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Divorce for Christmas

#61
been there. I know you said it was a surprise but after a while you might come to realize things weren't too hot.

I only figured out what a good marriage was after I got together with wife number 2 (ten years later we're still having fun).

Wife Number 2 is pretty cool.
She encouraged me to buy the Jag XK
She thinks my getting yet another Rob Allen is cool.
She mentioned that I should consider getting a Carl Thompson (we're neighbors and my wife met his at a local event)

So she spent three grand on shoes. (BTW the correct response is: "Wow honey, those are really nice shoes..."). These things work both ways.

Allow yourself some quality single-time. Get an XBOX. Go to the gym. Take a trip someplace your ex would never want to go.
 
#65
Vince S. said:
Between this and Spankypant's thread, my distrust of women has hit a all time low. Rock bottom? Hmm.
Click to expand...

Now....do you really think that woman are the only ones who cant be trusted????? Now that is funny!!!!!! I have alot of guy friends, and I know that more than 1/2 of them cheat or have cheated on their wives/girlfriends. And that my sweet, shy, Kentucky country boy, who I thought would never do this to me, was one of them........
So no, its not a sex thing, its a human nature thing. Its people in general who can not be trusted.
 
#66
And for real Eddie...I would look into maybe getting a P.I. or someway to find out what she is up to. You would need pictures in court to prove that she is cheating. Could help you save your arse when she gets up in court saying that you have emotionally neglected her and all the crap a lawyer will put in her head, to get every dime they can outta you. Paying alamony when she is sitting up with her new boyfriend is gonna suck.
"I dont love you anymore"..translation......"Im banging Billy-Bob down the street"
 
#67
My friend is getting divorced TODAY, her 5th anniversary. But it's a good thing, because even though they loved each other he loved something else more: lortab! It turns out he's been a closet junky the whole time, doctor shopping and the whole bit to feed his habit. It explains lots of stuff, like the car wrecks about every six months that were always somebody else's fault, and so on. I can't say it was all bad, there were a lot of good times - but the drug thing was always there even though she didn't realize it at the time.

So my friend is a happy camper today, because now her life won't be in constant turmoil. She was really messed up at first when the lies and half-truths came out and her friends started comparing notes on hubby's stories. No one wants to think about someone they love treating them like that, using them like that.

Now her life has definition, she is in control of what happens. And she's not looking back. I hope you can reach the same point, and the sooner the better.
 
#68
thanks for all the good advice everybody. there's definitely alot of nice people on this forum. thanks for all the support.:) i know this will be for the best. i have done nothing but try to give her 200% for 13 years. i gave her more love, affection, support, friendship and encouragement than most people thought possible... and it got me nowhere. when i think about all the energy i've spent trying to make her happy, it's just ridiculous.:rollno: so now i'll just have to try and re-focus that effort into other areas that will benefit ME! this will actually be a huge weight off my shoulders. and one thing i am happy about, is that i won't have to feel guilty for abandoning HER. this was her stupid decision! HER mistake! so when and if she tries to come crawling back... i won't have to feel bad for telling her to f@#k off!
 
#69
I have never been in you're position and I hope I never will be. But you're taking this a million times better than I would, I can tell you that. I'm the kind of person that gets angry, then that anger just leads to depression. Recently a very tradgic even occured in my life (nothing to do with a female, I'm young and I feel getting close to a lady at such a young and impressionable age could end tragically) and I got very angry at the world, I was angry at the people who had taken what I had away from me, I thought my anger was healthy, but the angrier I got the more distraught and lost I felt inside. Late January this year I attempted to take my life because of it. I don't want to sound like I'm a whiney little kid who thinks the world is against me, I had some of the most supportive friends in the world but I let my own anger get the better of me and when there was nobody left to be angry at I was left empty, that anger had become a part of me and when it left, there was nothing there.
But yes, as I was saying, you're taking this like a man, on the chin and it's a learning experience. I do not envy you're situation but I envy you're strength and determination, I'm sure those things will pull you through. Good on you buddy, and good luck.
 
