Our deal is any money I make from gigging is mine to do with as I please. If it involves joint resources, we talk and get approval. Mrs. Ostie is an artist and we both understand that it costs money to pursue our muses. I don’t remember her vetoing any reasonable request for joint funds. In fact she bought me my first Jazz bass. Neither of us are extravagant spenders. We don’t fight over money. We discuss and decide together on large expenditures.
Enjoy the benefits of a premium membership!
Upgrade Account
-
TalkBass has been independent since 1998. Add your voice.
Create a free account to reply to discussions, view embedded media, and browse with fewer display ads.
Join free Log in
Want zero display ads or expanded classifieds tools? Compare plans.
Black op money
- Thread starter Oldfartguy
- Start date
Jazzdogg
Less barking, more wagging!
At my age, I remember that he who tells no lies has nothing to remember. Besides, I not only adore my wife, we're partners in the truest sense of the word.
No one will admit. Everyone is debt free in rock solid marriages with generous pensions and lucrative gig incomes. This is a gear site IMO and the circumstances of how you get gear is none of my business.
Last edited:
For me, it's not deceiving; it's a very healthy way to keep my independence. Nothing wrong, and I hate asking for permission or even answering questions regarding the new toy in the garage, or at the studio...A friend of mine has to hide it too. His wife will make a big deal of spending a couple hundred on music gear even if it’s a great deal. Worst part is they are loaded $
^^This. She buys her art supplies and takes classes; I buy my bass stuff and take lessons. Neither of us goes nuts, and we let each other know what we’re spending.
Do you need a hug?
OP literally asked the question, people just saying what they do, don’t do, and why.
Contribute or do not, but this is called… Talkbass. For talking about all things bass, gigs, bass life, bass music…
I would never. If you don't have trust and honesty as a foundation, you have nothing.
Thankfully Mrs. Evil is often standing behind me while I'm on Sweetwater/Reverb saying "Buy it!"
Thankfully Mrs. Evil is often standing behind me while I'm on Sweetwater/Reverb saying "Buy it!"
We both have incomes and here is how we manage descretionary spending.
We established a household budget that covers all normal living expenses, house payment, utilities, car, groceries, insurnace and all that other money we have to waste. We each contribute half of that to a joint account. What is left over, is ours to spend as we please.
It wouldn't matter, because she is a GAS enabler.
We established a household budget that covers all normal living expenses, house payment, utilities, car, groceries, insurnace and all that other money we have to waste. We each contribute half of that to a joint account. What is left over, is ours to spend as we please.
It wouldn't matter, because she is a GAS enabler.
Sounds like a relationship based on old Honeymooner's episodes. No thanks.
I do have friends who keep their purchases on the downlow. They’re in good relationships but understand the realities of managing their particular circumstances to maintain happiness. Not everyone has the luxury of being completely open about spending on gear without triggering anxiety in their partner. Money is a weird beast, and affects different people in different ways. It is what it is. No judgement.
Living up to your screen name, huh?
As for the “issue” here, for me, that would be a definite no. As long as bills are paid, no problemo, no need to sneak around, and actually, I’ve purchased a big chunk of her gear.
Gear buys are always above board. I/we don't do under the table self-dealing. To me, getting busted would be a good way to forfeit the trust of a spouse/significant other. Just my two cents; I'm not Dr. Phil.
- Apr 1, 2000
- 17,409
- 9,867
- Disclosures
- Endorsing Artist: Roscoe Guitars, DR Strings, Aguilar Amplification
The amount of guys here in genuinely healthy relationships (I count myself among you) is truly making me happy. Way to go, fellas!
+1 @Pacman. But bass players generally ARE the coolest people in the band after all, right?!
lolLike others have said, I also don't hide stuff from my wife. Not the way I want to live a relationship.
Our day jobs allow us to cover all the normal everyday bills and expenses, and my gig money remains a separate fund that pays for music stuff. I might get an occasional "do you really need another [gear]?" eye roll sometimes
, but along with mutual trust and communication, there are several factors why this is "approved."- I'm pretty judicious with my purchases and don't rack up big credit card bills or put us in financial distress.
- In addition to music gear, gig money has paid for upgrades/repairs around the house, auto repairs, and a couple emergency family expenses without question.
- Music related purchases are a tax write-off for me due to the way my band is set up, and she has seen the difference those write-offs can make when we file taxes. (We had to pay in for 2024 after I entered the 1099 for my band, because music expenses were a good bit less than previous years. Actual words from her mouth: "I think you need to buy more music stuff."
lol)5sg.
Last edited:
I married my dear wife 35 years ago. I would do it again in a heartbeat. Keeping significant secrets from each other would have ended it long ago. Without trust, any relationship is destined to fail, often disastrously.
If you need to "hide" money from your spouse, you shouldn't be married IMHO.
MDBass
Supporting Member
- Nov 7, 2012
- 8,590
- 14,892
- Disclosures
- Endorsing Artist: Dingwall-Fender-Bergantino-Dunlop-Tech 21-Darkglass-Nordstrand
These two replies really say it all.
Statistically, being dishonest about finances with your spouse almost guarantees that you’ll end up divorced.
