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Did this dad overreact??

#41
Trance fusion has a point, maybe this guy wasn't as understanding as Gard or Mike and maybe that's why he wasn't told of the male friend. There's clearly a reason behind having the boyfriend sneaking in the house. I daresay it's reactions like beating the guy with a pipe that is the very reason why he didn't know about the boyfriend.
 
#42
f'nar f'nar said:
Trance fusion has a point, maybe this guy wasn't as understanding as Gard or Mike and maybe that's why he wasn't told of the male friend. There's clearly a reason behind having the boyfriend sneaking in the house. I daresay it's reactions like beating the guy with a pipe that is the very reason why he didn't know about the boyfriend.
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+1000.
I want my girls to feel safe to come to me with ANY issue, not live in fear of me and my rules and turning to "strangers" for that instead.
 
#43
mike_v_s said:
What I don't expect is people I don't know showing up in my house uninvited in the middle of the night. They don't get any quarter unless they can explain the situation before they lose consciousness or can run faster than me.
Mike
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That doesn't make much sense.
With a response like your detailing, how do you expect the "intruder" to explain anything while responding to an immediate threat catching them by surprise? They can't.
And btw, in the context of the article posted, the poor boy WAS invited. Maybe not by the father, but the boy was invited, and the father did fail to seek clarification before beating him, didn't he?
 
#45
mike_v_s said:
CHILD can be defined fairly liberally. If you found a naked dude in your daughter's bedroom when you were not aware your daughter was dating anyone, would you bother checking his ID and would it matter if he was 16-17 or not? I wouldn't care. You got the balls to come in my house you better have the balls to deal with the consequences. That goes for pretty much anyone that gets in my house and is capable of doijng my family harm, regardless of legal standing.

Mike
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+1

If that happens I kill the guy. If my son get in a bed with a girl and left her pregnant his life pretty much goes on. Hers dont. If I have double standard?? ... hell yeah!!!
 
#46
Depth_Charge said:
That doesn't make much sense.
With a response like your detailing, how do you expect the "intruder" to explain anything while responding to an immediate threat catching them by surprise? They can't.
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That's my point.
And btw, in the context of the article posted, the poor boy WAS invited. Maybe not by the father, but the boy was invited, and the father did fail to seek clarification before beating him, didn't he?
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The boy wasn't invited by the person that owns the house. Period. What the owner found, in the middle of the night, was a naked guy in his daughter's room...a daughter who did not have a boy friend to the best of his knowledge. That's an intruder.

Mike
 
#48
Howmany of the guys saying that the father was out of line have kids? I'm guessing most of them don't even need to shave once a week, much less have touched a girl, let alone have had kids.

I'm young, single, and thankfully youngin' free, and I still support that assertion that the dad was in the right. I would've done the same thing if I saw that happening to my little sister (that is, if I didn't know she was a whore)
 
#51
GeneralElectric said:
Howmany of the guys saying that the father was out of line have kids? I'm guessing most of them don't even need to shave once a week, much less have touched a girl, let alone have had kids.

I'm young, single, and thankfully youngin' free, and I still support that assertion that the dad was in the right. I would've done the same thing if I saw that happening to my little sister (that is, if I didn't know she was a whore)
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It seems like if you are an adult, and can't realize teenagers have sex, and do other stupid, regrettable things, and that they don't necessitate a beating to the head with a pipe to correct, then YOU are the one with the problem..
 
#52
tranceFusion said:
It seems like if you are an adult, and can't realize teenagers have sex, and do other stupid, regrettable things, and that they don't necessitate a beating to the head with a pipe to correct, then YOU are the one with the problem..
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I'm not very far at all past my teenage years.:eyebrow: I had sex all through highschool and I'm currently banging my way through college. Still, I'm not stupid enough to be banging some girl at her parents house at 4am without at least introducing myself to her folks first.

That said, I prefer chicks who own their own apartments.;)

I lost my virginity at 14, and I think that was too young. She's 15, and if she's sneaking dudes into her bedroom, how long do you think she's been going at it.:eyebrow:

EDIT: I'm also not saying that the kid deserved a beating with a pipe for boning that guy's daughter, I am saying that the father's actions were justifiable.
 
#53
tranceFusion said:
filling in the blanks? .. what other reason do you have for the daughter to hide this boyfriend for over a year???
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Oooo. A game. Do you want me to list them alphabetically or just in the order they come to me? Are we scoring this on a per answer basis? If so, what are the point values? Is there a threshold I have to cross to prove the question ridiculous or is just one enough to succinctly bury it?

OK, Here goes...in no particular order:

1) She's on medication
2) She's embarrassed because her dad has a stutter
3) She's embarrassed because the boyfriend has a stutter
4) He owns a car with his hardship license and the dad would disapprove of her riding around with an inexperienced driver
5) The boyfriend is covered in homemade tattoos he got in a Juvi-boot camp
6) His face was plastered all over the evening news because he shot 6 people in a home invasion when they started dating
7) This one was one those text and sex things and the boy said he'd cut her off if he had to meet the parents
8) He smells
9) He is a cyclops and they are shy people
10) You want any more?

I can do this all day. If you really can't think of any reason why a girl would hide a boyfriend from her dad besides the father being an overbearing man prone to violence, then you should peruse my list and try harder.

In fact, I invite EVERYONE reading this thread to post at keast one reason why this girl might have hidden this relationship from her father that doesn't put the onus of the secrecy on the father.

Good luck in Round Two, gents!!

