Divorce for Christmas

[A9X]

I'm sorry it's going to mess with your holidays, but it was going to be upsetting no matter when you got the news. Glad there's no kids involved. Best to you to get through it OK.

My motto now is: why get married when you can just buy someone you hate a house.

 

[jp1994]

Wow, it sounds like 13 is an unlucky number.

It figures, me and the OL are going on 13 years now.
Things are a bit rocky, too.

 

[disenchant]

this sounds weird, and i say this from complete inexperience, but i wonder if it would make it easier if i knew she was cheating...
the reason i question it, is because maybe if i knew she was really evil, then i could just be angry and maybe not so hurt and sad.

It hurts no matter what...even if you are the one doing the leaving. Just do what you need to do, and get a level-headed friend to help. My friends were very level-headed when I was a mess and they helped me out when i couldn't make sane decisions. Sometimes it takes an outside person to say "do you really want to fight over a bowl?"

May the force be with you.

 

[bassbully]

Suks dude hang in there...been there and mine was real ugly. I not only lost a home i built and everything in it i lost the bank account a new riding mower, my tools and she distroyed my personal belongings some awards that can never be replaced. Worse was she told my 2 daughters tons of lies about me and i havnt seen my oldest in over 5 year...she wont see me and only see my middle girl now and then.

No kids makes it great. Go on and live but watch the loose sex ....it can get crazy and getting a gal knocked up or the drip or worse aint no fun....no loose safe sex today

BTW shes seeing someone else...why? I used the same line your soon to be ex did to you. I did it after years of livin in a horrible marrage with a nagging #itch of a wife who told me daily to leave and find someone else...so i did.

 

[CallieBum73]

Well, just from my experience, I don't think it's easier when you know they are cheating. It certainly wasn't for me!

Nope...no its not. Nothing will crush you more! Then when they start pointing the finger at you cuz he couldnt keep his di#k in his pants.."you drove me to it, If you didnt work 50 hours a week" Yeah...hello...we are in debt fuc###er.
Dang...thanks, now Im angry about it all over again.

 

[NJL]

eddie i went through this crap last year, bro.

sorry you have to deal with it, too...

 

[Vince S.]

Between this and Spankypant's thread, my distrust of women has hit a all time low. Rock bottom? Hmm.

 

[hbarcat]

Wow, lots of "eddies" here. My wife announced she was leaving on the night of our 10 year anniversary.

It's not as cold as it sounds because I'd already lost the respect for her that I once had and I wasn't really sad to see her go. I think she wanted to make it to the 10 year anniversary date just to "prove" something to herself (she was always kind of weird that way).

Just be glad you don't have kids, but it will be hell for you legally and financially for years to come. I still have to see my ex-wife twice every week to pick up and drop off our daughter (divorce SUCKS for kids) and I treat her like a professional acquaintance and act all formal so that my emotions about her don't get in the way and cause problems for our daughter. That was good advice posted about how it's not a good idea to listen to your friends rip on your ex; they think it will make you feel better, but it can only make you bitter.

It's funny hearing my ex-wife's new husband complaining to me about her, about how she argues and screams and acts like a witch for no reason, spends his money like water and he thinks she's cheating on him. Priceless!

 

[MakiSupaStar]

Rent a whore and video tape it. Put it inside the spent condom and put it under her xmas tree. Happy Holidays.

 

[Vince S.]

Rent a whore and video tape it. Put it inside the spent condom and put it under her xmas tree. Happy Holidays.

This man is a genius.

 

[Mike N]

When everything is said and done, and you have found someone new, send your ex a thank you card.

 

[Baryonyx]

Get a lawyer on your side and make every attempt you can to get everything that is yours and everything you're owed.

 

[Johnny Crab]

Nope...no its not. Nothing will crush you more! Then when they start pointing the finger at you cuz he couldnt keep his di#k in his pants.."you drove me to it, If you didnt work 50 hours a week" Yeah...hello...we are in debt fuc###er.
Dang...thanks, now Im angry about it all over again.

