Do I have a running stash of cash to buy gear - sure. My wife knows it exists but she doesn’t always know what’s in it. And a lot of my gear purchases come from the sale of other gear so it’s primarily $ from sales that go into new purchases.
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Black op money
- Thread starter Oldfartguy
- Start date
buldog5151bass
Kibble, milkbones, and P Basses. And redheads.
How passed off would you be if your SO did the same? If I need something expensive, I discuss it with my wife. That called being an adult in a committed relationship.
Small purchases, we each trust the other.
Small purchases, we each trust the other.
Full transparency w/ my bride of 39 years. We work as a team, always have. Besides, my wife's career made my 39 years on stage possible.
My music $$ is mine to spend on however I decide. Some of which is spent on her.
My music $$ is mine to spend on however I decide. Some of which is spent on her.
That there is the first crack in the dam. Might not lead quickly to catastrophic failure sweeping away the town below, but might.
But the little Dutch kid with his finger in the crack will eventually get tired. (ok it's a hole in the dyke, same difference)
But the little Dutch kid with his finger in the crack will eventually get tired. (ok it's a hole in the dyke, same difference)
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My wife does not curtail my purchases , and I do not curtail hers. It’s the only way to go.
Many moons ago I used to do a lot of gear flipping and built up a good chunk of cash in PayPal from the profits.
My wife knows about It. I’ve managed to maintain most of the balance in there as I cycle through gear. If I want something I get it, no awkward conversations or permission required. It’s a good system IMO. We don’t pay the mortgage from the gear fund and I don’t buy gear with household funds. Everybody’s happy.
It does occur to me that she uses household funds for her vicious gardening habit. I'm gonna make her set up a vegetable stand in the driveway to fund that from now on.
My wife knows about It. I’ve managed to maintain most of the balance in there as I cycle through gear. If I want something I get it, no awkward conversations or permission required. It’s a good system IMO. We don’t pay the mortgage from the gear fund and I don’t buy gear with household funds. Everybody’s happy.
It does occur to me that she uses household funds for her vicious gardening habit. I'm gonna make her set up a vegetable stand in the driveway to fund that from now on.
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I do have such a stash, but it's neither hidden nor secret.
Some of the gig money goes in there, plus all the money from gear sales.
Some of the gig money goes in there, plus all the money from gear sales.
My wife and I agreed that all my gig money was mine to do as I wish and all of my buying and selling goes in or out of this "account". My gas is at an all-time low now, so I have a fair reserve on tap.
With our incomes and not too extravagant lifestyle, money is not tight. If it were, all those buckets of gig money would go into the household account and I'd just make do gear-wise.
People handle this different ways and if it works fine, but having to hide money from a spouse is sad.
With our incomes and not too extravagant lifestyle, money is not tight. If it were, all those buckets of gig money would go into the household account and I'd just make do gear-wise.
People handle this different ways and if it works fine, but having to hide money from a spouse is sad.
As long as I have enough money to pay for any frivolous crap my wife needs she doesn't mind what I buy. If she b*tches I just tell her to go make me a sandwich (just kidding 
).
I pay for the mortgage, the (3) kids' summer camp and sports, and any major household repairs/items. Plus, I do enjoy being able to give my wife whatever she wants (within REASON
) because she's my wife and I love her!
As long as these needs are taken care, then if I want a new pedal or a couple sets of strings, I'll just buy them. If I want a "big ticket" item like a bass, amp, or cabinet, I'll tell my wife first. But I've always saved up for those things I never dip into the family/wife funds for music stuff.
That being said; best practices dictate that you track your deliveries and retrieve your packages from the front porch or mailbox before your wife sees them.
).I pay for the mortgage, the (3) kids' summer camp and sports, and any major household repairs/items. Plus, I do enjoy being able to give my wife whatever she wants (within REASON
) because she's my wife and I love her! As long as these needs are taken care, then if I want a new pedal or a couple sets of strings, I'll just buy them. If I want a "big ticket" item like a bass, amp, or cabinet, I'll tell my wife first. But I've always saved up for those things I never dip into the family/wife funds for music stuff.
That being said; best practices dictate that you track your deliveries and retrieve your packages from the front porch or mailbox before your wife sees them.
I do love the fact that in any thread about spousal conflicts, whether in jest or not, TB shows up and generally drops the truth about what an actual adult relationship looks like.
Everyone with clean hands posting, everyone else lurking… 
It's a covert operation that rivals "Area 51"...everybody knows it exists but not quite sure as to how deep the rabbit hole goes. To be fair, you should see the stuff my wife buys via Etsy. Although retired, I'm still working as the workplace acts as destination dumping-ground for my purchases.
Riis
Riis
Both of us have separate spending accounts that we add to every month.
No phone, no pool, no pets. I ain’t got no cigarettes.
No hiding things. But we don't have debt and make good money, so no guilt about purchases. I imagine some people are in different situations and might not always disclose purchases.
This is very similar to my situation. I love gear but I’m not a collector so if something isn’t being used it gets sold and the funds are used for something else. I also usually have savings from gigs and my Discogs store to use towards stuff that I want.
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Smooth_bass88
vaxx!
- Oct 31, 2006
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nah, my partner gets it. doesn't care if I own many basses. actually encourages it. heck, she's the one that told me to buy my 1962 Fender Jazz Bass. did I mention she's a musician and singer and that we play together sometimes?
I can neither confirm nor deny a hidden craiglist gear cash stash. That and an extra empty bass case that could potentially house such a purchase. Or not.
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