead singer/lead guitarist is. Everybody knows who Steven Tyler is and most know who Joe Perry is. How many know who Tom Hamilton is? You MUST look at it from a NON musician's standpoint because we don't buy enough of each other's albums to count for anything. What non musicians think is more important than what we think as far as "success or failure" of a band.
My two pennies. OK I get long winded. Maybe my four pennies.