+100
Reality is a rude awakening for the non-bill payers of the world especially when they choose to become single while working.
The looks on old ex's "newest" replacement wallets-with-legs can be priceless.

Lot of echoes of the past and present in this thread.
A similar event occured recently nearby.
I thought it was tinnitus but it was really alarm bells in my head from comments and actions.

No matter what follow the advice of keeping your head on straight, self-protection from what now is probably a predator(sorry folks, been thru it twice and the ride is mostly the same), keep a business-like relationship, ALWAYS have someone with you when you have to "see her", and very much avoid anyone who wants to lead you down the road of depression. You'll have your moments, sure, but you don't have to stay down.

Best of luck, be strong, and keep the music in you.

 

[cheezewiz]

What the kids go through is the absolute worst thing. I can say for sure, the worst night of my life was right after Christmas last year when we had to tell the kids we were splitting up. I tear up to this day thinking about it. It was even worse than the night I found out she was cheating.

 

[skaliwag66]

man, all of OUR friends are on my side about this too! they can't believe it either. and they ALL say that she's screwing up, and will end up regretting it and come crawling back in 6 months. but you know, i won't be there. i just can't take her back after this. she's told me a thousand times that she doesn't love me. she's turned her back on me, and left me sitting at home alone while she stays gone all the time. i just can't feel the same about her after all this.

At least you no longer have to waste any more time with this beyotch!
This may be a Christmas gift depending on how you look at it.

 

[Basshole]

So my wife decides to tell me about three weeks ago, that she wants a divorce. right before christmas, she springs this on me. what a terrible way to spend the holidays. this has to be the worst christmas ever. she couldn't have waited a month? what's worse is i didn't even see it coming. honestly, the thought would've never crossed my mind. thirteen years down the drain. and i can't even figure out why. this sucks bad. humbug!

24 years down the tubes for me.

Women are just dandy.

If ANYONE, EVER says anything about the cruelty of men...I just laugh. Women make men look like teddy bears.

Sorry for your pain, brother.

 

[Aaiieeee]

Imagine what it must have been like for her.. when it dawned on her she didnt feel the same?
Obviously you dont want to sympathise with her but it must have been hard.
And then when she had to tell you.. possibly the hardest thing she ever did?
You cant expect her to wait any longer than she did.. to 'wait till after christmas' would have been living an lie.
If she genuinly just didnt love you then I guess just appreciate the time you had and move on.
By the way I cant empathise or fairly comment as Im 20 and Ive never been married but this is just how it comes across to me. (I guess perhaps I wouldnt think like this if I was where you are)

 

[nortonrider]

Sucks Dude!
I think I saw somewhere that divorce rates are like 50%. That makes the whole thing a roll of the dice right from the start.
Realistically, we humans continue to grow and change throughout our lives, You and her are not the same people that you were 13 years ago. If you grew at different rates or in different directions (which it looks like you did), you dont have the same things in common, goals, etc.. Splitting is for the best.
Nobody really wants to be unhappy. Get this unpleasentness behind you and live your life making yourself happy.
Does it reallly matter when this hapened? If she told you after the first of the year, that is just a couple of more months of living a lie for both of you.
Till death do us part - yeah right. In our disposable society, it is ingrained into us that it is acceptable to just discard what you don't want and replace it. I'm not suprised how much this hapens.
Like others have said, make it amenicable as possible but protect your assets NOW!

 

[RWP]

.....So, your wife is divorcing you. I think you should get more than half of the stuff. .....

Wouldn't that be nice. :scowl:

 

[bearfoot]

I was married in august 06, and experienced, as they said in Ghostbusters, "total protonic reversal". Kicked out the second week of that December, for no particular reason. It was bewildering to me and still is. So we can ad a newlywed to this heartwarming thread. At least in this example there are no problems with stuff, dogs, or urchins. But I've spent the last year in an unfunky state, to put it mildly. Started to crack here and there with exaggerated outbursts of anger and such. Some of the advice given here resounds.
Well here's to a better year, people. Some of us may have been led along, but better to be here, on level ground, than with someone who is conflicted, or decietful, or doesn't know what they want.