#70
Hang in there man.. breaking up sucks and there's all sort of details to work out but take it from someone who went thru it a few years back, I'm happier now than I've ever been and my swinging single years in between were some of the best times of my life.. the world is your oyster bro.. just get your ducks in a row, dot your i's and such, then look around and you'll see you have your pick of women who would love to hang out with you.. that part at least is always better for us guys..
 
#71
also, about the cheating thing...
of course she says she isn't cheating, and really, who would actually admit to that? but the thing is, i really don't think she is cheating. i think she's just a mess! the thing is, she has never been a very sexual person. we always had a healthy relationship in that respect, but she just has zero drive. another thing is that she has stopped taking her birth control pills. not really a huge deal, but for someone who is so adamant about definitely not having children (incidentally, she is 38), it really makes you think. she's telling me that once it's final, she doesn't want to date or re-marry. i know she's probably just telling me what she thinks i want to hear, but not the best decision if someone is sleeping around.:eyebrow: who knows?
i think she's having some sort of personal crisis. she has some issues. she has never finished anything! she's given up on everything she's ever tried and i think she feels like a failure, and a quitter. she hates her job. she never finished her degree and she's tried 3 times! and she's really let herself go physically. so, i just think she desperately trying to do something?!? something different? i don't know what's up with her. i have tried to be supportive, but i can't try anymore.:scowl:
 
#76
blindeddie said:
yeah, you're right! come to think of it, there's a cute little waitress at the bar i've been playing recently that really looks like she needs someone to give her some support.:D
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Now you're talkin'.. it's thinking like that, that'll keep you going man.. it's amazing once you look around how many cute ladies are in need of some "support".. Ladies & Gentlemen, I predict happiness & clean pipes in this man's future..
 
#77
ElectrAcoustic said:
Now you're talkin'.. it's thinking like that, that'll keep you going man.. it's amazing once you look around how many cute ladies are in need of some "support".. Ladies & Gentlemen, I predict happiness & clean pipes in this man's future..
Click to expand...

:D:D
Well said............;)


Been there, done that, too. I won't go into the details, but mine happened around the same time as Gard's did. It sucked, but life is much better now.
 
#80
bearfoot said:
"Total Protonic Reversal"
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GOTTA remember that one! :D

bearfoot said:
...better to be here, on level ground, than with someone who is conflicted, or deceitful, or doesn't know what they want.
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+10000 !

Ain't no way you get more than half.
Oh wait, there is!
You(men) usually get more than half of the bills and sometimes all of them(oh joy), the credit report damage, and the collections phone calls.

blindeddie said:
... and it got me nowhere. when i think about all the energy i've spent trying to make her happy, it's just ridiculous.:rollno: so now i'll just have to try and re-focus that effort into other areas that will benefit ME! this will actually be a huge weight off my shoulders. and one thing i am happy about, is that i won't have to feel guilty for abandoning HER. this was her stupid decision! HER mistake! so when and if she tries to come crawling back... i won't have to feel bad for telling her to f@#k off!
Click to expand...
Here are some less blunt lines and tips:

Ex calls ranting, you say "We're not married anymore. Tell it to him" and hangup.

Ex shows up wanting to get cozy, DO NOT ANSWER THE DOOR if you're "D" is not final unless you have a witness with you and good self-control. IT'S A TRAP! Conjugal visits re-set the clock in many states, thus she's your wife again!

Run with your wallet and for your sanity's sake if she wants to get cozy when she figures out she's in serious financial straits. A sweet-talking phonecall can also turn into a trap. Been there, got the T-shirt, got fleeced a couple of times until I figured out a knife in the back wasn't worth it.

Give Sam Kinison's version of "Wild Thing" a listen. Have a laugh. Lighten up for a minute.
 

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