I think you need to start with grasping the idea of a key center and playing diatonically. Diatonic means the notes belong to the key center.
Let's use an easy key, C Major.
Here are the notes: C,D,E,F,G,A,B
If you start on C you play the C major scale: C,D,E,F,G,A,B...This is the same notes as Ionian mode.
If start on D you play Dorian mode: D,E,F,G,A,B,C
If you start on E you play Phrygian mode: E,F,G,A,B,C,D
If you start on F you play Lydian mode: F,G,A,B,C,D,E
If you start on G you play Mixolydian mode: G,A,B,C,D,E,F
If you start on A you play Aeolian mode: A,B,C,D,E,F,G...which is the same shape as A natural minor
If you start on B you play Locrian mode: B,C,D,E,F,G,A
All of the notes in all of these modes are diatonic to C major.
A minor is the relative minor to C major, which means it shares the same notes and key signature as C major.
Minor comes in three forms: 1. Natural, 2. Harmonic, 3. Melodic.
A natural minor has the same notes as C major: A,B,C,D,E,F,G
In Harmonic minor the 7th scale degree is raised a half step: A,B,C,D,E,F,G#
In Melodic minor the 6th and 7th are raised a half step: A,B,C,D,E,F#,G#
The classical form of the Melodic scales raises the 6th and 7th ascending, but not when descending:
Going up: A,B,C,D,E,F#,G#
Going down: G,F,E,D,C,B,A
The jazz form does not lower the notes when descending
Going up: A,B,C,D,E,F#,G#
Going down: G#,F#,E,D,C,B,A
We consider F,F#,G,G# diatonic to A minor. However, F# and G# are not diatonic to the relative major, C Major.
You can also derive modes from the harmonic and jazz melodic minor scales...but you are not ready for that. It's something I never really mastered and memorized.
The first step is to learn how to define the intervals 1,2,3,4,5,6,7 as minor, major, perfect, augmented, and diminished. These are defined by the number of half steps and whole step between two notes.
After that you learn how to build the major and minor scales and start learning your key signatures.
Here are the shapes:
Major
1. perfect
2. major
3. major
4. perfect
5. perfect
6. major
7. major
Natural Minor
1. perfect
2. major
3. minor
4. perfect
5. perfect
6. minor
7. minor
Harmonic Minor
1. perfect
2. major
3. minor
4. perfect
5. perfect
6. minor
7. major
Jazz Melodic Minor
1. perfect
2. major
3. minor
4. perfect
5. perfect
6. major
7. major
After you learn the keys and how to play diatonically, you can start learning to break the rules.