Mike
 
#54
GeneralElectric said:
Howmany of the guys saying that the father was out of line have kids? I'm guessing most of them don't even need to shave once a week, much less have touched a girl, let alone have had kids.
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Folks, we have a winner! :)

Exactly.

mike_v_s said:
Wow. Talk about filling in the blanks to make it work for you.

Mike
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Indeed.

Kids, until you're responsible for another person's life (like a PARENT is), you man need to defer to those that actually know DOUBLE YOU-TEE-EFF they're talking about. End of discussion.

And for Mike's full rebuttal to your inane, ignorant, foolish comments, see my first post in this thread. You see, most parents are not the raging @$$holes that you want to see them as. I'd be willing to bet some real money that this girl's dad is a decent guy that thought he was protecting his daughter, not some abusive jerkoff that she couldn't talk to. She just knew he wouldn't approve of little Johnny sharing her bed at whatever day and time they choose, so she chose to lie (not telling is a LIE OF OMISSION, folks) to her father about it. Little Johnny was a) overwhelmed by hormones/testosterone and b) too stupid to say no to a very bad idea, or worse yet, came up with said badly stupid idea.

He got a well-deserved butt whuppin', and I betcha dad doesn't get in any real trouble over it, if there is any justice in the world. Matter of fact, if little Johnny's parents are sensible, they'll let things lie with possibly the exception of splitting any medical bills. I'd volunteer that much at the end of the day in this situation, but that's all I'd volunteer, and there wouldn't be any apology from me, just a strong admonition to not be in my house without my direct permission and supervision ever again...no, wait, he'd never be allowed in my home, or within sight of my daughter again, at least until she passed the age of 18 and was legally able to have a place of her own to schtup him in, because his sorry butt ain't ever gonna be in my home again....
 
#55
GeneralElectric said:
Howmany of the guys saying that the father was out of line have kids?
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I have 3 girls aged 8, 7 and 5. I have been VERY clear in making that common knowledge in this thread, and I have posted pics up of at least one of my daughters if you must seek proof. Search "autistic daughter proud" and you should find it.

In my youth, I took advantage of young teenage girls with family issues just to get sex. I know what drove a lot of them into my bed just through getting to know them. I was a predator. I don't want my girls having the same mindset as the girls I used. And I have the level of knowledge to protect them. A father teaches a daughter what she will and won't accept in a relationship. Generally speaking, your leadership style is the one she will come to accept in her own relationships with other males. You rule with an iron fist, chances are so will her chosen spouse. You beat her chances are she accepts it from others.

mike_v_s said:
That's my point.
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Fair enough :)
I understand where you're coming from mate. You love your daughter and will protect her the best way you can. You live in a different (and much more dangerous) area than me and I am not judging you or calling you out individually. Just talking concepts. At least I hope :)

mike_v_s said:
The boy wasn't invited by the person that owns the house.
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True. I concede that point and had I thought more about it before shooting back a response in haste, the boy probably knew sneaking in is wrong.

mike_v_s said:
In fact, I invite EVERYONE reading this thread to post at keast one reason why this girl might have hidden this relationship from her father that doesn't put the onus of the secrecy on the father.
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She is a snivelling, lying little coward who knows her father feels she is not ready for sex yet and instead of respecting his wishes, decided to go against her fathers' wishes in an act of rebellion. Or she loves the guy and wants to show him? Or she was coerced into sex by a predatory young male?

mike_v_s said:
Good luck in Round Two, gents!!
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How'm I doing so far pard'ner?
 
#60
I have a 15 year old daughter who lives with me (instead of with her mom) and I have been very explicit in explaining (from very early in her life) about all the harsh realities of life that I feel competent to talk about... including the hazards of sex when you are still a sophmore in high school. She has a pretty good head on her shoulders but of course she doesn't have the self discipline and emotional control that we expect of adults and I'm well aware that she wants very much to hang out with her girl and guy friends with no supervision so they can egg each other on to indulge their passion to party without thought to the consequences. I know I was the same way when I was her age and the only thing that kept me from doing some REALLY stupid things was the thought of being caught by my parents and the punishment I would receive.

Last week I came home from work and she was in her bedroom with the door closed with two of her guy friends from school. I opened the door and they were all sitting on seperate chairs and watching a DVD. Fine. I paused the DVD and asked who her friends were and was impressed that they each shook my hand and called me Mr. ---- and were very respectful. I then reminded my daughter that having friends over who are not pre-approved by me when I'm not there is against my rules and they have to leave.... but they could come back when I know ahead of time - and she always has to leave the door to her room open when any guy in is there with her NO exceptions. My daughter, like most teenagers, will constantly test the rules to see if the limits have changed or to see if I still care enough to enforce them. She respects me and trusts me because I am consistent and fair with her and she knows that I will never lose control of my emotions (like the fool in the OP story).

But suppose that I had come home and discovered that my daughter was indeed having sex with one of her 15 year old school friends. I would have grabbed him and frog marched him out of my house (without hurting him) throwing his clothes after him and then worked very hard to try to persuade my daughter that the consequences of HER risky behavior could easily change her life for the worse. Someone wrote that a father should trust his 15 year old daughter and accept her having sex with guys if that is what she wants to do. Baloney. I am legally (and morally) responsible for cleaning up any messes my daughter makes with any risky behavior she chooses to engage in which is why I also don't allow her to drink booze, take drugs, go to unsupervised parties or participate in any other activities that are inherently hazardous to herself or others.

When she is 18 she can do what she wants and if I have done my job right as her father, I can then trust her to have the necessary maturity to carry herself in a responsible manner for the rest of her life without my interference.
 

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