Sorry, that's life. It's not antagonistic but no one comes out to hear the soundman. He is an essential and valuable member of the crew and should be respected as such, no argument. But his function is to serve the needs of the performers, period. That's the only reason he is there.
I think we need to be a little bit more accurate here...
The sound guy serves the needs of the performance and the audience, just like the band serves the needs of the preformance and the audience. Everybody is part of the performance, it's not just the band, just like it's not just the sound guy or the light guy or the pyro guy, or the video guy, or the promoter, etc. If you (really) think otherwise, you are missing the big picture, at least in the touring world. We are there to support you, not to take abuse or insults from you, or to be crippled by decisions that effectively set you up to fail.
His function is to take what the band gives him, work with the band to get the best he can to do his job well, and generate the best mix possible within the constraints of the band, stage, acoustics, audience, music style, volume, sightlines etc. If somebody in the band does not give him what he needs to work with, they will suffer in the mix no matter how much you might wish otherwise. You do not know how it sounds in the house, nor are you impartial. Most bass players, just like most of every other band member would like to hear more of me, and focus only on themselves. It's human nature. The sound guy's job is to be impartial as nest as he can to his personal tastes and generate a well balanced, consistent mix night after night.
I walked away from what appeared on the surface to be a great full time gig because the administration of the performing arts center were control freak micro-managers. They tried to dictate things being done their way without having the slightest idea what any of it ment. They read the sexy magazines and dressed the part, one of the administrators even carried an Anvil briefcase for a while. It's one thing to look the part and play pretend, it's another thing to walk the walk night after night, year after year. Everybody there was essentially set up to fail, and fail they did. The smart ones jumped ship at the earliest opportunity, but those who stayed for the most part got so totally screwed that it was often referred to as the "scapegoat theatre". There is only one person left after 6 or 7 years, out of maybe 20 people, and these were career track, full time permanent jobs with full benefits. Even the guys at the top getting the biggest bucks jumped ship. It's like a revolving door, nobody staying for more than a year. Who would want to work in that environment no matter how good the pay was?