Black op money

[Christophe C]

short answer : no

And women are more clever than men your wife knows everything

 

[Ignatius]

Came here to say this. My ex spent every cent that she could get her hands on, charged every card up to its limits, etc. When I divorced the piece of trash, she tried to make me sell all of my basses out of spite. Good riddance. Oh, and I remarried to a wonderful woman and wouldn't dream of keeping anything from her (she encourages me to buy stuff!!).

If my ex had a sister we may have been in laws.

Mine even got pissy about buying music gear for the kids. When my son wanted to move up from his squier bronco to a full size bass she said I had to sell/trade one of my instruments or amps for it. We were not hurting for money.

I traded a Marshall combo for a p/j for my son. The ex is long gone but the bass still making people happy.

I also remarried to a fantastic woman who encourages me to buy instruments.

 

[Snibborwocky]

my "black op money" comes in the multi-payment forms of paypal, klarna, & affirm.

 

[fig]

No hidden money. Anything over about 200 bucks, we call a 'big ticket item'. Discretionary stuff over that approximate amount gets discussed. Especially important, since the future now has a few economic unknowns for most of us.

First wife was just the opposite, a spending machine. To paraphrase Joni Mitchell, "A beauty parlor blond with credit card eyes.".

No phone, no pool, no pets. I ain’t got no cigarettes.

Nice random, unexpected, out-of-nowhere reference. Caught me off guard and I loved it

And just because the bass starts the song, and is just a fun song to play, here's Roger Miller's "King of the Road". I couldn't resist posting it LOL

 

[allanhearn]

Are the bills paid and the kids fed?
Honest conversation is best.

 

[Geepers]

…the iron skillet deterrence

Best comment so far!

 

[jimmydean]

What I do with my music account is of no concern to wife or IRS .

 

[FretRiff]

Na I'm horrible at keeping secrets. I can't even keep gifts a secret. lol

A friend calls it, “working in the Gossip Department.”

 

[D.A.R.K.]

A few years ago I was at the bank with my wife sorting what to do with some IRA's and the teller started talking about the other bank account and I had no idea what they were talking about. Turns out my wife had been black op'ing into a fund for buying a house one day (probably started as an escape fund lol). It had a very substantial amount of money in it, I was a bit taken aback but also stoked. I have always just dumped everything I make into our joint account. I do have a gear account, which is separated, but that's just because I want our accounts for on line activity separate from any substantial holdings. Anyway, I always tell her what I want to get and she always supports me, so no need to hide anything. I just think it's funny I was the one who got punk'd, even though my name is on the "secret" account.

 

[Miles_ONeal]

yeah, I'm in the "never would do that" club. Never had to even consider it. My wife as always been cool with me buying gear. Of course, I never spent the mortgage money on gear either, so I guess it has all worked out.

Any time my wife has said no, there’s been a good reason. She manages the bank accounts so she knows.
Mutual love and respect are key for us.

 

[Miles_ONeal]

No phone, no pool, no pets. I ain’t got no cigarettes.

OP needs to rent a trailer.

 

[Miles_ONeal]

I would never. If you don't have trust and honesty as a foundation, you have nothing.
Thankfully Mrs. Evil is often standing behind me while I'm on Sweetwater/Reverb saying "Buy it!"

When I’ve showed my wife cool basses available online that I really like, her response has been, “Why haven’t you bought it?” Years ago that wasn’t the case but money was tighter.

 

[Miles_ONeal]

Conclusion of this exrcise... some guys here are extremely judgmental... a simple yes or not was enough. Instead, some advise me I shoult not be married, other think I'm a cheater and so on... seems like the difference between a simple answer and a complete lecture over other people life is very, really thin here... a sign of the times for sure.

First off, you asked more than a yes or no question.
Secondly, how often do yes or no questions on TB get only yes or no answers?
Thirdly, your scenario makes it clear you are misleading her. Do you not consider that dishonest? If not, what is it? Genuinely curious.

 

[Miles_ONeal]

First off, you asked more than a yes or no question.
Secondly, how often do yes or no questions on TB get only yes or no answers?
Thirdly, your scenario makes it clear you are misleading her. Do you not consider that dishonest? If not, what is it? Genuinely curious.

Also, I don’t know your situation, so I’m not judging. But if you have to keep such things a secret, it does suggest problems to me.

 

[MultiScaleMale]

She has her hobbies, I have mine. My gear just has some resale value. Sitting at a baseball game now looking at a Dingwall in the classifieds. Showed it to her and she would be fine if I purchased. But yeah, we don’t hide stuff from each other. Early on she said we could have an open relationship and both have boyfriends. I didn’t agree to that one. Heh.

 

[Lo-E]

My wife has a degree in, and has worked in for 35 years, finance. As such, she handles all our finances - and for good reason. If it were left up to me we’d have a lot of cool stuff but we’d default on our mortgage.

I have a “play money” account that’s funded by gig money, money I get from doing instrument or amp repairs and/or the sale of gear I already own.
If I want to purchase something music-related from our general fund rather than my play money account I discuss it with her first. I would never hide money or purchases from her. That’s a recipe for disaster.

 

[MultiScaleMale]

Conclusion of this exrcise... some guys here are extremely judgmental... a simple yes or not was enough. Instead, some advise me I shoult not be married, other think I'm a cheater and so on... seems like the difference between a simple answer and a complete lecture over other people life is very, really thin here... a sign of the times for sure.

Don’t ask a question and not expect answers. Do I think it’s weird to hide things from my spouse? Yes. But I’m in my marriage, you’re in yours. Do what works for you.

 

[wompwomp]

my old lady is the devil. she's constantly encouraging me to buy instruments and play them.

my suspicion is she gets off on being married to a bassist

 

[Pep]

Those who have a significant other or are married... did you keep a secret money stash for GAS time? I called "black op money" and slept inside an old socket, far away from the wife's eyes. The problem is intercepting the goodies just before being accountable, like "another toy at home" and being summoned long and hard.
So... how your guys doing? secret stash? hide bank account of simply, "I spend my money on the way I want it"

My GAS ended this week with the acquisition of a new Dingwall NG3. My “significant other” and I have separate accounts and money. We each have certain bills we’re responsible for. She buys what she wants and so do I but I get criticized for buying a new bass because I have 19.
I told her about the new Dingwall last night. There was nothing said other than, “Are you going to show it to me?”
She thought it was beautiful! WOW! She IS a keeper!

Well they’re both keepers!

 

[Pep]

First off, you asked more than a yes or no question.
Secondly, how often do yes or no questions on TB get only yes or no answers?
Thirdly, your scenario makes it clear you are misleading her. Do you not consider that dishonest? If not, what is it? Genuinely

First off, you asked more than a yes or no question.
Secondly, how often do yes or no questions on TB get only yes or no answers?
Thirdly, your scenario makes it clear you are misleading her. Do you not consider that dishonest? If not, what is it? Genuinely curious.

Questioning someone’s morals is definitely over-the-line.