• TalkBass has been independent since 1998. Add your voice.
    Create a free account to reply to discussions, view embedded media, and browse with fewer display ads.
    Join free Log in
    Want zero display ads or expanded classifieds tools? Compare plans.

Did this dad overreact??

#82
mike_v_s said:
Now, where's that picture of the Internet "psuedo-intellectual, now-that-I-have-all-the-facts-I-know-exactly-how-I-would-have-handled-this, passive-aggressive" Guy? I can't seem to find it. I mean, I can find plenty of examples, but the actual photo itself eludes me.

Mike
Click to expand...

:)

Yeah, anyone that has met me knows I'm not wilting flower, and I can back up what I said without much trouble - and would.

I was talking with my wife last night about this, and her response (and if you've met her, you know she is the single most peaceful person you'll ever meet) was that if I didn't waylay the guy, she'd kick my @$$.

Don't mess with my kids. :)
 
#83
Pacman said:
You have my sympathies, my friend.
Click to expand...

Thanks, brother. And to add insult to injury, part of the problem is that my wife is not on the same page as me, adding more fuel to the fire. She thinks that my daughter should be free to come and go as she pleases, with no guidelines/boundaries. I say, as long as she lives under my roof, she needs to follow some basic guidelines - and make small, basic contributions to the household.
[Like helping with a chore or two, since she is drawing free, unlimited, meals, lodging, and laundry service.]
[By the way, this is a large, complex household, with many people living under this roof, and teamwork is essential.]

My wife doesn't agree, and thinks I'm out of my mind.
Suffice to say, it's not bringing us closer together.
 
#85
bassybill said:
We're definitely way overdue for this pic here...

Link Removed
Click to expand...

I dunno, get between a mama bear and her cub and there are problems. Piss off an angry father with guns......not a good idea.


From a psychological perspective, I have 2 theories about people who get caught. 1. They're not very smart and/or lack ninja stealth. 2. They want to get caught.

Call me crazy, but some people enjoy soap opera drama.
 
#86
The ITG magazine thing wasn't so much a comment on the thread topic; it was just an observation that whenever people state "I'd kick his ass" or whatever on the internet, they don't seem to consider the fact that getting their own ass kicked is also a possibility.

Anyway, on topic - imagine being in the scenario under discussion. You're the father, and you open the door to your teenage daughter's room to find her there with a naked guy, about the same age. There's at least two possibilities here. He's her boyfriend and has been invited/allowed into the house by her, or he's an intruder who's taken all his clothes off and then attacked your daughter, who has been unable to alert you for whatever reason. So either he's there with her consent and encouragement, or entirely without it.

Do you think you'd be able to tell what the situation was as soon as you walked in? And do you think the father in the case here was aware or unaware of which category the boy he attacked was in? Genuine questions.

There seems to be an assumption in this thread from some that the boy was some sort of threat to the daughter's safety. But to me, it just sounds like kids doing what kids do, even if it's too early for that in the eyes of the parent. Did this guy think he was protecting his daughter's safety when he beat on the lad? Or was he motivated by something else?

As I said, genuine questions and I'll be interested in your opinions.
 
#88
Honestly, if there is a naked guy in the house that I do not know about, he is an intruder. I think that is why the guy reacted the way he did.

Naked guy in daughter's room? I love how people say "oh, I'd do this if that happened." Fact is, you do not know what you'd do until the time came, until the instant where you hear a noise and see some naked guy standing over your daughter's bed in the dark. Now, true, some people are faster thinking than others, but when you do not know who it is makes the situation more gut wrenching. I've been in the place of the Dirty, Daughter-defiling machine in the eyes of dad's (and other male family and nonfamily-family), and thus know what the pressure is like when you're meeting them (and they're sizing up what sort of shotgun would most effectively spread you thin-but-wide). If the kid didn't have the balls to say "uhh, shouldn't i meet your parents or something", and yet he still sneaks into the house, he deserves whatever he gets.
 
#89
I think you guys have taken the *naked intruder in the house* theme too far. This was a boy that the father recognized as a boyfriend of the daughter. This was not a man filling a loot bag with money and jewelry from the house. This was a boyfriend who got caught with all his clothes off in the girl's room.

The pipe and bat response is extreme to say the least.

So, have you guys planned how you're going to use your one phone call after you are arrested and booked? ;)
 
#90
as the father of a daughter, this kid got off easy. I am teaching my daughter age-appropriate facts about sex, and the consequences of such. I have a very good relationship with my daughter - then again, she's only 9. Frankly, you'd have a helluva hard time finding any teenage girl who has an "open" relationship with her father. If you find one, I'm guessing daddy is a hippie type who doesn't really have any rules and has never had any discipline.

This is not about teenage kids having sex. This is about a husband and father waking up at 4 AM to find a naked man in his house. A naked man that he does not know, and does not know anything about. I have a simple rule for using my gun in my house. Come in the living room, steal my television, go to the studio room and steal my computer, studio equipment, my basses, etc... and you'll walk out the house and I will call the police and then file an insurance claim. Start coming towards the back bedrooms where my wife, daughter and I sleep and you won't see tomorrow. period. this was a home invader that the father beat to get out of the house. he's lucky it wasn't my house.
 
