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Best pickup lines from groupies.
- Thread starter Eminentbass
- Start date
After our first set, I was walking off stage, headed back for a beer. As I passed a table I hear "MMM MMM MMM." I kept walking trying to play hard to get, got my beer & turned around. She was 60 if she was a day old, drinking draft beer on a senior discount card, EPIC let down. On my way back to the stage, she grabbed my arm & proceeded to tell me how she could "tear me up in the bed room," thats when I noticed a semi-toothless grin.
I promptly said excuse me, walked up on stage, & told our 50 year old guitar player she wanted to talk to him
I promptly said excuse me, walked up on stage, & told our 50 year old guitar player she wanted to talk to him
After our first set, I was walking off stage, headed back for a beer. As I passed a table I hear "MMM MMM MMM." I kept walking trying to play hard to get, got my beer & turned around. She was 60 if she was a day old, drinking draft beer on a senior discount card, EPIC let down. On my way back to the stage, she grabbed my arm & proceeded to tell me how she could "tear me up in the bed room," thats when I noticed a semi-toothless grin.
I promptly said excuse me, walked up on stage, & told our 50 year old guitar player she wanted to talk to him
Gaaaahhhh!! Worst nightmare worst nightmare!
We were playing a backwoods honkey tonk many hours from home, mostly chicks dancing, but a couple of older ladies getting their groove on as well. A couple of them thought it would be a good idea to get up on stage with us. Not really, the stage at this place is at least four feet off the ground, no railings whatsoever. The oldest lady (mid 60's?) started hunching me from behind while I was playing. Her hands were wandering all over my backside and when her hands started around the front, I stopped playing and escorted both women carefully off the stage citing insurance regulations. Oh, the worst part during the hunching was her whispering in my ear "Doesn't that look like fun?" referencing what was possibly her granddaughter and some guy making out on the dance floor.
One day I'll be old enough to play grab a granny, but not yet.
One day I'll be old enough to play grab a granny, but not yet.
lol. The last outdoor gig I played was a benefit show for earth day. For the entire i afternoon i was like "wow that chick has a great body"... and then she'd turn around, I'd see the braces, and quickly realize she was 13. It turned out that a lot of the volunteers in the audience were from a local middle school. To make that even more awkward, I'm baby faced for 21 and I got "the eyes" from several girls in the crowd.
- Dec 21, 2007
- 15,222
- 45,001
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- Lark in the Morning Instructional Videos; Audix Microphones
Not as classic as some of these, but back in the day (when I was single)...
An attractive young woman, who came to shows regularly with her boyfriend, came without him one evening, and said to me "I'm not going to go home with you". She told me that several times throughout the night, including while she followed me out to my car to go home with me...
An attractive young woman, who came to shows regularly with her boyfriend, came without him one evening, and said to me "I'm not going to go home with you". She told me that several times throughout the night, including while she followed me out to my car to go home with me...
After our first set, I was walking off stage, headed back for a beer. As I passed a table I hear "MMM MMM MMM." I kept walking trying to play hard to get, got my beer & turned around. She was 60 if she was a day old, drinking draft beer on a senior discount card, EPIC let down. On my way back to the stage, she grabbed my arm & proceeded to tell me how she could "tear me up in the bed room," thats when I noticed a semi-toothless grin.
I promptly said excuse me, walked up on stage, & told our 50 year old guitar player she wanted to talk to him
Heck, seventy ain't old if she's wearin' something TIGHT!
(Better keep it on, though - hold everything in place.)
One night I thought I was getting a song request from a beautiful young lady while we played a frat party. She leaned in/on to me and said "When's the last time you had your goose gobbled?" I sputtered and was trying to come up with something brilliantly witty to say just as she leaned back from me and started to "perform" on her beer bottle. I'm not entirely certain, but I may have peed myself a little just then. I can't confirm that, but I wouldn't deny it either.
The hood of my car was never the same after that night.
Just ask the group of frat boys that witnessed the events from the balcony they were on. We got a standing ovation!
Now I am old, married, and decidedly un-cool. That type of thing doesn't happen to me anymore. It's probably for the best, my bodily functions were wildly unpredictable even back then. Now, I would need "Depends" for sure!
The hood of my car was never the same after that night.
Just ask the group of frat boys that witnessed the events from the balcony they were on. We got a standing ovation!Now I am old, married, and decidedly un-cool. That type of thing doesn't happen to me anymore. It's probably for the best, my bodily functions were wildly unpredictable even back then. Now, I would need "Depends" for sure!
One night I thought I was getting a song request from a beautiful young lady while we played a frat party. She leaned in/on to me and said "When's the last time you had your goose gobbled?" I sputtered and was trying to come up with something brilliantly witty to say just as she leaned back from me and started to "perform" on her beer bottle. I'm not entirely certain, but I may have peed myself a little just then. I can't confirm that, but I wouldn't deny it either.
The hood of my car was never the same after that night.
Now I am old, married, and decidedly un-cool. That type of thing doesn't happen to me anymore. It's probably for the best, my bodily functions were wildly unpredictable even back then. Now, I would need "Depends" for sure!
I am both disgusted and aroused........................
About six months ago, while loading up, a woman who was really hitting on our lead singer asked me why my equipment was so much larger than everyone else's equipment. I replied with, "It makes up for my small penis." Hey... I'm married, and I don't need or want the temptation.
When I was younger and single, I once had a cutie say, "I like how your guitar is so much bigger than the other guys'." I was dating another young lady and didn't take the opportunity.
When I was younger and single, I once had a cutie say, "I like how your guitar is so much bigger than the other guys'." I was dating another young lady and didn't take the opportunity.
I used to play in a glam/trash/sleaze band and used to wear quite a lot of thin metal bangles etc...
This cougar came up to me at halftime and started making a show of counting all my bangles...
she got up to 70 and said..
"If i take one away, you can have 69....."
which was nice...
This cougar came up to me at halftime and started making a show of counting all my bangles...
she got up to 70 and said..
"If i take one away, you can have 69....."
which was nice...
