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Bass Players VS Chicks!!!!!
- Thread starter Sonicfrog
- Start date
OK, perspective time.
I'm playing at the Gin Mill. I'm wireless, and I'm playing out in the audience. A lady is a bit too enthusiastic, and she is putting her hands all over my body; rubbing my shoulders, feeling my butt; I don't mind. This is OK. She is not allowed to kiss me, and she is not allowed to do what she tries next, which is grabbing my crotch. I use my bass as a shield, and effectively frustrate her from doing this, and after struggling for awhile, she decides she's had enough, and moves on to our very, very young guitar player.
I remind him between songs that she will gladly have sex with anyone of us, and if none of us are willing, some other stranger tonight. I point out that if she is willing to do this tonight, she was probably willing to do this last night. I feel like he takes my point, and he mostly avoids her.
She comes up to me between sets, and blasts me with drunkbreath, and says, "why didn't you tell me you were married to Krystal?" (I never tell anyone I'm married to Krystal, as she doesn't like me to. I might "ruin my appeal.")
Then she asks me if the drummer is married.
Later, when we are tearing down, I ask, "where is Arthur?" and then later, when I do see him, and I'm about to light into him for disappearing during tear down, he informs me, "remember that girl? I went out into the parking lot with her, and she pulled up my shirt, and BIT ME IN THE STOMACH."
When I was done laughing, I asked to see if she broke the skin, to see if we needed to visit the emergency room, and then I reminded him that it served him right.
DO NOT PICK UP WOMEN IN BARS, ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU ARE IN THE BAND!!!!!
And NEVER go out to the parking lot with them! They might not just be weird. The might be working with a partner.
Please be cynical, and remember all the horror movies you've seen.
Thank you.
I'm playing at the Gin Mill. I'm wireless, and I'm playing out in the audience. A lady is a bit too enthusiastic, and she is putting her hands all over my body; rubbing my shoulders, feeling my butt; I don't mind. This is OK. She is not allowed to kiss me, and she is not allowed to do what she tries next, which is grabbing my crotch. I use my bass as a shield, and effectively frustrate her from doing this, and after struggling for awhile, she decides she's had enough, and moves on to our very, very young guitar player.
I remind him between songs that she will gladly have sex with anyone of us, and if none of us are willing, some other stranger tonight. I point out that if she is willing to do this tonight, she was probably willing to do this last night. I feel like he takes my point, and he mostly avoids her.
She comes up to me between sets, and blasts me with drunkbreath, and says, "why didn't you tell me you were married to Krystal?" (I never tell anyone I'm married to Krystal, as she doesn't like me to. I might "ruin my appeal.")
Then she asks me if the drummer is married.
Later, when we are tearing down, I ask, "where is Arthur?" and then later, when I do see him, and I'm about to light into him for disappearing during tear down, he informs me, "remember that girl? I went out into the parking lot with her, and she pulled up my shirt, and BIT ME IN THE STOMACH."
When I was done laughing, I asked to see if she broke the skin, to see if we needed to visit the emergency room, and then I reminded him that it served him right.
DO NOT PICK UP WOMEN IN BARS, ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU ARE IN THE BAND!!!!!
And NEVER go out to the parking lot with them! They might not just be weird. The might be working with a partner.
Please be cynical, and remember all the horror movies you've seen.
Thank you.
Needless to say we all know what kind of chicks that Nirvana actually pulled.
As bad of news as any insane redhead you'd meet at a bar.
of course, if the ladies are literate, and you have that other kind of bass, and they read this:
[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]
"Next, ponder the shape of the bass. It's shaped like a woman. A bass player knows about bumps and curves - he even likes them. He has dedicated his life into coaxing beautiful music out of voluptuous contours. He'll do the same for you. Just don't marry a stick-bass player, unless you look like Kate Moss or intend to spend the rest of your life eating lettuce."
my girlfriend at time this was written smiled at that...
[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]
"Next, ponder the shape of the bass. It's shaped like a woman. A bass player knows about bumps and curves - he even likes them. He has dedicated his life into coaxing beautiful music out of voluptuous contours. He'll do the same for you. Just don't marry a stick-bass player, unless you look like Kate Moss or intend to spend the rest of your life eating lettuce."
my girlfriend at time this was written smiled at that...