#91
SBassman said:
I think you guys have taken the *naked intruder in the house* theme too far. This was a boy that the father recognized as a boyfriend of the daughter. This was not a man filling a loot bag with money and jewelry from the house. This was a boyfriend who got caught with all his clothes off in the girl's room.

The pipe and bat response is extreme to say the least.

So, have you guys planned how you're going to use your one phone call after you are arrested and booked? ;)
Click to expand...

Authorities say the father, 45, didn't even know his daughter had a boyfriend or that the youngster had been sneaking into the home for more than a year.
Click to expand...

Primary Source much?
 
#93
Ok, reading the text again, it's not clear. I'm not conceding that the father did not recognize the situation, but, yup, the text is unclear.

Yeah, the text says he didn't know the girl had a boyfriend or that the boyfriend had been sneaking in for a year. But, did he realize that when he walked in? Was she there, too? What were the so-called noises? Noises from - sex between the girl and the boy?

If he walked in on Them, not just the boy, would you then not expect the father to figure out that this was a friend of the girl's,
not a dangerous intruder?
 
#95
SBassman said:
Ok, reading the text again, it's not clear. I'm not conceding that the father did not recognize the situation, but, yup, the text is unclear.

Yeah, the text says he didn't know the girl had a boyfriend or that the boyfriend had been sneaking in for a year. But, did he realize that when he walked in? Was she there, too? What were the so-called noises? Noises from - sex between the girl and the boy?

If he walked in on Them, not just the boy, would you then not expect the father to figure out that this was a friend of the girl's,
not a dangerous intruder?
Click to expand...

If you saw someone who you DID NOT KNOW WHO THE HELL IT WAS bare-ass naked standing on your wife's bed, would you assume "oh, it's a friend of my wife's?". Different situation, same context. The father DID NOT know WHO the boy was.

Jeez, i'm getting pissed at someone on the Internet. The last time that happened, I was only 15 and didn't know any better.


Bad Brains said:
Irrevelant.

A random naked male inside someones elses home is reason enough for a beat down.
Click to expand...

+1,000,000
 
#96
I'm curious. How often does it happen that 15-year olds (or thereabouts) get into peoples houses at night and undress to violate any of the inhabitants? Often enough that you need a plan for how to handle the situation? So often that it's a more likely conclusion than that your daughter/son/wife/husband/partner is partaking in covert actions?

Insofar as I can see all of the participants were in the wrong. But only the dad is old enough to have a fully developed ability to make informed judgements. Clearly he failed.

It's the individuals right to protect himself and his family (or herself and her family) to the extent necessary. Protection ends when the threat is averted. It is the obligation of every citizen to let society in the form of courts and authorities handle judgement and punishment. These are some of the basic tenets of a modern, civilized society.

A naked boy isn't likely to hold a gun or other dangerous weapons. Bringing a pipe when you hear strange noises at night in your daughters room is reasonable. Swinging a pipe in the situation at hand is indicative of an avengeful state of mind.

And yes, I have a boy of 9 and a daughter of 8. They'll mess up their lives I'm sure, but I trust myself and my wife to teach them to straighten up eventually.

As for the SUV part... My first reaction when loading in kids in the car is to drive carefully and slowly, keeping my distance. I haven't broken the speed limits knowingly since I had children. The people around me on the roads probably hate me, but that's a price I'm willing to pay. And it keeps my stress levels way down.
 
#99
JacoLesFlea said:
If it gave the age of his daughter and her boyfriend it might be easier for me to answer my own question. For all I know she could be 13 and the boy 18. IF he was though I am sure that would have been in the story. IF i caught a stranger in my daughters bedroom I dont think I would do something that drastic.

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]
Click to expand...

I think he underreacted.
 
#100
Bad Brains said:
A naked stranger you find standing in YOUR house isn't a right to hurt someone?

If I opened a door in my house and saw some random naked dude standing there, I would have bashed his face in with the pipe.
Click to expand...
Cool. Now put yourself into the position of the young man who snuck in for a little bit of fun. . .remember when you were a kid and being bad felt good? They're kids dammit, even more so in a country where an adult is defined to be 21, not 16-18 like over here.

spade2you said:
I dunno, get between a mama bear and her cub and there are problems. Piss off an angry father with guns......not a good idea.
Click to expand...
Bad analogy. You coming between a bear is like me meeting an alien. A bear and I can't communicate well, we can't read each others basic natural signals well, and bears rely more on instinct than reasoning because they are still living in the wild striving for basic survival, not calling themselves a civilised society working 9-5 pretending they have impulse control until it's actually tested! ;)

spade2you said:
Call me crazy, but some people enjoy soap opera drama.
Click to expand...
Call me crazy, but some people enjoy the idea of violence, vengeance and being the judge jury and executioner in dispensing justice too. In some cultures, horrifyingly to those who don't live there and prefer peace, it's even justified!
 

Latest posts

Top Bottom
Back